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Bands that form because friends want to play together but nobody agrees on anything....

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by BigBasserino, Nov 15, 2017.

  1. It's kindle waiting to grow a fire

    31 vote(s)
  2. It's a good opportunity

    8 vote(s)
  1. BigBasserino


    Apr 30, 2017
    But don't agree on what they want to play or don't share a unanimous goal.

    Does it matter or is it a sign to stop while you're ahead? Or is it a sign of great things that can come?

    My history says it's the former.

    Just wanted to make a quickie.
  2. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    Whatever you do, don't be the first to grab the leadership horns. No good can come of that.
    JMacBass65 and EddiePlaysBass like this.
  3. BigBasserino


    Apr 30, 2017
    I thought it was first one to generate an opinion did that? Lol.
    JMacBass65, pcake and DirtDog like this.
  4. RustyAxe


    Jul 8, 2008
    Unless there's some sort of meeting of the minds things can either continue the way the are now indefinitely, or eventually one of more members will wander off to find their greener pastures. Neither is necessarily a bad thing ... it's all a sort of experience, and not knowing your musical background I can only say you may or may not care to deal with it. Nothing good ever came from an acid-rock, reggae, country jazz fusion band. Ever. ;)
  5. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    It it a band, or a group of friends making noise/music together? You gotta decide which take priority.
    Groove Doctor and sevenyearsdown like this.
  6. BigBasserino


    Apr 30, 2017
    That's kind of the way it's seemed to be. I'm not sure if it's the people I end up playing with, but I've spent plenty of time trying to work with guys where it's kind of a storm of characters. There's always bands where the lineup has like one guy who's super-talented and yet withdrawn, along with another guy who thinks he's a mastermind but he lacks the talent, or the guys that "just want to play" but don't think about the future, the guy that "was on the cusp of getting signed" but seems to have no connections despite naming everyone else in his field of interest, etc because there's a million examples. Kind of reminds me of my old man's "nobody wants to play rhythm guitar behind Jesus" saying. I'm usually the "there can always be more" guy, which I'm sure I'm able to wear people down. Thing is about all this is, it makes you think, what's the average life-span of a crack crew of musicians going to be? Especially because all the character types are motivated by different aspects of "playing in a band." Kind of reminds me of the "old dudes trying to get signed" thread.

    Lol, the thing about the acid-rock-reggae-country-jazz band is at least there's something common: guitar.

    I mean as far as genre is concerned, I've done a ska band and several different rock/punk/metal groups that have never worked out long term despite investing in recording/rehearsal spaces etc. Most people that play music seem to want to play "the songs that inspired them as a child", but let's face it, there's one Metallica, and those that simply sound like them are just that. In whatever genre I'm playing I kind of think from an underground mentality of "what's the way to separate this band from the other half dozen bands that could be on the same bill as us?" But that perspective hasn't been shared by other people I've worked with; they've sort of just plotted along with "get good" and "when we're ready we'll be ready".

    Who knows, I could always be the problem in my own equation, now I'm analyzing this.
    No band, all hypothetical. Trying to figure out how not to repeat the same mistakes.
  7. Stumbo

    Stumbo Guest

    Feb 11, 2008
    Check out the link in my sig. for some good band management links.
    BigBasserino likes this.
  8. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    I based my post partly on the title. A band should be based upon whatever the common goal is - playing gigs, writing good songs. Friendship means nothing - you find musicians who can get along and work together. If it is just a group of friends getting together to have a beer and make noise, don't get too concerned over a lack of progress.
    Stumbo likes this.
  9. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    I have 10 or 11 good friends who also play an instrument. I can work with exactly one of them. And he happens to be my best friend ever. But we can say ANYTHING to each other. We used to trim each others' necks when we cut our own hair on the road. We've been through everything together. It's THAT kind of friendship. Like, I can literally tell him "Those jeans make you look fat". :wacky:

    Another of my oldest and dearest friends comes over for a barbecue with his wife and kids about ten times a year. I have only one rule for his visit. He can't ask me to join or start a band with him. We don't work well together. But we have a blast in my back yard.

    Keeping a band together under the best of circumstances is tough. Keeping a friendship together under the best of circumstances is tough. Don't mix them if you don't agree musically or have common goals.

    If you want, try a middle ground. Have a cookout once a month at a spot where you can jam. Set up a minimal PA and bring small amps and drum kits. Have a casual jam if you get around to it. See where it goes.
  10. Spidey2112


    Aug 3, 2016
    If 'Quickie' was a poll choice, I would have voted for it...
    JRA, JMacBass65, Helix and 1 other person like this.
  11. Jay Corwin

    Jay Corwin Supporting Member

    Jan 29, 2008
    Sanborn, NY
    This is the hammer hitting the nail right here.
    Gravedigger Dav likes this.
  12. Bunk McNulty

    Bunk McNulty It is not easy to do simple things correctly. Supporting Member

    Dec 11, 2012
    Northampton, MA
    As grandpappy always said: There are three things you can get out of a band: You can play with people you like, you can play music you like, and you can make money. Usually you get to pick two out of three. And if you're very lucky, like me, you can stumble into a situation where you get all of them. It has been my experience that nothing unites a band like a lot of paying work. When everyone realizes they've got a good thing, there may be a lot of good-natured disagreement, but not a lot of friction, if you know what I mean.
    NR_Paul, two fingers and aborgman like this.
  13. In my experience you can play with friends for fun -dont expect anything and it will workout alright.
    Now the guys i play with now who are real musicians for our bar band-are all pretty cool to play with. I wouldnt be going on long Anthony Bourdain trips with them or anything but they are cool for the music.
    So to recap this windy thread:
    Friends make good friends and Musicians make good musicians.
    Let's all head to the pub!
    catcauphonic likes this.
  14. This sounds like the right advice, to me.
  15. jive1

    jive1 Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    If the goal is to just jam and have fun, then it's no biggie. I can annoy my friends equally with or without an instrument. If I try to play Anthrax over them doing a 12 bar Blues, no harm, no foul.
    If the goal is to form a working band, then my friends better have similar goals and ability or I'll toss them out with slightly more emotional attachment than someone I met on Craigslist.
  16. bfields


    Apr 9, 2015
    Ann Arbor, MI
    What did Eugene Chadbourne ever do to you?
    RustyAxe and Honch like this.
  17. 3Liter


    Feb 26, 2015
    I joined a band that lacked direction and played guitar. Friday night jam thing, spun off a Friday night drink and hold guitar thing. They said they wanted to play out, so I pulled in more songs so we could play out. I whipped the mess of unexperienced guys into shape. After a while I got tired of it. There was such a lack of focus from the guys: one guy liked country, one liked edgier rock, (bassist and drummer were along for the ride)...neither were the best musicians. After awhile I just pulled out.

    My other project about the same time was a blues jam at my house. It's two hours every Monday. Informal, plan was to work on "blues skills". From the get go, it was set up, by me and another guy, with that goal in mind. Work on skills. We have about 40 songs that we play through. Done a couple of open mics for 30 minute blocks. I'd tighten it up more for on stage paying things, but there's little disagreement since we all know it was loose from the beginning and the point.

    My point is to know the players, their stated or assumed goals and your stated or assumed goals. There's a lot of people I'm OK to jam with, but if I was putting something together for an actual event, paid or unpaid, I wouldn't want them in it.
  18. tpaul

    tpaul Supporting Member

    Mar 19, 2011
    It's best if you all start out hating each other from day one. That way your expectations will be low and things can only improve.
  19. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Fort Worth, Texas
    Jimmy4string likes this.
  20. ^ Yeah that was the line of the day!
    Gravedigger Dav likes this.
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