Band Problems..ARG!

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by bass_player16, Mar 2, 2006.

  1. Hey everyone, its been a while since I've posted, been grounded for ages:mad: . Our band is having problems, well one specifically...our lead guitarist. Now I know what your all thinking, well guitarists are always problems haha, and granted they are, but this case I'm sure has happened before. Anyways on to the story, our guitarist really isn't devoted to our band, he likes to think he is, but our drummer, myself and our singer/2nd guitarist also agree that he is not. Basically what usually happens is we will get together and practise, and we will spend half the time teaching him parts to our songs that he SHOULD know, then again hes only ever written like 2 parts to any of our songs, but thats a whole 'nother thing. As of lately we have been very digusted with his lack of devotion, and his girlfriend isn't helping matters any by accusing our drummer of liking our lead guitarist(our drummer is a girl, just to clear that up). Anyways, his girlfriend is pushing our drummer out of the band, so I have no idea what we could do, we either lose a really good drummer, or we lose our guitarist who does nothing in essence, but I have no idea how to approach him about this as hes been one of my best friends for quite sometime and he would be crushed. Any help in how to approach this situation would be VERY muchly appreciated.
  2. Do you want the whole band to fall apart? It's well on its way to doing so.

    Dishonest method (Easiest, not best.)- Tell him you were outvoted and he is out.
    Fire the git player.

    Honest method- "...our guitarist really isn't devoted to our band, he likes to think he is, ... he is not... we will spend half the time teaching him parts to our songs that he SHOULD know, then again hes only ever written like 2 parts to any of our songs,... we have been very digusted with his lack of devotion, and his girlfriend isn't helping matters any... Anyways, his girlfriend is pushing our drummer out of the band,..."
    Fire the git player.

    Might be the best thing that every happened to him in terms of growing up and handling responsibilities.

    " I have no idea what we could do..."
    Fire the git player.

    Yes you do, it's just uncomfortable. Confrontation always is.

    Fire the git player and move onwards and upwards. If he is your friend he will continue to be. If not, better to find that out now too.

    Carry on.

    Now stay outta trouble before I take the 360 away!
  3. Thanks Intune. Ya i guess you were right, I do know what we need to do, I just don't know how any of us will be able to do it. I just feel really bad for it all, because hes a good guy and all, just not devoted enough. I just dont exactly know how to approach him about it thats all.

    Damn why are bands so much work? lol
  4. Does he know how you guys feel? If yes, fire the git. If not, sit him down before the next practice (please tell me his girlfriend does NOT come to practices :scowl: ) Have everything written down that bothers you guys and have him address them one by one. He might not even realize that he isn't giving a solid effort. Do not gang up on him. One person should do the speaking unless he asks for confirmation of a consensus from another member. Have him speak to his girl. If the drummer wanted him why the heck would she have one foot out the door, eh? If the meeting goes well, go out & have fun as a band. Practice at that point may be counter- productive.

    If he refutes you every step of the way on these points or doesn't show marked improvement afterward, you're back to... Fire the git player.

    Good luck with it. I wish I could tell you it gets easier. ;)
  5. txbasschik


    Nov 11, 2005
    Leander, Texas
    One good drummer is worth 100 guitarists. Especially when the guitarist in question has a jealous and insecure girlfriend. Keep the drummer. You can find another git-tar picker.

  6. Have a meeting (and write minutes). I know it sounds so un-rock'n'roll but in my band things are going faster since everybody knows what he/she is supposed to do.

    Talk to the guy before you make descisions. You might be surprised.
  7. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta / Macon (sigh)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    Are you freaking kidding me?! How are you in danger of losing the drummer?! There is no "either or"! Dude, his cow of a girlfriend IS NOT IN THE BAND! SHE HAS 0% INFLUENCE OVER THE BAND! She is not in a position to push jack! Tell him and her to go to hell! Trust me, it is VERY easy to replace a guitarist! Either or?! You're going to let a dedicated drummer go to keep a slack guitarist and his c**t girlfriend?! :scowl:
  8. RSalvador


    Nov 19, 2005
    Springfield, MO
    +1 to everything also seems important to let the drummer know that no matter what happens she is in and if it means losing the guitar player so be it, if that's the way everyone feels. Then when you have the meeting with him everyone's in agreement, no surprises and he will either come along after seeing that, or get canned. Either way the band stays together, just needing a new guitarist. There are ton's of them out there too, and they are not all hard to work with.
  9. DaveDeVille

    DaveDeVille ... you talkin' to me ?? Supporting Member

    +1 ...
    it really shouldn't matter if the drummer is female ,
    i'd keep a dedicated drummer at all cost .

    tell Yoko to take a hike ... and take her slacker guitarist boyfriend with her . :scowl:
  10. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    Wait, wait, wait. Before you go off half-cocked and fire this guy, you need to sit down with him and explain why he is not meeting your expectations. Be specific. Tell him what you expect and give him a short, but reasonable period of time to correct the problem. If he fails, you fire him, but at least he will understand WHY you fired him. I would treat any bandmate that way, especially a friend.

