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Being a parent.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Aaron Saunders, Mar 6, 2005.

  1. Aaron Saunders

    Aaron Saunders

    Apr 27, 2002
    Who here can't wait to be a dad/mom? Now, at 17, clearly I'm going to have to wait a few years (I'm thinking about 10 ;)) but I can't think of a bigger joy than being a dad. I love kids, and get along with them so well, and I've got a couple cousins several years older who have kids (6 and 3, and a 3 month year old) and one of the definite highlights of my year is at Christmas when I get to see them. See? Kids even make me write massive run-on sentences.

    Talk about your kids! If you don't have 'em, talk about...well, your uncle's, or your sister's, or your favourite kids on TV. Kids = awesome.
  2. First of all, you are the only 17 year old that I've ever heard say they want to be a parent at any age. When I was 17, we mostly discussed the best ways to avoid such a situation.

    Fastforward to last week, when I had my second daughter. For me, being a parent is one of the greatest joys on this planet (finding the love of your life also ranks high, followed by excelling in disease control on a planetary scale). I now have two girls. I'm not sure I could craft a passage that would accurately express how much joy they bring me....so just assume that it's a lot.

    I hope your future pans out they way you want it. Peace and kids.

  3. Dude, I'm 17 and want kids too.

    We must be twins. :eek: :rolleyes:

    In a perfect world, I'd like to have two boys, preferrably two years apart, or maybe even twin boys.

  4. Silly me for not emphasizing the most important part.

  5. slugworth

    slugworth Banned

    Jun 12, 2003
    So. Calif.
    >>> Think about it in 15 years. Finish high school, go to
    college, get a good job, buy a house, save a ton of money,
    settle down with the right person, travel the world, and
    THEN start a family... I don't have kids, but everybody I
    know who got married out of high school and started having kids is divorced, miserable and broke, usually working at
    some low paying hourly wage job trying to pay child support or resolve nasty custody battles, living in an apartment with a slob roommate. A lot of them were musicians, but they
    sold their gear long ago and no longer play...Raising kids nowadays is harder than ever. Both parents usually have to work, and the children suffer. Too many ways for kids to get into serious trouble, these days, and too many bad societal
    influences bombard them every day. I love my sister's kids, but she's fortunate that she doesn't have to work, but money is tight. She's on those kids like a Marine Corps drill instructor 24-7, so far they're turning out the right way.

  6. You never have "enough" money. You find it in places you didn't know existed. I was scared that we couldn't afford the first. Childcare alone is a BMW monthly payment, I was driving a '89 Corrolla. 2 years later...all is well.

    You need to set as many variables as you can, but there is never a perfect time to procreate.

  7. slugworth

    slugworth Banned

    Jun 12, 2003
    So. Calif.
  8. eric atkinson

    eric atkinson "Is our children learning "Is our teachers teachin

    Feb 4, 2001
    I have a 6 year old girl named Sophie. She is so cool and down to earth. The drummer i jam with also has a little girl about the same age. They love nothing more than to watch us practice. They get such a huge kick out of singing songs that come on the radio that we cover or when we put in a cd that we have played on together. I love kinds a generally hate adults! So i coach the local kindergarden soccer team. Since you 2 at 17 love kids so much i sudgest that you help coach a team of some sorts about that age range. Then we will see if you are ready for a kids. Nothing like a gaggle of 5-6 year olds cranked up on gator-aid and donuts kicking or hitting objects youre direction.

    If they do teach hockey to 5-6 year old kids then i am not sure if this would be a very good idea. Might make you unable to have children of youre own!
  9. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Great idea. Kids raising kids is not a good thing. At 17, you don't even know who you are yet. Wait until you have some financial stability and a strong self-image.

    I was 50 when my 7-year-old daughter was born and, while I'll admit that's a little late, I have to say there's not much that happens that I and my wife can't handle. Also, we do have enough money, and that makes a big difference. My daughter has traveled more places than I had by the time I was 40. Her life is enriched by having the resources to become much more than I will ever be. Maturity and financial stability are essential components of good parenting. Being a bit of a twerp doesn't really hurt, though.

    Oh, and CERTAINLY don't have a kid until after you graduate from college in a major that will benefit you and society (not psychology, either). You know, something that will get you a high-paying job.
  10. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    One of the things I really love about kids, is their ability to get completely absorbed in something new and exciting. Plus, kids are hard to fool. You might "think" you're fooling them, by telling them stories or something, but they get out of the "logical" thing real fast. They're very "experiential".

