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Band quitting spree. Maybe I AM the problem.

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by The Big, Mar 8, 2021.


  1. The Big

    The Big

    Jun 24, 2020
    I just quit not one, but two bands in the span of one week. Today, I officially slammed the door (gracefully) on a band mentioned in one of my previous posts (rant about a certain saxophone player disturbing the peace).

    As much as I hate to say it, the sax player was partly right. This band is a dead end.

    a) The singer is ALWAYS drunk, she sounds far worse than on day one and can't be bothered to get through a song without forgetting her words or giggling.
    b) They want to write originals, but when I offer originals, fully mixed and mastered lovingly by hand for hours (since no one else 'has time' to write them), they get sneered at.
    c) The drummer shut me out completely. He was improving when I gave him guidance, now he's stagnating because some teacher had the bright idea of enforcing a no-kit practice pad rule - sure, fine, but you're in a band, man, and not a marching one. You can play all of two grooves after all this time, but rudiments are the answer.
    e) I 'take too long' to pack up my gear when the rest doesn't even bother bringing their instruments sometimes. Guitarist? I brought a strat for him. Pedals? Look no further. Cable spaghetti? Bass guy's got 'em. But be packed up in 2 minutes, or we'll moan at you.
    f) Why bother with gigging and composing if we can spend money on practice spaces and be a sloppy cover-toting 'rehearsing band?'
    g) They wanna play heavy metal covers. I suggest War Pigs (it's overplayed, but that's obviously not an issue, since they've been pushing Seven Nation Army since day one), get moaned at. Lady Gaga is suggested instead.

    The other band? Just sloppy...

    Is it so much to ask that every member practices their parts? I thought that was pretty much a given. I guess not. They say if you have a problem with everyone, you might be the problem. So... Maybe I'm the *******. Maybe I'm not even the musician I thought I was. I don't know anymore. I'm just so tired... Completely worn out.
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2021
    armybass, Mr_Moo, VerryBerry and 43 others like this.
  2. 3Liter

    3Liter

    Feb 26, 2015
    Hobbiest
    I was gonna see if you were local to me so I clicked on your profile. Dang, your half my age. You're not allowed to be this grumpy and disillusioned yet!

    I like your attitude towards the band. You'll do well with better people. Good luck.
     
  3. The Big

    The Big

    Jun 24, 2020
    Bah! I just turned 20 and I've only been playing since the age of 17, so you're absolutely right. I don't have the chops nor the years to be this grumpy. But I'm a gloomy person off stage in general - maybe I just expect too much.
     
  4. WillyWonka

    WillyWonka I "heart" pointy headstocks Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2019
    If you don't already, learn to sing and play treble guitar.

    Then you only need 2 more jerks to complete a trio. bass/drums or guitar/drums.

    That's what I did.
     
  5. The Big

    The Big

    Jun 24, 2020
    You know, I never considered myself a jerk. But now that I think about it, it's liberating. Now I can be a dick to people and don't have to justify it... lol.

    Jokes aside, trio seems like the way to go. Thought about going 8 string. Taking singing lessons right now, actually!
     
  6. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Connecticut
    I have my standards. I like playing in bands, but not wasting my time.

    Raise your standards. Nothing wrong with that.
     
  7. WillyWonka

    WillyWonka I "heart" pointy headstocks Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2019
    I have seen too many talented musicians in garbage bands with talentless hacks...

    I'm gonna to be the talentless hack in charge.
     
    Empiar93, Mr_Moo, Ronzo and 6 others like this.
  8. The Big

    The Big

    Jun 24, 2020
    Funny. Second half of your post was exactly what I had in mind... I doubt I have much talent, but I'll sure fake it and take the reins if it helps any.
     
    Mr_Moo, BOOG and PennyroyalWe like this.
  9. brianrost

    brianrost Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 26, 2000
    Boston, Taxachusetts
    Sounds just like my early gigging experiences. I'd only last a couple of months in a band before I'd have to quit. It wasn't until I got into bands with people who were either pro or ex-pro that things settled down and the bands would last for a few years. It just takes a while to get enough connections in your area to meet the right people.
     
    Mr_Moo, bbh, Kipp Harrington and 13 others like this.
  10. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    Should have fired the drummer before you quit. It's totally worth it.
     
  11. The Big

    The Big

    Jun 24, 2020
    Makes sense. It's partly on me. I know I've become relatively decent and can usually hold my own, but I'm much too worried and nervous to go and play at an open jam night. Gonna have to break the ice eventually.
     
  12. The Big

    The Big

    Jun 24, 2020
    Ha. He's the band leader. He takes management real seriously, but just talks too much and plays too little. The others aren't any kind of spectacular keepers either, so I'd rather just cut myself off completely.
     
  13. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather

    It's ok. You will come across many musicians over time that want to be in a band but not do the work. And you will find more serious musicians. You're young. Got plenty of time.
     
  14. Echo brianrost above. Could be you set your sights too low with current band mates. Suggest working on your chops so that you can aim higher and audition with a more professional band with more professional/serious musicians with a higher degree of maturity and dedication. When you earn their respect, you’ll find what you’re looking for.
     
  15. The Big

    The Big

    Jun 24, 2020
    Boy do I hope so. I'm planning on Army OCS in about 4-5 years, right after college, so I'd like to find those people sooner rather than later, have my fun while I can.
     
    Ronzo likes this.
  16. The Big

    The Big

    Jun 24, 2020
    Very good point. Pretty much my thought process these past few months. Really working the Wooten, studying the greats. Not much of a flashy shredder, trying my luck with pure stability and funk-deity groove.

    When you get the chops, you can't blame your abilities. I imagine that'll be a weight off my shoulders. Awful long way to go, but I see the light.
     
    Bad Bob likes this.
  17. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    Yep. Kidding aside, find, join, or make a band that you want to be in. No need to dive into a band that isn't fun and/or isn't your job. It's as easy to find people you want to play with as people you don't.
     
    Ronzo, sacreddog717 and The Big like this.
  18. Esteban Garcia

    Esteban Garcia bassist, arranger, aelurophile Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2018
    Portland, OR
    You never want to be the best or most committed musician in the band. Keep looking for players at your level!

    PS also don't think you can "fix" somebody; just like in relationships, therein lies frustration.
     
    mstillman, Ronzo, Ellery and 6 others like this.
  19. The Big

    The Big

    Jun 24, 2020
    Yeah it sure does suck seeing what could be fixed, but not being able to do jack. They kept throwing straight 8th note pop songs at me anyway, so no loss.
     
    Ronzo likes this.
  20. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    Plenty of money to be made playing straight eighths. The trick is to do it with the right group of folks.
     
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

     
    Apr 14, 2021

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