Psst... Ready to join TalkBass and start posting, make new friends, sell your gear, and more?  Register your free account in 30 seconds.

Bass Violation Sheet

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by BassyBill, Nov 21, 2005.


  1. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    Forgive me if this has been posted before. I just found it lurking on my hard drive and it brought a smile to my face so I thought I'd share it.

    Bass Violation Sheet__________

    Player__________
    Date of Offence__________


    UPRIGHT PLAYERS
    [ ] Showing up before first downbeat £25
    [ ] Playing audibly £25
    [ ] Faking changes £25
    [ ] Slapping £150
    [ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass £25
    [ ] Excessive sweating £25
    [ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo £50
    [ ] Asking leader for a solo £30
    [ ] Accepting solo when offered £50
    [ ] Taking second chorus £100
    [ ] Playing solo arco £400
    [ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune £100
    [ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune £200
    [ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune £500

    ELECTRIC PLAYERS
    [ ] Checking hair between tunes £15
    [ ] Experimenting with odd meters £25
    [ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill £25
    [ ] Playing with a pick £50
    [ ] Tuning during ballad £30
    [ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba £75
    [ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad £150
    [ ] Attempting last word on final chord £50
    [ ] Achieving last word on final chord £100
    [ ] Long gliss down to final note £200

    EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
    [ ] Forgetting strap £10
    [ ] Changing strings after every set £15
    [ ] Using electric tuner £15
    [ ] Setting up mic "just in case" £75
    [ ] Forgetting to turn amp on £40
    [ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry £50
    [ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp £25
    [ ] Bringing custom-made bass £100 per string above 4
    [ ] Bringing more than 1 bass £100 per extra bass
    [ ] Skull decals on bass £150
    [ ] Bringing fretless bass £500

    MUSICAL OFFENCES
    [ ] Playing loudly during warm up £10
    [ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping £25
    [ ] Loud cursing after mistake £10
    [ ] Playing high and fast after mistake £20
    [ ] Practising 2-handed tapping between tunes £20
    [ ] Asking for "E" tuning note £25
    [ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb £50
    [ ] Playing eighth notes £5 each
    [ ] Playing sixteenth notes £10 each
    [ ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
    [ ] Dragging fast tempo £75
    [ ] Dragging ballad tempo £100
    [ ] Blacking out during ballad £200
    [ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo £100
    [ ] Following drummer's tempo £250

    MUSIC READING
    [ ] Playing written-out walking line £50
    [ ] Failure to play written walking line £75
    [ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes £50
    [ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures £50

    BASIC STUPIDITY
    [ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt £10
    [ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt £20
    [ ] Asking when the rock set starts £2
    [ ] Continually asking "where are we?" £25
    [ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" £25
    [ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's £100

    CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
    [ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get £10
    [ ] Asking bone player about their day gig £10
    [ ] Sitting behind drums on break £10
    [ ] Quoting "Birdland" £25
    [ ] Practising scales during break £25
     
  2. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    It gets posted about once every six months, but a refresher never hurts. Also, this may be the first time it's been posted in those funky British dollars. I don't think you'll take much heat over it.
     
  3. ladros2

    ladros2

    Jun 2, 2005
    Ireland
    Bass Violation Sheet__________

    Player_____Phil_____
    Date of Offence__________

    UPRIGHT PLAYERS
    [ ] Showing up before first downbeat £25
    [ ] Playing audibly £25
    [ ] Faking changes £25
    [ ] Slapping £150
    [ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass £25
    [ ] Excessive sweating £25
    [ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo £50
    [ ] Asking leader for a solo £30
    [ ] Accepting solo when offered £50
    [ ] Taking second chorus £100
    [ ] Playing solo arco £400
    [ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune £100
    [ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune £200
    [ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune £500

    ELECTRIC PLAYERS
    [x] Checking hair between tunes £15
    [x] Experimenting with odd meters £25
    [x] Missing root at end of blistering fill £25
    [ ] Playing with a pick £50
    [ ] Tuning during ballad £30
    [ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba £75
    [x] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad £150
    [ ] Attempting last word on final chord £50
    [ ] Achieving last word on final chord £100
    [ ] Long gliss down to final note £200

    EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
    [x] Forgetting strap £10
    [ ] Changing strings after every set £15
    [x] Using electric tuner £15
    [ ] Setting up mic "just in case" £75
    [ ] Forgetting to turn amp on £40
    [x] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry £50
    [x] Asking horn player for help moving amp £25
    [ ] Bringing custom-made bass £100 per string above 4
    [ ] Bringing more than 1 bass £100 per extra bass
    [ ] Skull decals on bass £150
    [ ] Bringing fretless bass £500

