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Band members networking and being Poached at GIGS

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Octaves, Nov 2, 2013.

  1. Octaves


    Jun 22, 2012
    Played a gig yesterday. Guitarist got a lot of attention. Also, positive comments about our drummer. There were lots of musos at the gig. Guitarist got approached by many people for conversations. Turns out a guitarist audience member (who is also friends with our lead singer) has approached our guitarist to "jam" with him, along with our lead singer apparently. I overheard our guitarist say 'yeah' and he expressed how excited he was.

    Just wondering what the point of our band is if half our members are going to jam with other people? Surely, if you're getting your creative needs met and freedom of expression, which he is, then you'd stock to your own band and not dilute your prodect?

    Then there's the idea of drummer who is in multiple bands asking us who our contact for the gig was.

    Honestly, i expect a certain amount of loyalty, and if guitarist and singer are going to start sleeping with others, then i'm outa there. I don't think singer will, she'll prob try, but when i put it to her, i think she'll see common sense.

    I'm just so sick of slimey people. Why does everythingbhave to be a 'networking' opportunity (aka, **** fight)? Just be happy in the band that you're in and commit.

  2. Space Pickle

    Space Pickle

    Apr 15, 2013
    you seem a tad insecure
  3. AaronVonRock


    Feb 22, 2013
    Our drummer wants to audition to be the singer in a local doom band. I'd prefer that he didn't but if he wants to, I'm not going to try to talk him out of it or stop him.

    I get what you're saying, but I see a lot of people in multiple bands. Some people just want to play as much as possible with as many people as possible. If everyone is up front about it from the beginning, I don't have a problem with it.
  4. seanm

    seanm I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize!

    Feb 19, 2004
    Ottawa, Canada
    Most of the bands I have been in the members where also in other bands. Only gets to be a problem if they are never available for gigs.
  5. 20db pad

    20db pad

    Feb 11, 2003
    I been everywhere, man...
    None. At all.
    The only accomplished musicians I know that play with only one group are those that are very busy members of a successful money generating band. They have little or no time to play with outside projects. Everybody else (think 98%) can and will play with any project they have time for and have the potential to enjoy.

    If your band members play the right stuff well, show up on time, don't steal your girlfriend/gear, and are fairly even-keeled, you are far ahead of the game and what they do in their down time away from your project is their business.

    Don't think for a hot second that Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend are upset because "their" bassist is doing a Nine Inch Nails tour this fall. It's simply how this pursuit works, from arenas down to garages and basements.
  6. I really don't see the issue. Isn't making music supposed to be fun? I mean, if someone wants me to jam a little on a night when I've got no other commitments it seems like that would be completely appropriate. You mention that one band should be enough for anyone to be satisfied with, but why? If I was in a rock band, but wanted to play some jazz on the side, or even the same stuff I'm playing with the band but in a different setting with other musicians, how is that going to detract from the band I'm in with you?

    You also mention "loyalty", but you don't mention anyone leaving your band to start something else. I've set up jams with many other people at gigs, mine and theirs, not because I wanted to "poach" them away from what they were doing, but because we thought it would be a good time. It wasn't about an end result or a long term relationship, though some developed into ongoing things that really had no effect on what I or they were doing with our main gig.

    In the end, I think that if I wasn't always playing with new or different people, I'd become too narrow-minded and stuck in a rut to progress creatively. It would be like the walls were closing in around me and cause me to look at music as though it were nothing more than a business. It would steal the sense of community and kinship I feel around other musicians. It would also take away wonderful opportunities to sit in with other musicians and experience their way of doing shows, not to mention the fact that many times a really good source of new fans comes along when people I jam with want us to do an hour before they go on.

    I get the sense that your last line is why live music scenes have died. I notice many people who tend to look at everything like it's us versus them instead of everyone working together.

    Maybe try to think of it this way... Would you be angry if the lead singer did a guest spot with another band who introduced her as being from your band, then as she was leaving the stage told their fans where you could see her with you guys this weekend?
  7. thudfromafar


    Dec 12, 2007
    It depends.
    Sometimes, it's a good thing.
    Other times, people just want more, and want what they can't have.
  8. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    1) If you are playing with good musicians then they are going to be in demand.

    2) Lighten up and don't be "that guy" who sucks the fun out of playing music.

    3) I have never been in only one band at a time and I have made it work fine over the years.

    4) Most of the musicians I have ever worked with are in more than one project.

    5) Are you just jealous that nobody was hitting you up to jam?
  9. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    I poached a keyboard player once. He stood out as a phenomial musician in a band of mediocre players. I don't think he would have jumped ship if he was happy with the band he was in.
  10. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Then there's that.
  11. jazzbill


    Jun 4, 2010
    Richardson, TX
    Networking is the lifeblood of music. Embrace it. Everyone in my bands play in multiple bands. "Sleeping around"? It is not a marriage and no one is going to contract a social disease from playing with others. You are being a little overwrought.
  12. Dave W

    Dave W

    Mar 1, 2007
    White Plains

    All the members in my band regularly play with other musicians. Nobody gets offended about it and we're all very committed to our band. Playing with others is very helpful for personal development. If a better opportunity arose for one of my guys I'd want them to take it. It may suck for me at time time, but I'll move on and be fine.

    Networking is best done at a gig...
  13. marmadaddy


    Oct 17, 2005
    Rochester, NY
    Read his posts in other threads. This is just trolling.
  14. Yeah. Get better so more people ask you to jam/play with them too.
  15. huckleberry1


    Jul 1, 2013
    Mesquite, Texas
    sorry, it sounds like you need to concentrate on your own musicianship and you won't be consumed with self doubt.
  16. fhm555

    fhm555 So FOS my eyes are brown Supporting Member

    Feb 16, 2011
    Chill Winston...It's me...Charlie knows it's me.

  17. hail


    Nov 7, 2011
    Dallas, Tx
    Now, I'm not gonna agree with TS on this, but I can understand his side of the story. They just finished a gig and he sees other people treating it like the set he just played was just for him to accompany the guitarist and/or singer's audition for another group.

    When you feel like 'OK, I want this band to be the best it can possibly be and everyone needs to focus on it', it's understandable to be upset and think that your bandmates might not be as dedicated as you.

    That being said, it is being jealous and oversensitive to take it to heart that they want to explore. You should try playing out with some new style yourself and find some humility. You need to find some zen in music or you'll just be plagued with stress.
  18. etoncrow

    etoncrow (aka Greg Harman, the curmudgeon with a conundrum)

    I truly do love the "ignore" option
  19. Hmm. Yeah, I just saw that thread http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f67/commitment-levels-holidays-over-busy-period-1027420/ But, I have a feeling something bad happened to the OP - because they seem very depressed.

    OP: So what’s really going on? Unless you’ve just been drinking - something bad in your personal life must of happened - yes, no? In other words - are you okay?
  20. Octaves


    Jun 22, 2012
    The irony is, to be in a serious money generating band takes time and commitment. I'm not insecure. Guess i could start doing the same, instead of being the 'band leader' and organising this whole thing.

    Only way i see it is:

    1. If i do massive promo, own the business name (which i do), the PA and pay them all a fee.

    2. Not really care and let them indulge in mediocrite for the rest of their lives, which they've managed to do well so far.

    All i was doing was putting the idea out there, as there seems to be a lot of sleazing around in the music industry. You might say 'that is it' and that's the way it is, but how about the notion of committing, putting in the effort, and making it together? I guess the person who said 'some people will never be happy', summed it up, in terms of no matter how good it sounds, they will always want something else.

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