Bass quotes...

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Lazy B., Feb 5, 2004.

  1. "The bass: easy to learn, but difficult to master".

    Send in your favourite quotes on bass guitars and bass players!
  2. Best bass quote EVER:
    "Every time I see a fine lady shaking her rump to the band, I know I am doing my job. I like to pretend that my bass is a remote control for the booty. Oh yeah, the bass is in control of the bottom."
    - Talkbass's own Jive1 (this became his sig due to popular demand)

    Ok. Swearing cut.
  3. aneurysm


    Feb 3, 2004
    "Bass players do it deeper" (bumper sticker I have)

    "Bass players get you off with two fingers (and a thumb)" (same)
  4. bass - b = ass

    Coincidence? I think not.
  5. Ohhhh yeaaaa.
  6. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    Thanks, made my day
  7. Electricmayhem


    Dec 18, 2003
    For now I'll agree! :D
  8. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    "A chimpanzee could learn to do what I do physically. But it goes way beyond that. When you play, you play life." - Jaco

    "If you can't laugh at your basslines, you're being too serious" - P'Nut

    "Don't fake the funk." - Kai Eckhardt
  9. BillOnBass


    Dec 30, 2003
    Las Vegas NV
    "It's just a bunch of squeeking and making noise until the bass joins in, then it turns to music." BillOnBass
  10. "G-strings are for strippers" (Tony Levin)
  11. Subculture13

    Subculture13 Jamming Econo

    Apr 9, 2003
    Toronto, Ont. Canada
    That's me for sure. I never use my G, I hate the sound of it, too thin. I'd take it off if I didn't need it for neck stability.
  12. Subculture13

    Subculture13 Jamming Econo

    Apr 9, 2003
    Toronto, Ont. Canada
    I can't remember who said it, but it was... "If you make a mistake, do it again."

    Great advice.
  13. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    Actually, off topic, I'm going to do what Tim C from RATM/Audioslave does with my Yamaha. Get a set of 5 string bass strings and put them on my four. Just leave off the G.

    Oh and I'm sick and tired of these lame bass ""'s...

    Not funny sexual inuendos = not funny.
  14. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    I believe that Brendan from talk bass plays a BEAD tuned four string also. You might check with him for advice - I think you'll need to tweak a truss rod to keep proper neck tension.
    (but you probably knew that ;) )
  15. "There's very little money above the 7th fret"

    ... or something like that... I probably butchered the quote.
  16. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    I was going to post a similar quote - I heard it as "There is no money above the fifth fret"

    (Quoted from my first beginers' bass book - I'm forgetting the author(s) at the moment - I'll edit to give credit although he said it was "an old bass players quote/joke")

    Edit - my quote is from "Ultimate Beginning Series Bass Basics Steps One and Two Combined (The Ultimate Beginner Series)"
    Dale Titus / Albert Nigro
  17. bggeezer

    bggeezer Guest

    May 25, 2001
    "Turn the Bass down"

    "F*&^ Off" :spit:
  18. kirbywrx

    kirbywrx formerly James Hetfield

    Jul 27, 2000
    Melbourne, Australia.
    Some TB member once made a thread called:


    I wet myself :D
  19. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    I hope I probably knew that! :eek: :D
  20. Brendan

    Brendan Supporting Member

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    *sniff* you love, me, you really love me!

    ...okay, so you might occasionally not have homicidal impulses towards me, but I'll take what I can get.

    (Actually, I do, and I've been hit up by more than a few people about said subject. Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, being the go-to guy for something other than spitoon duty. I call it a 4.5 string bass)