    MUSICAL OFFENCES
    [x] Playing loudly during warm up £10
    [x] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping £25
    [x] Loud cursing after mistake £10
    [x] Playing high and fast after mistake £20
    [ ] Practising 2-handed tapping between tunes £20
    [ ] Asking for "E" tuning note £25
    [ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb £50
    [ ] Playing eighth notes £5 each
    [x] Playing sixteenth notes £10 each
    [x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
    [ ] Dragging fast tempo £75
    [ ] Dragging ballad tempo £100
    [ ] Blacking out during ballad £200
    [ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo £100
    [x] Following drummer's tempo £250

    MUSIC READING
    [ ] Playing written-out walking line £50
    [ ] Failure to play written walking line £75
    [x] Writing note names over ledger-line notes £50
    [ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures £50

    BASIC STUPIDITY
    [ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt £10
    [ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt £20
    [ ] Asking when the rock set starts £2
    [x] Continually asking "where are we?" £25
    [ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" £25
    [ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's £100

    CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
    [ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get £10
    [ ] Asking bone player about their day gig £10
    [x] Sitting behind drums on break £10
    [ ] Quoting "Birdland" £25
    [ ] Practising scales during break £25
     
  4. Dream Works

    Dream Works

    Dec 5, 2003
    Toronto
    Bass Violation Sheet__________

    Player__Dream Works__
    Date of Offence__Reoccuring__


    UPRIGHT PLAYERS
    [ ] Showing up before first downbeat £25
    [ ] Playing audibly £25
    [ ] Faking changes £25
    [ ] Slapping £150
    [ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass £25
    [ ] Excessive sweating £25
    [ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo £50
    [ ] Asking leader for a solo £30
    [ ] Accepting solo when offered £50
    [ ] Taking second chorus £100
    [ ] Playing solo arco £400
    [ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune £100
    [ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune £200
    [ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune £500

    ELECTRIC PLAYERS
    [ ] Checking hair between tunes £15
    [x] Experimenting with odd meters £25
    [ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill £25
    [ ] Playing with a pick £50
    [ ] Tuning during ballad £30
    [ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba £75
    [ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad £150
    [x] Attempting last word on final chord £50
    [x] Achieving last word on final chord £100
    [x] Long gliss down to final note £200

    EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
    [x] Forgetting strap £10
    [ ] Changing strings after every set £15
    [x] Using electric tuner £15
    [ ] Setting up mic "just in case" £75
    [ ] Forgetting to turn amp on £40
    [x] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry £50
    [x] Asking horn player for help moving amp £25
    [x2] Bringing custom-made bass £100 per string above 4
    [x] Bringing more than 1 bass £100 per extra bass
    [ ] Skull decals on bass £150
    [ ] Bringing fretless bass £500

    MUSICAL OFFENCES
    [x] Playing loudly during warm up £10
    [ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping £25
    [x] Loud cursing after mistake £10
    [x] Playing high and fast after mistake £20
    [x] Practising 2-handed tapping between tunes £20
    [x] Asking for "E" tuning note £25
    [x] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb £50
    [x] Playing eighth notes £5 each
    [x] Playing sixteenth notes £10 each
    [x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
    [ ] Dragging fast tempo £75
    [ ] Dragging ballad tempo £100
    [x] Blacking out during ballad £200
    [x] Ignoring drummer's tempo £100
    [x] Following drummer's tempo £250

    MUSIC READING
    [x] Playing written-out walking line £50
    [ ] Failure to play written walking line £75
    [x] Writing note names over ledger-line notes £50
    [x] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures £50

    BASIC STUPIDITY
    [ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt £10
    [ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt £20
    [ ] Asking when the rock set starts £2
    [x] Continually asking "where are we?" £25
    [ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" £25
    [ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's £100

    CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
    [ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get £10
    [ ] Asking bone player about their day gig £10
    [x] Sitting behind drums on break £10
    [ ] Quoting "Birdland" £25
    [ ] Practising scales during break £25



    I think I'm in debt.
     
