bassist confessional.

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by jonathan_matos5, Jun 27, 2007.

  1. boyet


    May 15, 2007
  2. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    Oh God...


    I'm fat. I've been the biggest guy in every band I was in, even when I wasn't fat. When I was thin and only 255 lbs at 5' 11" (Yeah. I know that sounds fat. But on my frame that was fit. I'm short but thick. When you hear people say "I'm not fat. I'm big boned.", I'm what they are talking about, except now I actually am fat.)

    I have an awesome beard. Mine is much better than the guy in the Dos Equis commercial.

    I tend to wear hats. I have to. I'm bald and I hate it. I'd shave my head and look like I had a choice in the matter, but my wife hates the shaved head look on white guys.

    I know more musical theory than nearly anyone I know and I keep trying to explain it to them. I'll get better, eventually.

    I was often the mediator in the band.

    I was nearly invisible on occasions, even when I was the lead singer.

    I had the biggest rig in my old band. I had a 2x15 cab with a 400W powered 2x10 cab on top of it, and an Acoustic B4 on top of that. It was taller than me.

    I helped everyone with loadout.

    Edit: I forgot, but I also have the most eclectic taste in music in any band I've been in.
  3. Aaron


    Jun 2, 2001
    Seattle, WA
    It is funny hearing bassists' views on what are stereotypical bassists. "6'3", chiseled abs, 180 IQ, can solve a rubix cube in 12 seconds..."

    Where does this "knows the most theory" stereotype come from? Does it exist outside of bass playing communities?
  4. Thats very scary, but somehow understandable :eek:

    I love my drummers - always help them get all their stuff in and out (would help set up if i knew how), and get annoyed / defensive when people claim they're too loud (my church drummer has been told on several occasions that he makes children cry :meh:)

    I'm tall, lanky and skinny - the other body related stereotype
    Also guilty of discussing theory with people who don't understand - mostly guitarists.

    All that plus a whole load of others i can't be bothered to mention (would take too much time / space).
  5. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    I've chiseled abs before. It was in a piece of maple.
  6. Wasp


    Jun 26, 2007
    Sydney, Australia
    Two, Four or Six Pack?
  7. BassAvenger1


    Apr 2, 2007
    im guilty of just about all of them. i talk theory with people who dont understand it. i move all over the damn place whem really into the "solid groove" ha ha. i used to have hair past my shoulders, im only about 5'9'' and 130 lbs. so i fit the "tiny bass player" stereotype. hopeless. but damn i love playing bass. i played for 7 hrs the other day.
  8. elgranluis


    Feb 14, 2003
    Vail, CO
    well, I hate lead singers (mine at least!) don't know if that fits here though!
  9. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    Strongest theory in the band.
    Tall and lanky.
    Introvert tendencies.
    Use the term "groove" frequently.

    Our balding frontman is the one who is seldom to be found without hat and goatee. I'm usually stubbly and unchapeaued.
  10. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    Good guitarists should know as much theory, but typically most guitarists just put together chords and riffs by ear, per my experience.

    Bassists have to decifer the key and applicable scales and modes to be able to play over those chords, otherwise we're stuck playing root notes.
  11. SpecialG


    Apr 22, 2007
    Well, I'm a bassist, and I'll just describe myself:

    160 5'10"
    Don't know much all

    My fav bass is an E-bay 5-string

    I pick up on songs faster than a guitarist/old friend of mine

    I learn Victor Wooten songs... just cus

    I have a wide range of music to listen to.... yes, just because of the bassline, and it's interesting.

    My take on Pete Wentz? He's probably worn his G string...

    Oh, and I don't just play tabs that I find, I like to move to my own groove.

    Oh, and I'm also in the process of making a freaky flying V (out of oak, no less).

    And no, I don't have a band. Just a bunch of friends that jam every once and a later.
  12. Rowsdower


    Feb 14, 2007
    I didn't read through the whole post but I'll post the stereotypes I've fit that I've read so far.

    weirdest taste in music than anyone I know
  13. xlows


    Oct 21, 2006
    I have a laid-back personality.
  14. Audiophage


    Jan 9, 2005
    I fall in to the bass playing stereotype of playing bass.
  15. biff brown

    biff brown

    Jun 26, 2007
    san marcos, tx
    I'm a total whore when it comes to eqiupment, 3 basses, 4x10, 1x15, 325w amp etc
    I know more theory than anyone else
    I like to jump on tables when playing
    I'm always the moderator, may as well be manager
    dont have a beard but do have a mohawk to stand out( and im not even in a punk band)
    I have the largest hands
    check out my myspace it says it all
  16. CapnSev


    Aug 19, 2006
    Coeur d'Alene

    Yep. +1

    B. - I find myself doing that "blank stare off into the distance" thing during songs sometimes.

    C. - Don't move around as much as I should, and I'm doing 90% + of the vocals!

    D. - I am on time and set up for practices and gigs.

    E. - I read music.
  17. Anti-Cult Bass

    Anti-Cult Bass

    May 23, 2007
    well lets see,

    im GROWING the goatee. its took 4 months, im 16....

    im average size, kinda small. 5'7", 130lbs.

    i hate my lead singer, mostly because he thinks he knows everything about every instrument. and the fact that my butthole has a better singing voice than him.

    i love hats, and generally rock my fedora.

    i move around more than anyone in the band on stage, and i sing backup. thats bad.. lol

    i know way more about theory than the rest of the band.

    me and the keyboardist(girlfriend) for the band that can read actual standard notation. but then again, our guitarist is like almost blind.

    i carry extra cords, pedals(not anymore) etc.

    i sold my guitarist his current guitar(not a stereotype, but still funny)

    uh...... idk.... im not the cool headed one of the band, thats my girlfriend. i get pissed at the singer and cuss him out at literally every band practice......

    yeah thats about it.
  18. The BurgerMeister

    The BurgerMeister musician.

    Apr 13, 2006
    Big Bear, CA
    i'm often guilty of being "too cool for school."
    http://[malware url removed].net/vicious-smiley-1815.gif
  19. BassMan250


    Jan 26, 2007
    Denver, CO
    I'm obsessed with tone and theory, have the most gear in my band, am shy, eclectic music tastes, I help with loading and am the least high-strung ... but I'm also the smallest guy in the band and don't have a goatee either.
  20. im a geek
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