    You should also tell him that no girlfriends or boyfriends are allowed at practice, and that no one significant other will have any say in the band members. I'm guessing you're teenagers and this guy is probably thinking with his wang, but band practice is not the place to have a date.

    This type of conversation is difficult, but it is the adult thing to do. Setting goals, addressing issues and solving problems are all part of a professional band.
  11. jazzbo58

    jazzbo58 Bassist for My Man Godbey Supporting Member

    Apr 21, 2001
    New Orleans, LA USA
    Tell his girlfriend to butt-out of band business. If he doesn't like that tell him to hit the happy trail. Let your drummer know that she is in no danger of being pushed out of your band. Hope things work out. But as long as girlfriends try to call the shots it never will.

  12. Thanks guys for all the respones, I'm gonna try and figure out a way to sit down and talk with him about this all. As far as telling his girlfriend to but out and leave us alone, thats gonna be tough, because she doesn't listen.

    SHes in friggin australia right now(we live in canada) and shes STILL controlling people here, it just boggles my mind, and i hate her guts for it. I have let our drummer know that she is more in the band than the guitar play, and that what I see happening is the guitar players girl coming back and convincing him to kick me and the drummer out of the band because she hates us, in which case we go on our marry way and take our rhythm guitarist with us as well. But again, thank you all for your suggestions, I'm definatly taking them all to heart.
  13. CrazyArcher


    Aug 5, 2004
    If nothing helps, fire the g-tarist, he's the weakest link.
  14. GOOD-BYE!
  15. db4usa


    Mar 5, 2006
    St. Louis, MO
    We had that problem with our singer. Never helped load equipment, his wife wanted to call all of the shots and she was a real pest. Even talking to venue owners like she was the manager. We sat down and had a band meeting and began a possitive discussion about all of our shortcomings. We finally got around to the singer and included the fact that we didn't need a Yoko Ono in our group. Problem solved. She appears a gigs rarely and keeps her mouth shut. Of course it helped that we had another singer in the wings, in case it didn't work out. Thankfully it did.
  16. Joe P

    Joe P

    Jul 15, 2004
    Milwaukee, WI
    Ok, ok - You're right, Mr. Cognito. The previous posts had me pretty worked-up along with them, but You're right; the guy should be talked-to first. ...And if everything works-out well, that gee-tar and his bee-ahh-cha will be otta-dare!

    If she's good, then hang onto that drummer-babe - a girl in the band is worth $$*gigs*$$! (Our band got a girl guitarist! Ka-ching!). Yup - face-it: their bod-od-dies are commodities in the band buisness!

  17. Listen to the people who advise talking first. Figure out with your bandmates exactly what the problem is, and what you will and will not put up with.

    You may be right - he may not be very devoted to the band. Actions speak louder than words. If he is not learning the stuff, he is apparently not interested in learning the stuff.

    It will prove to be very helpful if you force yourself to write it out beforehand. Go over the notes several times, because that will make you think about specific wording. Words mean a lot - they are the only way you have to communicate with the guy. Changing one word can mean the difference between happy people and angry people.

    Also, you don't want to be trying to figure out the right thing to say during the awkward confrontation period. You want to clear headed and have a specific purpose.

    Then, have THE meeting, where one of you goes over what you wrote. One of you should do most of the talking. Do not attack or gang up or make it a bitch seesion. Simply state what you all view as the problems that must be fixed in order for this grooup to continue functioning as a band.

    But give him a chance to fix the problems. It is possible that he does not realize you are all having issues with his performance. Once it is clear that his job is on the line, he might shape up.

    If he can't fix the issues, or does not want to, then either you put up with it or part ways. I would advise against "firing", or telling him to get the f*** out, etc. Be as nice as possible about it, but do it if you have to. Living in a dysfunctional band can be hell.

    It's best not to burn bridges however. Be nice. In a few years, this guy might turn his boat around and be great - then you will want him back. Or he might be the manager of the club where you really want to get a gig. Or he might give up the guitar, but steer a great musician your way. Who knows - the point is, if you piss him off and leave as enemies, you won't get anything good from it - and quite possibly a lot of bad.
  18. BassNoob?


    Sep 18, 2005
    Redding, CT
    That is great advice. A good drummer is hard to find, but there are a TON of guitar players around. ;)
  19. scottbass

    scottbass Bass lines like a big, funky giant

    Jul 13, 2004
    Southern MN
    Not true. One good drummer is worth THOUSANDS of guitarists, maybe even TENS OF THOUSANDS of guitarists! Resolve the problem however you need to in order to keep that drummer happy. Whenever one of my bands "breaks" we can "repair" it and go on gigging unless we have to spend 6 months to a year looking for an acceptable drummer.
  20. Before you get rid of anyone or do anything else, the girlfriend's influence needs to be addressed. That sounds like the core problem to me.

    Getting rid of your drummer only adds another problem because unless you are going to stay in the garage forever, you are going to wind up playing for audiences which contain girls, right? Well... girlfriend ain't gonna like that either. Yoko is your problem.