  5. HarrisIsGod

    HarrisIsGod

    Sep 1, 2005
    London
    Bass Violation Sheet__________

    Player_Matt_"HarrisIsGod"_Perry__
    Date of Offence__Reoccuring__

    UPRIGHT PLAYERS
    [ ] Showing up before first downbeat £25
    [ ] Playing audibly £25
    [ ] Faking changes £25
    [ ] Slapping £150
    [ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass £25
    [ ] Excessive sweating £25
    [ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo £50
    [ ] Asking leader for a solo £30
    [ ] Accepting solo when offered £50
    [ ] Taking second chorus £100
    [ ] Playing solo arco £400
    [ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune £100
    [ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune £200
    [ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune £500

    ELECTRIC PLAYERS
    [ ] Checking hair between tunes £15
    [ ] Experimenting with odd meters £25
    [ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill £25
    [ ] Playing with a pick £50
    [ ] Tuning during ballad £30
    [ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba £75
    [ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad £150
    [x] Attempting last word on final chord £50
    [x] Achieving last word on final chord £100
    [ ] Long gliss down to final note £200

    EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
    [x] Forgetting strap £10
    [ ] Changing strings after every set £15
    [x] Using electric tuner £15
    [ ] Setting up mic "just in case" £75
    [x] Forgetting to turn amp on £40
    [ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry £50
    [ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp £25
    [ ] Bringing custom-made bass £100 per string above 4
    [ ] Bringing more than 1 bass £100 per extra bass
    [x] Skull decals on bass £150
    [ ] Bringing fretless bass £500

    MUSICAL OFFENCES
    [x] Playing loudly during warm up £10
    [x] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping £25
    [ ] Loud cursing after mistake £10
    [x] Playing high and fast after mistake £20
    [ ] Practising 2-handed tapping between tunes £20
    [ ] Asking for "E" tuning note £25
    [ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb £50
    [x] Playing eighth notes £5 each
    [x] Playing sixteenth notes £10 each
    [x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
    [ ] Dragging fast tempo £75
    [ ] Dragging ballad tempo £100
    [ ] Blacking out during ballad £200
    [ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo £100
    [x] Following drummer's tempo £250

    MUSIC READING
    [ ] Playing written-out walking line £50
    [ ] Failure to play written walking line £75
    [ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes £50
    [ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures £50

    BASIC STUPIDITY
    [ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt £10
    [ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt £20
    [ ] Asking when the rock set starts £2
    [ ] Continually asking "where are we?" £25
    [ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" £25
    [ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's £100

    CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
    [ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get £10
    [ ] Asking bone player about their day gig £10
    [x] Sitting behind drums on break £10
    [ ] Quoting "Birdland" £25
    [x] Practising scales during break £25
     
  6. Bass Violation Sheet__________

    Player__________
    Date of Offence__________


    UPRIGHT PLAYERS
    [ ] Showing up before first downbeat £25
    [ ] Playing audibly £25
    [ ] Faking changes £25
    [ ] Slapping £150
    [ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass £25
    [ ] Excessive sweating £25
    [ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo £50
    [ ] Asking leader for a solo £30
    [ ] Accepting solo when offered £50
    [ ] Taking second chorus £100
    [ ] Playing solo arco £400
    [ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune £100
    [ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune £200
    [ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune £500

    ELECTRIC PLAYERS
    [ ] Checking hair between tunes £15
    [ ] Experimenting with odd meters £25
    [ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill £25
    [ ] Playing with a pick £50
    [ ] Tuning during ballad £30
    [ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba £75
    [ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad £150
    [ ] Attempting last word on final chord £50
    [ ] Achieving last word on final chord £100
    [ ] Long gliss down to final note £200

    EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
    [ ] Forgetting strap £10
    [ ] Changing strings after every set £15
    [ ] Using electric tuner £15
    [ ] Setting up mic "just in case" £75
    [ ] Forgetting to turn amp on £40
    [ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry £50
    [ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp £25
    [ ] Bringing custom-made bass £100 per string above 4
    [ ] Bringing more than 1 bass £100 per extra bass
    [ ] Skull decals on bass £150
    [ ] Bringing fretless bass £500

    MUSICAL OFFENCES
    [ ] Playing loudly during warm up £10
    [ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping £25
    [ ] Loud cursing after mistake £10
    [ ] Playing high and fast after mistake £20
    [ ] Practising 2-handed tapping between tunes £20
    [ ] Asking for "E" tuning note £25
    [ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb £50
    [ ] Playing eighth notes £5 each
    [ ] Playing sixteenth notes £10 each
    [ ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
    [ ] Dragging fast tempo £75
    [ ] Dragging ballad tempo £100
    [ ] Blacking out during ballad £200
    [ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo £100
    [ ] Following drummer's tempo £250

