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Bass Solos VS "My Heart Will Go On"

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by FunkMachine, Jul 13, 2004.

  1. FunkMachine


    Jul 13, 2004
    This happened about about 3 years ago. I'll try to explain it as I can.

    I was bassist for Fighting Chance, my first ever band. We had been together for 4 months, and had been asked to play in our school's Musical Evening. It was our first gig.
    We were the only non - classical or jazz act of the night, we intended to play a rock original called "Impossible Pursuit".

    Anyway, the day before the show, we didn't get our soundcheck, but we were assured by the sound tech, Mr Patel, that everything would be fine and the levels would be set, as all of the instruments were going to be DI'd right into the PA system. (Being the inexperienced bunch of fools we were, this wasnt hard to believe, and we didnt complain, we even thought that not having to soundcheck was convinient!).

    Surely enough, when it came time for us to play, things went wrong.

    After the act before us finished, the curtains on stage closed, and we quickly rushed on... All wearing suits, and ready to rock the house.
    The curtains opened and we recieved a warm round of applause, followed by an ensemble of anticipating eyes.

    Our lead guitarist struck a chord. But no sound was heard out of the PA system. We were giving each other puzzled looks.. Ofcourse he checked volume knob, etc, Still no sound. Rhythm guitarist tried a chord, no sound came out of his guitar either. Same with my bass.
    So we stood there on stage, like lemons, now giving each other the "what the hell are we going to do?" look.

    Eventually our lead guitarist had the guts to turn to the audience and say...."Um...technical problem"

    This was met by a few chuckles from the audience. We stood there on stage, waiting for the sound guy to fix the problem. Then suddenly, the curtains closed, right infront of us. They closed, right infront of our damn faces! The last thing we heard was a roar of laughter from the audience who must have been enjoying our humiliation.

    But it doesnt end there.... The sound guy rushed back stage, explained the problem to our ignorant asses and then rushed off again, claiming he was going to fix the problem.

    Meanwhile, the organisers of the show, told Julie (a lovely young pianist & vocalist who was also performing that night) to go out and play the piano infront of the stage, to stall some time. She sat down at the piano and began to play & sing "My heart will go on" by Celine Dion.

    Me and the rest of the band were still waiting behind the curtains, waiting to be told that the sound had come on and that we could get ready to play.

    Being bored, nervous and anxious to play, and sure that no sound was coming out of the PA system, i began to play a bass slap solo. I got carried away and was really going for it.
    Unknown to me at the time, the PA system had been turned on.... but since it was infront of the stage and facing away, there was no way I could hear that it was actually on.

    I began to wonder, why I heard the crowd laughing..I mean, what is so funny about a girl playing "My Heart Will Go On" ?
    Well I guess it becomes humerous when it has a stupid slap solo drowning it out.

    When she finished her piece, she stormed off, and the curtains opened for us. The crowd laughed and clapped at the same time..

    I only found out after our performance that I had ****ed over this girl by playing my slap solo on my bass, which I thought couldnt be heard.

    So many morales in this story. Atleast I'll never forget my first gig.

    I know this had been long winded, thanks to anyone who reads it, and i hope you found my misfortune funny
  2. Wow, that must have been embarassing. Still, good job!
  3. Whafrodamus


    Oct 29, 2003
    Andover, MA
    You lucky your sound people know what their doing. At my high school, the staff (they're employed adults), as well as the trainee's don't know a mixing board from a cutting board. They don't know how to do levels at all, and they always turn down the bass because it's "unimportant".. When they do that, I just blast my volume on the stage to compensate. (it works)
  4. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.
    There's a great story about Barrett Deems (drummer) playing some rich guy's son's Bar Mitzvah for stupid money. It's in a big hall so the whole band (big band) is all mic'ed up. They ask for a drum roll to make some announcement and when Barrett turns around kinda quick to do that he knocks his bass drum pedal off. So he does the drum roll and crash and kneels down to fix his pedal. The drum roll was to announce the rabbi leading a prayer and, forgetting that his drums are mic'ed, Barrett says "F**king drum roll, why do I take these god**mn gigs...."

    Which of course was amplified through his bass drum mic...
  5. BassGod


    Jan 21, 2004
    Bwahaha! :D Oh man, that was a good story. :hyper:

  6. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    It doesnt sound like the guy knew what he was doing.
  7. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    If it makes you feel any better, you "ruined" a Celine Dion song.
  8. Whafrodamus


    Oct 29, 2003
    Andover, MA
    He knew what he was doing, he just didn't know when to do it :D .
  9. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Hilarious. :D
  10. Juneau


    Jul 15, 2004
    Dallas, TX.
    Thanks for the stories, brightened my day hehe. At least I know my first gig could likely not get much worse than that hehe.
  11. Ed that made my day.
  12. I can remember two hilarious episodes of when I first started playing.

    The first was at a school concert and we were playing on the same stage which was also used, prior to us coming on for the reciting of a play.

    As soon as the curtain open, the drummer starts to give a 4 count, the keyboardist takes a step back and disappears. He basically walked back into an open trapdoor on the stage and fell beneath the stage. That was funny, but when he started climbing back out of it the crowd were in tears.

    On a separate incident, I once accompanied a drummer friend of mine to play in a church. The service was being held for a congregation of deaf people and apparently these could hear/feel the vibrations made by the drums. The funniest moment was when my drummer friend started to play at a dignified volume but the priest told him to bang the drums harder. Picture this - a lone drummer, hitting the toms and cymbals as hard as he could, in a church - no music!!!!