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Bandmember Blowouts, Ultimatums...

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Chad Michael, Feb 11, 2003.

  1. So we've been gigging steady and things are going as good as they possibly can. Website, new 'NRG' banner, tight chops, compliments from musicians, clubowners, and the general public, hi-visibility gigs, local gigs, etc. I'm loving life.

    So last weekend we are in the middle of a set and drummer reads that bandmember A wants to start the next song.. so drums start...(false start cuz me and bandmember B aren't ready). So bandmember A starts bitching out drummer like a condescending parent talks to a 3-year old (I wouldn't even talk to my dog like that). Ruins the whole evening. Every bandmember is maximum pissed for the rest of the night. The bandmember A says "That's it, I can't work with that guy anymore". Wait a minute here....The mistake was NOT a big deal, but talking to a bandmember (or anyone) like that is out-of line. And I proceeded to let him know after everyone 'cooled off'. I then proceeded to tell each bandmember how I truthfully felt, and that I am going to continue to be a bassplayer in a working band... Preferrably one without bandmembers who blow up, or those who give band-breaking ultimatums.

    What is with musicians anyway? Why take a good thing and destroy it? I guess bands don't last forever.... just sucks that such a good band has to "divorce and remarry" over trivial crap. Everyone committed to what's booked (almost every weekend into April) but after that who knows.

    Is this something that I could have seen / avoided from square one?:confused:
  2. TxBass


    Jul 3, 2002
    Frisco, Texas
    wonder if after two weeks of gigging together things won't "heal up" a bit and be forgotten?
    Seems like bands are just like any other relationship, ups and downs, "he said/she said" stuff and usually we blow stuff out of proportion in our own minds a bit too.
    I keep waiting for issues to boil over with my group, but somehow each week we leave rehearsal/gigs in a positive way...even though we don't always agree about some of the way the music is going or where the band is going.

    Hope it all works out cause it sounds like it's a great gig to be in---maybe the others will figure that out like you have!
  3. Yeah, don't forget too man, that a lot of successful bands replace members all the time and stay successful--or even become more successful. So it's not necessarily a bad thing to break up or replace a member or two, even if things are going well for you now.
  4. TxBass - szvonek...

    Thanks for the insight:) I needed that.
    I will put some serious thought into your viewpoints.

  5. Mike N

    Mike N Missing the old TB Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2001
    Spencerport, New York
    Imo a bandmember shouldnt blow up at another bandmember on stage/at a gig for something that minor. Bring it up after the show or at practice. That sounds like a perfect way to kill everyone's mood, and imo/ime the audience can tell when the band is into it or if theyre not into it.

    I once witnessed a very similar situation......the singer freaked out at the drummer for messing up during a song. It was really minor, and Im sure that 99% of the crowd never noticed, but the singer did, and he ripped the drummer a new youknowwhat between songs, right on stage. Had I been the drummer, I would have shoved the drumsticks up the singer's youknowwhat, right on stage.
  6. rllefebv


    Oct 17, 2000
    Newberg, Oregon
    I'm of a mindset that mistakes will definitely happen during live music... To me, it's not about being perfect and totally avoiding mistakes, but more about coping with them when they do occur, especially in the midst of a song. Going in knowing that mistakes will happen makes it much easier to deal with. In live situations, (IME), the crowd wants you to succeed, but also to appear human... Huge miscues can actually be turned into a 'bonding' experience with the crowd... "Hey, we're having such a good time, we decided to start this song twice!"... Squabbles onstage are just bad form and a sign of an insecure performer...


  7. Thanks, to all of you for the advice and insight. Here's the latest...

    So last night, we played a local club and opened for a ZZ Top tribute band. As we setup and played, all our bandmembers got along, we played well, the club was really nice, the club owner loved us, scored a double weekend there (likely Apr. 12 / 19), a lady approaches & wants to hire us for a lake cruise gig (this summer, for a reunion for fat chedda). Playing on a lake cruiser with 200-600 people is a blast.

    The 'bandmember' decided that "What we have going 'tis too good to just toss it away. Maybe I should mellow out a bit..." Amen.;)

    Thanks again, good times and good gigs to you all.:)

  8. TxBass


    Jul 3, 2002
    Frisco, Texas
    good deal! I guess cooler heads prevail...
    I think Robert's post is sooo right on with regards to these types of situations. I've been to/played in several gigs where the lead singer forgot a line and just gave that :rolleyes: look. And everybody laughed and went on...
  9. secretdonkey


    Oct 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    Glad to hear things are back on track. Congrats on the new opportunities - happened at a perfect time to help mend the wounds, too. :)

    Why does it seem that drummers tend to catch more than their fair share of BS from bandmates/band leaders??? :rolleyes:
  10. TxBass


    Jul 3, 2002
    Frisco, Texas
    because they (drummers) "accidently" throw those sticks at us! kidding of course, our drummer is cool and doesn't even mind playing quietly when needed;)