    MUSIC READING
    [ ] Playing written-out walking line £50
    [ ] Failure to play written walking line £75
    [ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes £50
    [ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures £50

    BASIC STUPIDITY
    [ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt £10
    [ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt £20
    [ ] Asking when the rock set starts £2
    [ ] Continually asking "where are we?" £25
    [ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" £25
    [ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's £100

    CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
    [ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get £10
    [ ] Asking bone player about their day gig £10
    [ ] Sitting behind drums on break £10
    [ ] Quoting "Birdland" £25
    [ ] Practising scales during break £25[/QUOTE]

    Looks like I'm perfect.
     
  7. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    Sorry Jack, you can't be perfect. Only JimmyM is perfect. I wanna join your JimmyM fan club, I love Jimmy's posts :D

    To describe Jimmy as "grumpy" would be to miss a perfect opportunity to use the word "irascible". But he's always worth reading, and he's often spot on (except about graphite necks, he's way out on that issue. And "mwah". And modding basses. Apart from those, he's perfect).
     
  8. Ok, you're member number two, and the secretary.
     
  9. Bass Violation Sheet
    Player : Mon
    Date of Offence : Whenever
    ELECTRIC PLAYERS
    [ x ] Playing with a pick £50
    [ x ] Long gliss down to final note £200

    EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
    [ x ] Using electric tuner £15
    [ x ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry £50
    [ x ] Bringing more than 1 bass £100 per extra bass
    MUSICAL OFFENCES
    [ x ] Playing loudly during warm up £10
    [ x ] Playing eighth notes £5 each
    [ x ] Playing sixteenth notes £10 each
    [ x ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
    [ x ] Following drummer's tempo £250
     
  10. Bass Violation Sheet

    Player: Eric
    Date of Offense: Throughout career

    UPRIGHT PLAYERS
    [N/A] Showing up before first downbeat £25
    [N/A] Playing audibly £25
    [N/A] Faking changes £25
    [N/A] Slapping £150
    [N/A] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass £25
    [N/A] Excessive sweating £25
    [N/A] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo £50
    [N/A] Asking leader for a solo £30
    [N/A] Accepting solo when offered £50
    [N/A] Taking second chorus £100
    [N/A] Playing solo arco £400
    [N/A] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune £100
    [N/A] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune £200
    [N/A] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune £500

    ELECTRIC PLAYERS
    [ ] Checking hair between tunes £15
    [X] Experimenting with odd meters £25
    [X] Missing root at end of blistering fill £25
    [ ] Playing with a pick £50
    [X] Tuning during ballad £30
    [N/A] Playing Jaco groove on samba £75
    [ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad £150
    [X] Attempting last word on final chord £50
    [X] Achieving last word on final chord £100
    [X] Long gliss down to final note £200

    EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
    [ ] Forgetting strap £10
    [ ] Changing strings after every set £15
    [X] Using electric tuner £15
    [X] Setting up mic "just in case" £75
    [ ] Forgetting to turn amp on £40
    [X] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry £50
    [N/A] Asking horn player for help moving amp £25
    [X] Bringing custom-made bass £100 per string above 4
    [X] Bringing more than 1 bass £100 per extra bass
    [ ] Skull decals on bass £150
    [ ] Bringing fretless bass £500

    MUSICAL OFFENCES
    [X] Playing loudly during warm up £10
    [X] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping £25
    [X] Loud cursing after mistake £10
    [X] Playing high and fast after mistake £20
    [X] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes £20
    [ ] Asking for "E" tuning note £25
    [N/A] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb £50
    [X] Playing eighth notes £5 each
    [X] Playing sixteenth notes £10 each
    [X] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
    [X] Dragging fast tempo £75
    [X] Dragging ballad tempo £100
    [X] Blacking out during ballad £200
    [ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo £100
    [X] Following drummer's tempo £250

    MUSIC READING
    [ ] Playing written-out walking line £50
    [X] Failure to play written walking line £75
    [ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes £50
    [ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures £50

    BASIC STUPIDITY
    [ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt £10
    [ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt £20
    [ ] Asking when the rock set starts £2
    [ ] Continually asking "where are we?" £25
    [ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" £25
    [ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's £100

    CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
    ["bone" player"??] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get £10
    ["bone player"??] Asking bone player about their day gig £10
    [X] Sitting behind drums on break £10
    [ ] Quoting "Birdland" £25
    [X] Practising scales during break £25
     
  11. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    Thanks, Jack - I love the sig update!! :D
     
  12. Dream Works

    Dream Works

    Dec 5, 2003
    Toronto
    A bone player is a trombone player :3
     
  13. It's saying that trombone players never get any work (I think. Then again, I have a tendency to not get even the most obvious jokes.)

