1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

Bass quotes...

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Lazy B., Feb 5, 2004.

  1. "The bass: easy to learn, but difficult to master".

    Send in your favourite quotes on bass guitars and bass players!
  2. Best bass quote EVER:
    "Every time I see a fine lady shaking her rump to the band, I know I am doing my job. I like to pretend that my bass is a remote control for the booty. Oh yeah, the bass is in control of the bottom."
    - Talkbass's own Jive1 (this became his sig due to popular demand)

    Ok. Swearing cut.
  3. aneurysm


    Feb 3, 2004
    "Bass players do it deeper" (bumper sticker I have)

    "Bass players get you off with two fingers (and a thumb)" (same)
  4. bass - b = ass

    Coincidence? I think not.
  5. Ohhhh yeaaaa.
  6. jive1

    jive1 Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    Thanks, made my day
  7. Electricmayhem


    Dec 18, 2003
    For now I'll agree! :D
  8. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    "A chimpanzee could learn to do what I do physically. But it goes way beyond that. When you play, you play life." - Jaco

    "If you can't laugh at your basslines, you're being too serious" - P'Nut

    "Don't fake the funk." - Kai Eckhardt
  9. BillOnBass


    Dec 30, 2003
    Las Vegas NV
    "It's just a bunch of squeeking and making noise until the bass joins in, then it turns to music." BillOnBass
  10. "G-strings are for strippers" (Tony Levin)
  11. Subculture13

    Subculture13 Jamming Econo

    Apr 9, 2003
    Toronto, Ont. Canada
    That's me for sure. I never use my G, I hate the sound of it, too thin. I'd take it off if I didn't need it for neck stability.
  12. Subculture13

    Subculture13 Jamming Econo

    Apr 9, 2003
    Toronto, Ont. Canada
    I can't remember who said it, but it was... "If you make a mistake, do it again."

    Great advice.
  13. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    Actually, off topic, I'm going to do what Tim C from RATM/Audioslave does with my Yamaha. Get a set of 5 string bass strings and put them on my four. Just leave off the G.

    Oh and I'm sick and tired of these lame bass ""'s...

    Not funny sexual inuendos = not funny.
  14. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    I believe that Brendan from talk bass plays a BEAD tuned four string also. You might check with him for advice - I think you'll need to tweak a truss rod to keep proper neck tension.
    (but you probably knew that ;) )
  15. "There's very little money above the 7th fret"

    ... or something like that... I probably butchered the quote.
  16. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    I was going to post a similar quote - I heard it as "There is no money above the fifth fret"

    (Quoted from my first beginers' bass book - I'm forgetting the author(s) at the moment - I'll edit to give credit although he said it was "an old bass players quote/joke")

    Edit - my quote is from "Ultimate Beginning Series Bass Basics Steps One and Two Combined (The Ultimate Beginner Series)"
    Dale Titus / Albert Nigro
  17. bggeezer

    bggeezer Guest

    May 25, 2001
    "Turn the Bass down"

    "F*&^ Off" :spit:
  18. kirbywrx

    kirbywrx formerly James Hetfield

    Jul 27, 2000
    Melbourne, Australia.
    Some TB member once made a thread called:


    I wet myself :D
  19. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    I hope I probably knew that! :eek: :D
  20. Brendan

    Brendan Supporting Member

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    *sniff* you love, me, you really love me!

    ...okay, so you might occasionally not have homicidal impulses towards me, but I'll take what I can get.

    (Actually, I do, and I've been hit up by more than a few people about said subject. Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, being the go-to guy for something other than spitoon duty. I call it a 4.5 string bass)

Share This Page