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Bassist Available in Toronto... Consider yourself warned! :P

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by ::::BASSIST::::, Dec 10, 2011.


  1. ::::BASSIST::::

    ::::BASSIST:::: Progress Not Perfection.

    Sep 2, 2004
    Vancouver, BC Canada
  2. Nev375

    Nev375

    Nov 2, 2010
    Missouri
    :D

    Excellent creative writing. I laughed, I cried.
     
  3. spaz21387

    spaz21387

    Feb 25, 2008
    Portland oregon
    That cant be real. It has to be a joke.
     
  4. ::::BASSIST::::

    ::::BASSIST:::: Progress Not Perfection.

    Sep 2, 2004
    Vancouver, BC Canada
    Definitely a joke. That's why I posted in "Bass Humour".
     
  5. EatADeadGoat

    EatADeadGoat

    Aug 29, 2010
    Dude. I am scared. He'll steal all the spots for auditions.
     
  6. Richland123

    Richland123

    Apr 17, 2009
    We all know real players who are like that.
     
  7. I admire his honesty ;)

    If more CL "musicicians" were that forward in their adds we would all avoid a great deal of wasted time. Quite a few of them think all the same stuff he said there.
     
  8. I like how he said he was the best bassist in Toronto despite the fact that Geddy Lee lives in Toronto
     
  9. Vakmere

    Vakmere

    Sep 6, 2007
    Philly
    There may be just a hint of truth to all of that.
     
  10. AltGrendel

    AltGrendel Squire Jag SS fan.

    May 21, 2009
    Mid-Atlantic USA.
    :p
     
  11. Fretless1!

    Fretless1!

    Feb 19, 2007
    Text:

    Hire Me!

    I'm a great pro bass player looking for a new band, and have a lot of experience
    playing in all kinds of bands. I don't like to brag, but to be honest I'm the best
    bass player in Toronto.

    I am picky about the kind of music I play. I don't like playing in original bands,
    because most of the players in those bands aren't good enough to play covers, and
    I don't like country because it's for morons. I'll play any style except reggae,
    ska, country, originals, classical, hip hop, rap, alternative, jazz, punk, new age,
    classic rock, or metal. I play current rock, and only current rock, even though most
    of it sucks, so I'm extremely particular about the kind of music I play. Think Nirvana
    meets Eric Clapton, with a touch of Motor Head thrown in (I know they're not NEW,
    but that's the style of music I prefer). If that is the kind of music you play, hit
    me up, otherwise don't waste my time.


    I'm ready to play immediately. I just need a little help financially to get my bass
    out of the pawn shop, and it would be great if you can loan me a little for strings,
    just until we get paid from our first gig, and I'll pay you back. I'm going through
    a messy divorce, but fortunately I get my kids part of the time, usually on the weekends.
    That won't be a problem though, because I can get a babysitter if I have enough notice
    if a gig comes up. I don't have a phone right now, but I'm planning to get a prepaid
    one as soon as I get a job. I'm staying with a friend right now and writing this
    on his computer, so you can contact me here. He says I can stay here one more month
    before I have to find a new place. I'm hoping to move back in with my Mom, but for
    some reason she's not returning my calls.


    My car got repossessed recently, so it would be great if someone in the band can give me a ride and haul my big ass, just until we get things going
    and we start making some serious money. My brother knows a guy whose sister is dating the ex-drummer of a band in Fargo, North Dakota that
    used to get some bookings from an agent in Detroit who's cousin is the wife of a lawyer that who was hired to put together a deal for a band that
    almost got a contract with a big record company in Los Angeles before the deal fell through. Bottom line is, I've got great connections.


    Yes, I am in RECOVERY, and part of recovery is admitting you have a problem, but
    I haven't had any significant relapses since my last stint in rehab, I only smoke
    a little 420, and only on the breaks, and I'm always careful nobody sees me in the
    parking lot. All other form of recreation wait until AFTER the gig!
    Besides, unlike some other bass players in Toronto that have on-going "issues"
    (you bass players know who you are) you know you can absolutely count on me staying sober and
    NOT HAVING A SUBSTANCE ABUSE OR ALCOHOL PROBLEM
    because my doctor says any of that stuff will interfere with the effectiveness of my medication.



    I'm ready to play, so if you want the best bass player in Toronto, hit me up!
    Thanks
    Me
     
  12. bassboysam

    bassboysam Supporting Member

    Apr 26, 2001
    Ottawa, Ontario
    He's from Toronto so I'm not surprised;)

    Although I would have guessed he was a drummer...
     
  13. bassy7

    bassy7

    Jan 29, 2010
    I saw this exact same CL listed on the Richmond Va CL sometime back. Suppose its good enough that it's being recycled and sent around the block.
     

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