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Band Mates and privacy

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by RoadRanger, Aug 6, 2012.


  1. RoadRanger

    RoadRanger Supporting Member

    Feb 18, 2004
    NE CT
    I'm putting together a new project and just need a guitarist now. I had to cancel an audition tonight because our drummer couldn't make it. Thing is, he's such a private guy that he didn't give us a reason - this guy is like 25 and doesn't even have a facebook account :eyebrow: . Awesome drummer who teaches part time at a local music store, I met him at a blues jam awhile back. Now, if he wasn't such an introvert there's no way he'd be available - AFAIK that's his only shortcoming. And I'm sure he had a good reason to not make it as he loves playing. I can "work around" this issue but I can see it being a problem as already I had to tell this guitarist I didn't know why he cancelled and I'm sure that made a great first impression :( . Should I have made up something? I've already "hinted" at the drummer that he needs to give us reasons for cancellations because the average musician auditioning isn't going to cut the band the slack I'm willing to cut him but he didn't seem to "get" it.
     
  2. fdeck

    fdeck Supporting Member Commercial User

    Mar 20, 2004
    Madison WI
    HPF Technology LLC
    I rarely give reasons, because it seems like a lot of folks treat it as invitation to argue or negotiate with me. Also, I want to keep my flexibility. One exception is when the reason is because I've got another gig.

    On the other hand, if the drummer is regularly bailing out of agreed-upon commitments, then it's time to find a new drummer. The band should get together and decide how last minute needs will be handled, such as auditioning a guitarist.
     
    sqlb3rn likes this.
  3. placedesjardins

    placedesjardins

    May 7, 2012
    You need to give him some space, when he's using the restroom. Stop hovering over his shoulder. It is probably creeping him out. Other than that, just talk to him about it.
     
  4. RoadRanger

    RoadRanger Supporting Member

    Feb 18, 2004
    NE CT
    Actually #1 I'm not (yet) and #2 Yes, I'm afraid of that.
     
  5. RoadRanger

    RoadRanger Supporting Member

    Feb 18, 2004
    NE CT
    So, you cancel out of rehearsals without giving some sort of reason?
    It certainly isn't to that point yet. I just don't want to keep letting things slide until it becomes a point of drama.
    I'm note quite sure what you meant by this?
     
  6. bassfran

    bassfran

    Mar 1, 2012
    Chicago
    Endorsing artist: Lakland basses
    Sounds pretty smart to me.
     
  7. RoadRanger

    RoadRanger Supporting Member

    Feb 18, 2004
    NE CT
    Well, on the plus side he doesn't have any social life except every other weekend with his girlfriend who goes to school a couple hours away. Doesn't party. On the minus side for him he doesn't network to get into a band worthy of him - yay for us though :D .
     
  8. Winfred

    Winfred

    Oct 21, 2011
    You'll figure it out with him. But if the drummer makes it a habit... can him. I don't care how good he is. How good of a drummer is he when he doesn't show up?
     
    LowFish likes this.
  9. RoadRanger

    RoadRanger Supporting Member

    Feb 18, 2004
    NE CT
    Thing is he's just a kid (less than half my age) and I feel like i ought to be helping him get his **** together - but then again I guess i was a bit dense at that age too LOL,
     
  10. gearhead1972

    gearhead1972

    Feb 21, 2012
    Kent NY
    I kinda look at my band as a job, when I call in sick to work, it is just that. "Hello this is me I am home sick today" that is all they need to know, and all they will know. Same goes for the band, If I have to cancel, that's it they don't need to know why. I am a 39 year old adult, if I need to cancel they better believe there is a good reason, and not one of them will ask why.
     
    sqlb3rn likes this.
  11. Why does it matter why he cancelled? Why would you even ask?
     
    sqlb3rn and 10cc like this.
  12. RoadRanger

    RoadRanger Supporting Member

    Feb 18, 2004
    NE CT
    I've just never been in a band where someone would cancel without giving a reason, even if it was somewhat vague or just "a personal matter" (and that one used very rarely). I guess you youngin's have a "new normal" LOL. As far as issues with bandmate privacy in the past it's always been on the TMI side LOL . This one was new to me :) .
     
