Being passionate about life and music?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by fourstringdrums, Aug 30, 2005.

  1. fourstringdrums

    fourstringdrums Decidedly Indecisive Supporting Member

    Oct 20, 2002
    San Antonio
    Bear with me, this is something that I'm not quite sure how to explain.

    I've been thinking alot lately about not just music, but my life in general and how I find that I really lack passion for anything. Not that I'm apathetic and I don't care, but that I just seem to "go through the motions" and I'm doing things without any sense of purpose.

    What I mean is that I see people who really find joy in just living, making the most out of what their life has to offer in the moment. That a special joy just comes from waking up every day and being on this earth, soaking in everything it has to offer. I also see people making the most of their talent..I think of this especially musically. Just playing from their soul, regardless of skill level and being in the moment, letting whatever is inside come out, regardless of how it may sound to someone else.

    I honestly don't feel that way about music or in any other aspect of life, yet it's all I think about and wish I could achieve. I wish I could get up every day and just be glad to be alive and take whatever the day brings with appreciation. Instead I feel like I struggle day to day. The only time I feel good is when the day ends. I find more tension and stress in things than joy. I feel like health problems, worries about upcoming events and heavy distaste towards my job just sucking me down. Musically it's no better..with bass or drums. I feel passionate when I listen to certain music, but when I play I just feel cold and feel like it's not in me at all.

    It may sound strange, especially considering how much I try and look on the bright side of my disability, but I think often for some reason about how things would be 100% better if I woke up tomorrow and I was completely "normal" (physically, not mentally :p) Like that's the problem, and it's some glass wall holding me back, but yet I can see what I want on the other side. It feels like my problem is lack of motivation, and if everything was different tomorrow, that would BE my motivation to find my passion..because I'd know how things could be worse and I wouldn't take things for granted..although I know things could be much worse from where I am now and I shouldn't take how I am now for granted.

    I'm sorry if this makes no sense at all and is just a bunch of rambling, but it's honestly got me depressed. It's been on my mind alot lately and I just needed to vent.
  2. Dude, I'm going through exactly the same thing right now.

    Just don't give up. I'm not, and I think I'm seeing the light. Things'll turn around. They usually do.

    And I don't think your disability has anything to do with it. I'm "normal", and it still affects me.
  3. fourstringdrums

    fourstringdrums Decidedly Indecisive Supporting Member

    Oct 20, 2002
    San Antonio
    Well, I think a big part of it is that alot of issues I have to deal with regarding my health and what not, are what keep me from enjoying some things.
  4. 5stringDNA


    Oct 10, 2002
    Englewood, CO
    I don't think this is unusual at all- I go through phases like this myself, and have been in a nasty slump for awhile now. It really is no fun, and can make me very irritable and difficult sometimes. Much of my life can be described by chasing a carrot on a stick, haha. It seems the only times the carrot is within reach is when I stop teh world, settle down, and get regular about my spiritual issues and needs. For some reason this is a very difficult thing to do though. Inertia doesn't just apply to physical motion, it seems to be very entrenched in emotion as well. It's hard to get stuff out of the gutter. However, fi oyu have never been out of the gutter to begin with, that is quite another issue...:)
  5. fourstringdrums

    fourstringdrums Decidedly Indecisive Supporting Member

    Oct 20, 2002
    San Antonio
    I feel like I've always been in the gutter.. It's like you feel as if you have no style, no groove, and no identity to yourself. That you're just here, going through life as a zombie, and atleast for me, things that should be fun seem to be more of a chore than a joy.

    Honestly just thinking about it almost brings me to tears and it feels as if the life is getting sucked out of me more.
  6. When man controls his own destiny, it only leads to death. Put some faith in God and do something random and drastic like talk to a stranger in the park, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. The worst thing that could happen is he would shoo you away, and yet, you still know that you took the chance.

    When I worry about my own problems I sink back and try to control my own life, whereas, to me, it is when I begin to trust in God that things fall back into place. Just knowing this fact is not good enough to stop me from sinking back, so take action!

