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Band trouble vent

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Humblerumble, Mar 7, 2008.

  1. Humblerumble


    Feb 22, 2004
    Band has been together for five or six years. Formed from guys that played on church worship teams. Original idea to play "positive music" Christian or secular music that had a good positive message and was fun to play. Over the years we have added songs that were fun and just didn't have negative or "immoral" messages. About a year or so ago original singer quit and replaced him with a female. She is way more talented but can be very moody. Six months ago we added a keyboard player. Now we have went from SRV and that type of song to them (singer and kb) wanting to do pop music. Lead guitarist is a fusion jazz guy who loves the Rush stuff we do but wants to puke when we do pop stuff. He does the pop stuff but I know he is not enjoying it, just taking one for the team. Singer will refuse to sing or veto songs she doesn't like, sometime without even hearing them :rolleyes: She has told me "I listened to the first two lines and knew I hated it". But she will ramrod the pop stuff down our throats. It has gotten to the point she and the KB and lead guitarist are all about to quit. We are giving it a six week break before our next booked gig to cool down things. I have a couple of other side projects I am going to dabble in. How do you guys find gigs and bands etc?
  2. For finding bands/muso's, I just seek out free, local musician resources on the internet then bomb them with specific, targeted ads seeking the situation I am after week in and out until I find it.
  3. Humblerumble


    Feb 22, 2004
    A couple of band members emailed the group trying to patch things up but several others have been mute. I am checking out some of the online things you guys mentioned, thanks for the input. If things don't pan out I may put a Craig's List ad in and see what happens.
  4. Sounds like it's just a matter of band members having different musical interests. Might be time to find others who share your own interests more closely.
  5. one of the bands i used to play with also went through a similar time....basically i just feel one should discuss, debate and agree on the band's non-musical dynamics like the musical direction and the average time put in before inducting new members into a band
  6. notenslaved

    notenslaved I survived the 80's only to see it return.

    Feb 13, 2008
    Connecticut, USA
    I've had pretty good luck on MySpace classifieds (myspace.com) and Craig's List (craigslist.com) for finding projects, give them a shot. You might have to sort through a few pieces of coal to find a diamond (just like any other method), but it beats a piece of paper on the music store bulletin board by a mile as bands/projects often have something online you can check out.
  7. txbasschik


    Nov 11, 2005
    Leander, Texas
    Clearly, the Singer wants to remake the band according to her own vision. Does the KB like her material? She is clearly unwilling to compromise, as well. She only wants to do what she wants to do. You might suggest to her that she form her own pop group, that you are not interested in playing pop, and that you are leaving the group.

    She's a diva. She's not going to change. She is taking what *should* be a good thing and making it stink for you. My singer is difficult and moody, and we only do songs she likes, but, thank God, at least I like most of what she wants to do. She's a freakin' diva, too, but not as big a one as the woman you've got there trying to take everything over.

    Put an ad on Craig's List, MySpace, the local paper...wherever you can. Think carefully about what you are looking for, and convey that in the most succinct, professional language possible. If you don't feel totally comfortable with potential members, don't make them members.

    Also, attend local jams. You can make so many contacts that way, and develop colleague relationships that can bloom into something more permanent. I've had so many offers from people I jam with on Wednesday night. Its a really good thing to do for yourself.

    Best luck! There's no changing a diva. You have to either take her ridiculousness, or leave her.

    Cherie :bassist:
  8. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    speaking of Divas, Cherie...what's up with yours? :help:
  9. Humblerumble


    Feb 22, 2004
    More good suggestions! Never thought about the My Space thing at 43 I felt like an old dude at the college frat party ;)

    txbasschik, I am thinking along the same lines as you are on the diva thing. I actually formed the group so if anyone is leaving it ain't me ;) Actually it might disintegrate but I'm not going anywhere. I know if I said I was leaving that the drummer and one guitarist would come with me. The other guitarist would either quit or come with me as well. I have a good friend that is a talented singer and KB player that could fill both their spots. There are several open mike type of jams in the area that I have been pondering so I might just try that as well.
  10. Mr. Rumble,

    I think TxBassChick really has some good advice here. As an alternative, I suggest forming a "side project" in the mold that you want. That way you have time to possibly allow the situation in your main band play out, while still forming the band that you want. Your side project will have the time to form and start rehearsing while the main project naturally disintegrates. Perhaps (obviously your judgment is best) a redefining of your expectations will help. Just move your "passion" to another project.

    I am involved with two projects. One a jazz combo interested in original and progressive music. The other is a beer band- just covers. I have different expectations of personality, musicianship, and overall seriousness with the bands. The only problem is time. Having a family, career, and two bands is a bit much.
  11. txbasschik


    Nov 11, 2005
    Leander, Texas
    Enh...mas-y-meno. Drummer has been keeping her in line pretty well. No more temper tantrums allowed, period, ever. Its good to have an ally!

    They still won't let me sing leads, but that's fine. I have a list of five songs I'm learning to sing and play at the Wednesday jam, plus the one I already do. I get a *lot* of comments from fans about how they'd like to hear me sing more often. How it would be a welcome contrast to her vocals.