    'Course that means they tend to experiment, and also that means you probably have to hide the Ajax for a while. :D
  11. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    Having kids is definitely on my to-do list. Somewhere down the line I hope to have them. But I'm in no particular rush.
  12. slugworth

    slugworth Banned

    Jun 12, 2003
    So. Calif.
    >>> Words of wisdom Munji, words of wisdom.

  13. Don't sleep for 3-4 days, then only an hour at a time for a few weeks. Keep doing it. Go draw on everything that you value w/crayons- the more value, the more crayons. Put oatmeal in your VCR/DVD player. Put the cat in the dryer. Vomit on your best shirt when you need it in 10 minutes. Fight to potty train a 3 yr old for 6 months. Etc. That, for me, is kids.
    Oh yeah- every once in awhile they will say or do something that genuinely makes you forget it all, or they both/all 3(or more)fall asleep.
    Keep in mind that many people have it MUCH MUCH more difficult than this. Maybe you. I don't get the impression that you want kids right now, but if so, for their sake- don't.
  14. I never meant to imply that 17 was a good age to make any decision, and I think my first post exemplifies that. All I was trying to do was shed a little more light on my position and maybe educate someone in the process.

    Now...for this:

    I was going to ignore this and convince myself that you probably didn't mean for it to come out the way it did...but then I thought better of that position. In your response you made a few assumptions. Let's examine what you do know for sure...and what you don't.

    What you know:
    1) Thanks to information I provided, you know that I paid child care at one point in the last 2 years. End of story.

    What you assumed:
    1) I pay someone else to raise my child because I have something better to do

    What you don't know:
    1) How long I paid that childcare (do I currently?)
    2) How many hours or days a week my daughter was in the care of someone besides me
    3) WHY my daughter was in child care
    4) Who I was paying
    5) how many hundreds of feet my wife's workplace was from my daughter's location.
    6) Anything about how I may have been raised, who was there, and why.

    Conclusion: I'll thank you not to make any assumptions about my ability or fitness to parent based on a phrase typed in an internet forum. No hard feelings.

  15. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    I dont want to be married till im 30...

    i dont want kids till im 35.

    i want own my car, and have a good chunk of the house paid off before i have any kids.

  16. Aaron Saunders

    Aaron Saunders

    Apr 27, 2002
    Ha! I was actually planning on going to university for Psychology. Now, I'm going to be going to college for Jazz Studies and spending a year studying classical and jazz at McGill University. I will, however, probably end up getting a teaching degree. I love teaching. In some of the senior courses here, they have you do lectures at the end of the semester as a final project. Best part of the semester. Do note that in no way am I becoming an elementary school teacher -- high school for me. I'd love to have 2 or 3 little rugrats, but I'm not dealing with 23 of 'em.

    And bassteban...yeah. I'm waiting for a long time. I fully agree with Munji in on the financial stability and maturity thing. My mom is an elementary school teacher -- I've seen too many young kids come from homes where there are "kids raising kids" and it breaks my heart sometimes. Some people just want kids without the responsibility. My parents were 37 and 38 when I was born, and I was only their second. My older brother is only 3 and a half years older, too.

    Mike and Slug -- guys, keep it easy going. This is a thread to gush about your young'ins or talking about parenthood in a civilized manner -- not ripping each others' throats out about implied and assumed insults.
  17. canopener


    Sep 15, 2003
    Isle of Lucy
    I think I'm the only one to carry on my last name (at least in my family network). I'm 24 and don't have any desire to have kids, ever...at least at this point.

    I wish people that shouldn't be reproducing had the same attitude that I do...
  18. Man. I thought "no hard feelings" pretty much covered all the bases.....

  19. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central
    I like other people's kids.

    As far as kids of my own go, unless I'm incredibly lonely and stumble across a lovable street orphan who takes me on many wild and fantastical journeys across the furthest reaches of the globe, I'll stick with pets.

    Cheaper, and kids can't catch frisbees in there mouths. Plus, animals don't become teenagers, I'm still apologizing to my parents for those years of my life.
  20. Aqueousillusion


    Feb 8, 2005
    I can't wait to be a mom, and i'm 16. I will have to wait awhile, but not that long because I want to have about 10-12 kids, so i gotta get married and start pretty early.