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Bass FS Ads: "Only played at church services on Sunday"

Discussion in 'Basses [BG]' started by Wilbyman, May 12, 2006.

  1. Wilbyman


    Sep 10, 2003
    Parkersburg, WV
    So, it looks like this is getting to be the new bassgear.com equivalent of "Only driven to church by a little old lady on Sunday." I guess my question is...if it's a 9/10 or an "excellent condition, no scratches" does it really matter where an instrument was taken?

    Is it any less stress on an instrument to play church services than jazz gigs? I never see anybody commenting that they only play Kenny G style smooth gigs and, therefore, "this instrument is immaculate."

    Even if you play rock/bar gigs...if you take your belt off and stay behind the chicken wire, I don't see why your instrument would be particularly abused.

    Is "only played at church" some code Christian buyers and sellers are using? (Kind of the "fish drawn in the sand" type sign).

    I also see this used in ads for speaker cabs...I know some churches hold 5-10,000 people! Theoretically, cabs would get MORE stress at a church like this than a small club.
  2. diptixon


    Oct 29, 2004
    LOL... that's a good one. Maybe the thought is that these basses have been blessed in some extra way because they were use for God-approved riffing...
  3. Hawkeye

    Hawkeye Canuck Amateur

    There aren't a whole lot of 10,000 seat churches around North America. I think what that kind of description means is that it has been lightly used and not abused. There are VERY few situations where a contemporary gospel rock or gospel urban/funk bassist is playing at concert levels in a church.

    In the case of my rig which I just leave at church full time, it also could infer that it hasn't been moved around (fallen out of trucks) a lot.

    However, this would refer more to amps than instruments. With guitars it could also mean that the bass has not seen a lot of time banging into things while the musician was hopping madly around the stage.

    In the case of the last used car I bought for my wife it literally was owned by a little old lady to go to church (her 80 yr old spinster aunt).
  4. Wilbyman


    Sep 10, 2003
    Parkersburg, WV
    I tend to agree, and maybe the impetus was/is the same with the "only driven to Church on Sunday".
  5. Dr. PhunkyPants

    Dr. PhunkyPants Guest

    Aug 11, 2002
    Everybody knows that tunes played in Church are most often within a selected range of semi tones universally acknowledged to conform to every bass's resonant frequency. Thus, church-based music is inherently less wearing on an instrument...
  6. bassmonkeee


    Sep 13, 2000
    Decatur, GA
    The only thing I get out of that is that it probably wasn't played in smoke filled clubs surrounded by drunks with beer.

    So, if it's a carpeted cab, that might be a selling point.

    But, that's about it.
  7. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz Supporting Member

    Mar 27, 2002
    The "only played in church" cracks me up, but not as much as "only played in my smoke free home studio".
  8. Maybe it's to imply that it's safe for a Christian since it never played the devil's music. With amps you could also assume a church doesn't allow smoking. Seems silly either way to me.
  9. Wilbyman


    Sep 10, 2003
    Parkersburg, WV
    Yup, this is the other one!!!!
  10. As a church player, who also uses my gear in clubs, I take it to mean:
    A - Not moved around alot
    B - Not pushed very hard, since the decibel level at most churches is kept pretty low
    C - Perhaps most importantly, not exposed to smoke, which does affect the the tone, appearance, and value of instruments, amplifiers, and speaker cabinets.

    I don't think there's any kind of implied holiness about the equipment, although some church players may not want to play a cab that was used by a Slayer tribute band due to a fear of demonic presence (seriously).

    My problem with those ads is this: "Prove it". Prove to me that it was only played in church or in your smoke free studio. You can't. I just have to trust you, and since I'm buying used gear from somebody I don't know, you better have references available, and you better believe I will check them out.
  11. barebones

    barebones Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2005
    Denver, CO
    How 'bout this:

    "...While this bass has several dings, scratches, dents, etc., they were acquired when the instrument was lovingly dropped on the pulpit of my smoke-free, non-devil-worshipping church, so..."

  12. :)

    I actually dropped my G&L on the stage at my church. The platform I was on rocked forward while I was stepping off it. Put a 1/2" deep, 1" long gouge in the lower bout, right near the jack. I cried for a week, but it happened in church.
  13. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz Supporting Member

    Mar 27, 2002
    While I could see smoke being a SMALL issue for a carpeted cab (but nothing a few shots of febreeze can't solve), I've never heard that smoke effects the tone of a bass. That's certainly a new on me. Sounds more like something put out there by the smoke nazis.
  14. barebones

    barebones Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2005
    Denver, CO

    A dent acquired in church is a blessed, holy (no pun intended) thing. Dents acquired in bars be damned!

  15. Funny thread Wil,

    I purposely DON'T leave my gear up at church. It' smuch safer for me to lug it around, and back and forth, rather than leave it at church, where the youth will think they are allowed to use/beat up/ and take for their own... my gear.

    So.. usually when I see that description I don't think anything. Other than maybe the seller is a Christian..or maybe he's just using Christianity to help him/her sell thier stuff. (yep.. people really do that!!)

    As for it being a secret code... nope. The secret code is really... (wait if I tell you, it won't be a secret!! ;) )
  16. treymonfauntre


    May 11, 2006

    i wish i could be in the shoes of whoever you ask for references on used gear. that would make my day.
  17. Matt Call

    Matt Call Supporting Member

    Aug 1, 2004
    Minneapolis, MN
    I think the "only played in church" usually does imply that the gear has been used; but not pushed to extremes. I mean, many churches have PA systems that push a lot of power. Basically, it's a way of saying "it's been used; but not to its full potential."

    On a side note, many church players don't consider Sunday morning services a "gig" per se. So it could also be a way of acknowledging that.
  18. barebones

    barebones Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2005
    Denver, CO

    DaVinci bass?

  19. "Only played in my smoke free home studio" IS a selling point, especially for amps, cabs, rack gear, mics, etc, IMO. A whole lot of wear and tear on gear comes from transport, not usage. So stuff that has sat still and not gigged often means a cleaner piece. For basses, though, this doesn't apply nearly as much as a lot of wear and tear on instruments is just from playing, and of course, getting it on and off your person.
  20. naja


    Oct 14, 2005
    East TN
    No, not really. Most large churchs keep stage volume very low and tap it through the PA. I've been playing churches for the last 8 years or so, and I've never really needed more than 20 - 30 watts. I currently use a 60 watt bassman, and have never had to turn it past 5. I use it only as a monitor, and I can see that as being a selling point if the amp stayed at the church without being moved. I say that because everytime I take my bassman on a gig I always end up knocking it on a doorframeor something. If that thing was made of glass I would have had to replace it so many times by now.... And some others have mentioned the smoke in bars and so forth. That may be a selling point to some.


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