    LowFish likes this.
  13. What I am saying is a cancel is a cancel, regardless of the reason (and whether or not you think it is "good" or "bad"). So don't worry about it. The only thing I concern myself with cancels are if there are too many of them, or if they follow inconvenient patterns.

    And for the record, I'd rather play with someone who had a few cancels for bad reasons than someone who had a lot of cancels for great reasons.
     
  14. RoadRanger

    RoadRanger Supporting Member

    Feb 18, 2004
    NE CT
    ^ Good points ...
     
  15. LiquidMidnight

    LiquidMidnight

    Dec 25, 2000
    I think, for me at least, it comes down to musicians often being flakes and lazy. If someone is cancelling just because they don't feel like showing up, which many musicians do, then that's a huge red flag. Also, I'm a busy guy, so when I set aside time in my schedule to have someone cancel at the last minute without a good excuse, it's my time that is being wasted - something I don't really appreciate.

    With that said, if someone doesn't give a reason, I'm not going to pry. However, if it becomes problematic, then a change is going to have to be made.

    Touche'
     
    Jimmy4string and Imaginary Pony like this.
  16. fdeck

    fdeck Supporting Member Commercial User

    Mar 20, 2004
    Madison WI
    HPF Technology LLC
    If I've committed to a rehearsal, then I wouldn't cancel out unless it were a real emergency. And if I have a good rapport with the band, then I will usually tell them the reason. If I don't know the band members very well, then I keep it to myself. Bear in mind that this is extremely rare, and I have a reputation for being reliable.

    If someone calls a rehearsal and I haven't committed to it yet, then I will either commit to it, or just say that I can't do it.

    I meant that auditioning a guitarist is an unusual situation where the band might have to work around the guitarist's schedule in order for the audition to occur. Then the band should agree in advance on how to deal with this. It could be something as simple as: "Since we're auditioning guitarists, please try to keep your schedule flexible.
     
  17. BAbaracus

    BAbaracus

    Mar 25, 2011
    Lynnville, IN
    I don't think not giving a reason is that big of a deal unless he is a frequent canceller. In which case he would probably lie and give a lame excuse anyway. So I wouldn't worry about the reason.

    And, for the record, I'm also 25 and don't have Facebook. Not necessarily because I'm particularly private, but I do dislike drama, ignorance, and pretty much everything else that goes along with Facebook. I'd rather hang out here on TB anyway. Much more interesting conversation.
     
  18. RoadRanger

    RoadRanger Supporting Member

    Feb 18, 2004
    NE CT
    One guitarist I'm talking to is in a band but looking to play out more. His band does not have any internet presence at all except for a few poor videos on youtube. I can't see how folks expect to get gigs if they don't start by using the tools everyone else does? To me, not having a facebook account means you're not going to be an active promoter of the band but maybe that's just me too LOL.
     
  19. No FB? Then great for him. FB is NOT the be-end-all of existence on this planet. :eyebrow:
     
    Fat Freddy likes this.
  20. Corbeau

    Corbeau

    Dec 14, 2011
    Australia
    There are other ways of promoting a band aside from Facebook. I guess it also depends on the personality of the drummer - maybe he's not and never will be an extrovert, but can lay down some great beats. Like with my band, I do lots of the internet side of connecting, like setting up the soundcloud and emailing bookers and venues. My drummer does the face-to-face networking during gigs because I'm not comfortable with that role and I usually tend to keep to myself. I'm not arrogant, I'm just a shy introvert and I find talking to strangers awkward. So I think everyone has their own roles in the band.

    So, perhaps it's a good idea to talk about everyone's roles beforehand.

    Also, I think it's politeness to give a reason for not being to make an audition.
     

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