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Bass Infractions - just a bit of fun

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by dmccombe7, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. Not sure if this originally came from TB as its in $ but thought i'd post anyway cause it made me laugh.
    Bass Infractions.
  2. BassCliff


    May 17, 2012
    So. Cal.

    "Missing root at end of blustering fill" is my signature lick! I guess I'm what you call a "repeat offender".

    Thank you for your indulgence,

    petrus61, Rebel Rocker, Bobro and 4 others like this.
  3. dbase

    dbase Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2008
    South Jersey, USA..
    "Farting while playing.. then turning to look glaringly at the drummer" Not on the list but I'm guilty as charged. ;)
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2018
    SBassman, Rebel Rocker, JRA and 4 others like this.
  4. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    fun(ny) stuff! :laugh:

    where do we go to pay our fines?
  5. McG

    McG Goat Hill Gamblers

    Oct 6, 2010
    Costa Mesa, CA
    Oh man, fined $350 AND dismissed. :rolleyes:
  6. Wisebass


    Jan 12, 2017
    Lost in Space
    Hi dmccombe7 :)

    $600 for bringing my mainplayer? :wideyed:

    I only hope the money will be used to buy beer!

    Drinking (during breaks, on stage, while jamming, before and after rehearsals...) is not on the list! :wacky:


    McG, dbase, JRA and 1 other person like this.
  7. micguy


    May 17, 2011
    I play in churches. I have no problem with someone cutting my pay in half. But start charging me for things; I’m not showing up.
    ak56 and dmccombe7 like this.
  8. Wasn't the hardest working man in show business, the late James Brown notorious for assessing fines against band members for any number of infractions. This was back in the 1960's and '70's.
    Miss a note or play the wrong one: $50
    Late to rehearsal: $250

    That sheet could have been composed with James in mind and insight from former band members.
    Wisebass, Mr_Moo, McG and 2 others like this.
  9. Russell L

    Russell L

    Mar 5, 2011
    Cayce, SC
    Buddy Rich was tough like that, too. And he was a Black Belt.
  10. saabfender

    saabfender Banned

    Jan 10, 2018
    “Failure to play written walking line”. $75 well-spent, if you ask me.
  11. Russell L

    Russell L

    Mar 5, 2011
    Cayce, SC
    No mention of nose picking or butt scratching, I see. That may apply more to guitarists, though.
  12. Missing a note or two because one of the buxom dancers on stage with you had a wardrobe malfunction and turn away from the crowd and faced you while trying to get her top back on. It's amazing seeing a DD size lady squeezing into a size C bra. Thank God for muscle memory because my conscious memory was extremely busy taking in the sights.

    $50 bonus for only missing two notes and remaining professional. Good thing my hands were busy on my bass.
    She was all smiles and I was blue in the...uh lets leave it at that
    dbase and dmccombe7 like this.
  13. Well.... on the bright side - I can do addition like a mofo!
  14. Chango Malo

    Chango Malo

    Apr 8, 2017
    i've seen this around online for years, anyone have a printable pdf?
  15. Afraid the pic i posted was the only one i've seen. Would be easy enough to type one up tourself tho.
    saabfender likes this.
  16. rjmsteel


    Jan 25, 2009
    Lake County, IL
    Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in one trip= DISMISSAL.... At least I think that`s (really) why I was sent packing a while back. Maybe it was overplaying too.;)
  17. The heavy amp thing should apply double to guitar players then. Especially ones with 100+ lb Fender Twins who don’t realize the volume knob goes DOWN also. (I’m not bitter. Really, I’m not):smug:
    dmccombe7 and rjmsteel like this.
  18. Wanker_Joe


    Sep 26, 2017
    Rough. About half this list is my schtick. I better make sure none of my bandmates see this thread...
    dmccombe7 likes this.


    Mar 29, 2006

    JAMES: "Shoes ain't shine...
    Fiddy dolla fine!!"

    "Shirt aint clean...
    Check gonna be lean!!"

    "Pants ain't press...
    Fiddy dolla less!!

    "Miss a step-

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