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Bass jokes...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by froglips, Mar 11, 2009.


  1. froglips

    froglips

    Feb 9, 2009
    Arizona
    A musician and a bass player walk into a bar.

    You know how to tell the difference between bass tunes?
    The song titles are different!

    These were actually Banjo player jokes converted to bass player jokes.:p
     
  2. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    I'm not even sure that counts as a joke (singular!)...:meh:
     
  3. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    I prefer to walk to 12 bars, then turn around and do it all over again.
     
  4. Frank Tuesday

    Frank Tuesday

    Jul 11, 2008
    Austin, TX
    What do you say to a drummer that knocks on your door?

    How much is the pizza?
     
  5. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    How do you get a drummer off of your front porch??

    Pay him for the Pizza.
     
  6. What has three legs and an a-hole on top of it?

    A drum-stool.
     
  7. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    How do you make the drummers car more aerodynamic??


    Take the Dominos Pizza sign off of the roof.
     
  8. tom e smith

    tom e smith

    Jan 27, 2008
    A guy walks into a bar and starts to tell a "drummer" joke. The bartender stops him and says "Before you go on, I think you should know...I am a drummer, the guy to the right of you is a drummer and the guy to the left of you is a drummer.....still want to tell your joke?"

    "Not if I have to explain it 3 times!"
     
  9. Q: What do you call a bass player who just broke up with his girlfriend?

    A: Homeless.

    (Good God, this hits home. I hope she doesn't ever leave me until I get another one lined up!)
     
  10. OK... A longer joke, but I like it:

    Two buddies decide to 'get away from it all' for a vacation. They make reservations at a small, private hotel on a small tropical island, and charter a small plane to get there.

    They arrive at the island and are stunned by the beauty of the place. However, there's a guy at the end of the runway just goin' absolutely crazy on some drums....

    ----"teTa-tuTa-TATATA!!!" -----


    He's goin' nuts! They guys think that it must be some sort of local welcoming ceremony or something.

    When they go to get their bags, there's the drummer going crazy still...

    -----"teTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA!!!!" -----

    "Wow!" says one of the guys. "It must be a festival or something."

    They get to the hotel, and there's the drummer behind the desk...

    -----"teTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA"teTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA!!!!"-----


    The other guy remarks "Eh.. OK.. I think I'm over the drums now."

    They get their room keys and head upstairs. There's the drummer at the end of the hall still going crazy on the drums...

    -----"teTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA"teTa-tuTa-TATATA-psst-teTa-ptssst-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATAteTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA-bopbopbopBopBopBOP-teTa-tuTa-TATATA"teTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA-BOPBOP-teTa-tuTa-TATATA!!!!" -----

    "Ok.. this is crazy," says one of the guys. "I'm heading downstairs to talk to the manager!" He promptly takes off to go downstairs.

    When he gets down there, the drummer's still goin' at it....

    -----"teTa-tuTa-ting-tuhtata-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA!!!" -----

    "Hey," the guy says to the manager. "These drums are starting to drive us nuts. When will they stop playing?" he tried to ask over the beating drums.

    -----"teTa-tuTa-TATATA-bumba-bumba-teTa-tuTa-TATATA!!!!"-----


    "Never," replied the manager.

    -----"teTa-tuTa-TATATA-ptsst-teTa-tuTa-TATATA!!!!" -----

    "Well, could you get them to stop just for a little while?"

    -----"teTa-tuTa-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA!!!!"-----


    "No," said the manager in broken English. "The drums must always go on!"


    -----"teTa-tuTa-ptsss-TATATA-teTa-tuTa-TATATA!!!!"-----


    "Couldn't you just get them to stop just for us?"

    -----"teTa-tuTa-boppa-bopppa-TATATA-tatuh-tatuh-teTa-tuTa-bopbopBopBopBOPBOP-TATATA!!!!" -----

    "Oh no!" said the manager. "Drums stop... it is very bad. Very, very bad!"


    -----"teTa-tuTa-boppa-bopppa-TATATA-tatuh-tatuh-teTa-tuTa-bopbopBopBopBOPBOP-TATATA!!!!" -----

    "Why?" asked the confused tourist. "What happens that's so bad when the drums stop?!?!?"

    -----"Tata-tata-bopbop-TATUH-TATUH!!!"-----


    "Bass solo!"

    -----"Badump.."-----
     
  11. tom e smith

    tom e smith

    Jan 27, 2008
    Very good
     
  12. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Supporting Member


    How could you tell it was a drummer when he knocked?

    He sped up.
     
  13. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Supporting Member

    How do you get a lead guitarist to turn down?

    Put some sheet music in front of him.
     

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