    So...if I can't give it to 'em in the band, I'll give it to 'em at the jam. I do tell them to please let the singer and drummer know that they would like me to sing some leads. Fan pressure...they won't be able to resist for long. ;)

    I'm caring for my ill/elderly mom now, so a 2nd project would likely be too much. And, all my "2nd projects" are in much the same position as I am...main projects very busy, family demands very heavy.

    So...the jam is the 2nd project. Works pretty well! :hyper:

    Thanks for asking, hon!

    Cherie :bassist:
  12. txbasschik


    Nov 11, 2005
    Leander, Texas
    MySpace is definitely not just for the kids. I have met *many* musicians our age in there (I'm 45), and its a great way to network. I've gotten several offers for bass positions in bands via MySpace. (Couldn't take any...all touring groups...but it was nice to be asked.:hyper:)

    Well...if you formed the band...then, honey, that's your mule team to drive, not hers. Tell the singer so. KB, too, if he prefers the pop thing. Do it in full band meeting, so that all members hear it at the same time, and there can be no gossip or backbiting. Tell them that you never intended for this to be a pop group, and that if they prefer to do that, they need to seek players who want the same. Give them a set list the rest of the band likes. They can make their own choices. If they choose to leave, you've got a replacement/replacements.

    Voila! Or, to quote Emeril...


    Cherie ;)
  13. Humblerumble


    Feb 22, 2004
    Thanks for the input. Greggbummer I am actually cooking another side project or two up. The drummer, one guitarist and myself have started a jazz trio sort of thing and had our first practice last night. It was fun with no egos( gonna be a while on that one as I have never played jazz before though :smug:) Also going to do a festival with the drummer and a couple of other guys I know, (the possible replacements for Band 1)

    txbasschick - I hear you on the mule team comment. I tend to kill a fly with a sledgehammer so I am trying to think things through before I act. She is our second singer, much more talented than the first but more diva-ish as well. Actually he was a dude but you get the point :D She can actually be a nice person but she is stubborn and wants it her way and that is probably the reason she wasn't in a band when she came to join us. The rest of the band wants to take a break and get back together in mid april before our next gig and then discuss it where I'd rather do it now. We have gigs in april and may and if someones going to quit then times a waisting to get in replacements and get things up to snuff.
  14. txbasschik


    Nov 11, 2005
    Leander, Texas
    With gigs coming up in a month, I would think it would be best to let the singer know the direction you want your band to take, and let her decide if she's gonna stay or go. Give her a time limit...say, a week or two...to decide. Be looking for another singer in that time. This young woman needs to be reminded that it ain't her band, and she can't determine the direction it should take.

    Maybe give her a compromise...she can do some of the songs she likes, but she'll have to do some the rest of the band likes, too. She can fish, or she can cut bait.

    Our singer let us know, in no uncertain terms, that this is her band, and it will take the direction she wants it to, and if we don't like it, we can go elsewhere. (Well...*I* can...she won't let her hubby have another band without her...we tried that already.) I'm ok with that, since I have other outlets for my musical tastes. Perhaps your singer needs to start going to jams and find someone who will satisfy her musical needs, too. It would be an eye-opener for her, I expect. (She might realize that the world does not revolve around her, for instance. LOL!) :D

    Cherie :bassist:
  15. BandMix - it's where I met the guys I occasionally play music with.

    Good luck.
  16. rhythmripple


    Apr 4, 2008
    Roanoke VA
    Hey Humble Rumble,

    I live in Roanoke, a believer and want to play anything.
    I play guitar, but my strongest point is probably singing. I'm jamming with a couple of cool guys. Been checking you out on bandmix, but didn't want to pay the money again to contact folks.
    I play and sing at church, but I want to do other stuff too.
    We sure could use a good bass player.
    Give me a shout, as I don't know how to contact you.
  17. Deacon_Blues


    Feb 11, 2007
    Without having read all responses, here's my two cents:

    Singers might often be considered "divas", because of one simple thing: They're fronting the band and they know most of the attention will be on them. There's songs they feel comfortable singing and there's songs they're not comfortable singing - both in a technical and an emotional sense. It is for me, as a singer, important that I feel good singing the songs I do, to feel I can give at least an acceptable performance. 90 % of the eyes in the audience will be on me anyway. I can get away with playing a poor bass line, but I can't get away with a bad vocal performance. The audience will notice. However, I try to separate what I personally like and what I think I can sing well, at least to a certain extent.

    I think your new singer should at least try to be a little more flexible. She, and the keyboardist were not hired to change the band, but to complement it, right? I don't understand why they joined the band if they are not happy with the music you are playing. Let them form an own pop band if they like, but don't change your repertoire too much because of them. It might be that your fans wouldn't be too happy about it...
  18. Humblerumble


    Feb 22, 2004
    Well the band is "breaking up" in that the singer and keyboard player are leaving. Maybe one of the guitar players as well not sure about him though. We have one festival gig we play the first of May and then we are done. I have been working on another project with a talented singer/keyboard player and have offered him the singer and keyboard slot in the band so we'll see what happens. :) In the side project is a smoking guitar player as well so I think it could work out great.

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