    *edit* I don't know if you are religious in the same way, and I know that religion should be kept to a minimum on these forums, but I hope this helps.
  7. JimmyM

    JimmyM Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Ampeg Amps, EMG Pickups
    You know, it's really easy for people who have good things going on in their life to tell you how you should get your passion for life back. I've suffered for 14 years with a skin disease that had wreaked havoc with my personal and professional life, and it's only been in the last month that it looks like I might finally beat it. In that time there were many times I wished a big lightning bolt would just take me out. I wasn't in pain and never got to where I couldn't function normally, but it still played mind games with me. I know, not on the same level as a disability, but it still sucks.

    Truth is, there's no easy answer. And nobody can tell you how to get your zest for life back. For some people it's as eay as getting laid. For others they never get it back. I'm not a huge fan of psychiatry or religion (no, I'm not a scientologist), but I know they've both done wonders for some people. Maybe you're not a person they would work on, but you never know until you try. And sometimes, just having someone to talk to who doesn't know you and you can spill your guts to without fear of having them haul ass on you can make you feel worlds better.

    Hope you get out of it one day. No easy answers but I believe that everyone has an answer. Just a matter of finding it. And on the bright side, we're all just cosmic debris and no matter what we do on earth, we're all going to die one day. If that don't make you happy, I don't know what will!

  8. fourstringdrums

    fourstringdrums Decidedly Indecisive Supporting Member

    Oct 20, 2002
    San Antonio
    That's the thing, I should be able to do that. I was raised Catholic and given all the things I know I've made it through and over come, it should be easy. But even that has been difficult for me lately. I haven't been going to church and I just haven't been putting faith in much, which is probably part of the problem.
  9. Adam Barkley

    Adam Barkley Mayday!

    Aug 26, 2003
    Jackson, MS
    Do you play with other musicians? It is common knowledge that bass is 5 times more boring than any other instrument when played by itself. :D

    Hit a blues jam. Open mics. Play something totally outside your musical "box". Challenge yourself.

    My playing stagnates when I stick to the same music for months on end. Currently I am working on a groove band and tenatively working on a punk band. I love the groove band, it keeps me on my toes. The punk band is more of a "take or leave it" situation, I don't hate it, but I've never played stuff like this before so I chaulk it up to a learning experience if nothing else.
  10. where do you find joy? (even if in the smallest ways)
    what do you want in life?
    what is really important to you?
    who do you care about?

    Maybe if you can find the answer to these questions, the passion and joy might come more easily.

    We all possess the ability for self-determination - exercise it. Find what you want and do what is necessary to achieve it. It may not be the destination, it may be the journey.

    MAJOR METAL HARVESTER OF SORROW Staff Member Supporting Member

    Daily reflection might help.
  12. Dan1099

    Dan1099 Dumbing My Process Down

    Aug 7, 2004
    Here's the thing, man. You're trying to hard. If you TRY to enjoy life, try to force yourself to find inspiration, you'll never do it, but just make it worse.

    Here's the first hint: Stop comparing yourself to other people. It'll never help you feel better. It'll make you feel worse. Yes, other people are in better places than you are. Yes, other people are in worse places than you are. But that's not what makes one happy. Who cares whether or not other people are better off than you?

    Focus on the things in life you enjoy. The simple things. I'm unaware as to what your physical condition is that you are worried about, but, in the long run, it shouldn't make a difference. Take time to smell the roses. Read a book outside. Watch a sunset. Explore a path in the woods. Enjoy a cigar. Focus on phasing out everything except what you are doing RIGHT THEN. Then you'll get it.
  13. Commreman

    Commreman Faith, Family, Fitness, and Frets Supporting Member

    Feb 12, 2005
    New Jersey
    Try having an attitude of gratitude. This did wonders for me through many ****ed up situations in my life. Try first being thankful for the air you breathe, and then just take it from there. Write down the things you are thankful for and refer and add to this list everyday. You could even start with "well breakfast didin't suck today" or something like that. Just simply acknowledging how blessed you really are and sincerely thanking God for all you have and all He has done for you will work wonders in your life. Helping others with no expectation of reward is another great way to get out of a rut. It makes you step outside yourself and realize that no matter what it is or what you do, we are all valuable and have something to contribute.