    Hope to build the sig. up so big that it won't fit. And maybe even get a real quote from Jimmy.
     
  14. Jazzin'

    Jazzin' ...Bluesin' and Funkin'

    Theres one of those posted in my school in the music department area.
     
  15. A real quote from Jimmy? I never knew he was that famous.
     
  16. Bass Violation Sheet

    Player: Me
    Date of Offence: In general


    UPRIGHT PLAYERS
    [ ] Showing up before first downbeat £25
    [ ] Playing audibly £25
    [ ] Faking changes £25
    [ ] Slapping £150
    [ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass £25
    [ ] Excessive sweating £25
    [ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo £50
    [ ] Asking leader for a solo £30
    [ ] Accepting solo when offered £50
    [ ] Taking second chorus £100
    [ ] Playing solo arco £400
    [ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune £100
    [ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune £200
    [ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune £500

    ELECTRIC PLAYERS
    [ ] Checking hair between tunes £15
    [x] Experimenting with odd meters £25
    [x] Missing root at end of blistering fill £25
    [ ] Playing with a pick £50
    [ ] Tuning during ballad £30
    [x] Playing Jaco groove on samba £75
    [x] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad £150
    [x] Attempting last word on final chord £50
    [ ] Achieving last word on final chord £100
    [ ] Long gliss down to final note £200

    EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
    [ ] Forgetting strap £10
    [ ] Changing strings after every set £15
    [ ] Using electric tuner £15
    [ ] Setting up mic "just in case" £75
    [ ] Forgetting to turn amp on £40
    [ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry £50
    [ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp £25
    [ ] Bringing custom-made bass £100 per string above 4
    [ ] Bringing more than 1 bass £100 per extra bass
    [ ] Skull decals on bass £150
    [ ] Bringing fretless bass £500

    MUSICAL OFFENCES
    [ ] Playing loudly during warm up £10
    [x] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping £25
    [ ] Loud cursing after mistake £10
    [ ] Playing high and fast after mistake £20
    [x] Practising 2-handed tapping between tunes £20
    [ ] Asking for "E" tuning note £25
    [ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb £50
    [x] Playing eighth notes £5 each
    [x] Playing sixteenth notes £10 each
    [x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
    [x] Dragging fast tempo £75
    [ ] Dragging ballad tempo £100
    [ ] Blacking out during ballad £200
    [ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo £100
    [ ] Following drummer's tempo £250

    MUSIC READING
    [ ] Playing written-out walking line £50
    [ ] Failure to play written walking line £75
    [x] Writing note names over ledger-line notes £50
    [x] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures £50

    BASIC STUPIDITY
    [ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt £10
    [ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt £20
    [ ] Asking when the rock set starts £2
    [ ] Continually asking "where are we?" £25
    [ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" £25
    [ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's £100

    CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
    [ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get £10
    [ ] Asking bone player about their day gig £10
    [ ] Sitting behind drums on break £10
    [x] Quoting "Birdland" £25
    [x] Practising scales during break £25
     
  17. pklima

    pklima

    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    Bass Violation Sheet

    Player: Myself
    Date of Offence: 2005


    UPRIGHT PLAYERS
    [X] Showing up before first downbeat £25
    [X] Playing audibly £25
    [X] Faking changes £25
    [X] Slapping £150
    [ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass £25
    [X] Excessive sweating £25
    [ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo £50
    [ ] Asking leader for a solo £30
    [X] Accepting solo when offered £50
    [ ] Taking second chorus £100
    [ ] Playing solo arco £400
    [X] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune £100
    [ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune £200
    [ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune £500

    ELECTRIC PLAYERS
    [ ] Checking hair between tunes £15
    [ ] Experimenting with odd meters £25
    [ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill £25
    [ ] Playing with a pick £50
    [ ] Tuning during ballad £30
    [ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba £75
    [ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad £150
    [X] Attempting last word on final chord £50
    [X] Achieving last word on final chord £100
    [ ] Long gliss down to final note £200

    EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
    [ ] Forgetting strap £10
    [ ] Changing strings after every set £15
    [X] Using electric tuner £15
    [ ] Setting up mic "just in case" £75
    [ ] Forgetting to turn amp on £40
    [ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry £50
    [ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp £25
    [X] Bringing custom-made bass £100 per string above 4
    [ ] Bringing more than 1 bass £100 per extra bass
    [ ] Skull decals on bass £150
    [ ] Bringing fretless bass £500

    MUSICAL OFFENCES
    [ ] Playing loudly during warm up £10
    [ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping £25
    [ ] Loud cursing after mistake £10
    [ ] Playing high and fast after mistake £20
    [ ] Practising 2-handed tapping between tunes £20
    [X] Asking for "E" tuning note £25
    [X] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb £50
    [X] Playing eighth notes £5 each
    [ ] Playing sixteenth notes £10 each
    [X] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
    [X] Dragging fast tempo £75
    [X] Dragging ballad tempo £100
    [ ] Blacking out during ballad £200
    [ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo £100
    [X] Following drummer's tempo £250

    MUSIC READING
    [ ] Playing written-out walking line £50
    [ ] Failure to play written walking line £75
    [ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes £50
    [ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures £50

    BASIC STUPIDITY
    [ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt £10
    [ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt £20
    [ ] Asking when the rock set starts £2
    [ ] Continually asking "where are we?" £25
    [ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" £25
    [ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's £100

    CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
    [ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get £10
    [X] Asking bone player about their day gig £10
    [ ] Sitting behind drums on break £10
    [ ] Quoting "Birdland" £25
    [ ] Practising scales during break £25
     
  18. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    Maybe you should start a thread on this in the Bassists forum? Jimmy would love it ;) :eek: :D
     
  19. You reckon? It would get deleted. I'll give it a go now though.
     
  20. Jazzin'

    Jazzin' ...Bluesin' and Funkin'

    Bass Violation Sheet__________

    Player_ME__
    Date of Offence__________


    UPRIGHT PLAYERS (I'll change it to JAZZ)
    [ ] Showing up before first downbeat £25
    [x] Playing audibly £25
    [ ] Faking changes £25
    [ ] Slapping £150
    [ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass £25
    [ ] Excessive sweating £25
    [ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo £50
    [x] Asking leader for a solo £30
    [x] Accepting solo when offered £50
    [ ] Taking second chorus £100
    [ ] Playing solo arco £400
    [ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune £100
    [ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune £200
    [ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune £500

    ELECTRIC PLAYERS
    [ ] Checking hair between tunes £15
    [ ] Experimenting with odd meters £25
    [ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill £25
    [ ] Playing with a pick £50
    [ ] Tuning during ballad £30
    [ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba £75
    [ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad £150
    [x] Attempting last word on final chord £50
    [x] Achieving last word on final chord £100
    [ ] Long gliss down to final note £200

    EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
    [ ] Forgetting strap £10
    [ ] Changing strings after every set £15
    [x] Using electric tuner £15
    [ ] Setting up mic "just in case" £75
    [ ] Forgetting to turn amp on £40
    [x] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry £50
    [x] Asking horn player for help moving amp £25
    [ ] Bringing custom-made bass £100 per string above 4
    [x] Bringing more than 1 bass £100 per extra bass
    [ ] Skull decals on bass £150
    [ ] Bringing fretless bass £500

    MUSICAL OFFENCES
    [x] Playing loudly during warm up £10
    [x] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping £25
    [ ] Loud cursing after mistake £10
    [ ] Playing high and fast after mistake £20
    [ ] Practising 2-handed tapping between tunes £20
    [ ] Asking for "E" tuning note £25
    [ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb £50
    [ ] Playing eighth notes £5 each
    [ ] Playing sixteenth notes £10 each
    [x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
    [ ] Dragging fast tempo £75
    [ ] Dragging ballad tempo £100
    [ ] Blacking out during ballad £200
    [ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo £100
    [x] Following drummer's tempo £250

    MUSIC READING
    [x] Playing written-out walking line £50
    [x] Failure to play written walking line £75
    [x] Writing note names over ledger-line notes £50
    [ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures £50

    BASIC STUPIDITY
    [ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt £10
    [ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt £20
    [ ] Asking when the rock set starts £2
    [x] Continually asking "where are we?" £25
    [ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" £25
    [ ] Taking cell phone call during 4's £100

    CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
    [ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get £10
    [ ] Asking bone player about their day gig £10
    [ ] Sitting behind drums on break £10
    [ ] Quoting "Birdland" £25
    [ ] Practising scales during break £25