Being Pushed Out - What to Do

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by oldrocker, Mar 13, 2006.

  1. oldrocker


    Feb 13, 2005
    Long Island, NY
    Sorry for the rant, but I need to share this:

    I started playing with a group of guys about 6 months ago. They had an add on Craigslist, I answerred, and auditioned and have been playing with them ever since. I'm no great bass player, but I can handle most of the classic rock covers they want to play, and they have told me how happy they are that I am playing with them

    They apparently have a history of going through guitar players becaue the group leader is a strict rhythm only guitar guy, who seem to have trouble remembering chord changes. So lead guitar guy gets frustrated and leaves or confronts the rhythm guy to improve and is forced out.

    So, in November, I witness one guitar player being ousted and new one coming in. The new guitar player is pretty sloppy himself so he has no problems with the rhythm guy missing his marks.

    We're not playing out so I'm still having fun.

    Fast forward to last week, the new guitar guy, who apparenty was in a working band once, is pushing us to play out, the 1st step is to play an open mic night in a local bar. My concern is that we only have 2 songs, about 6 minutes worth of music, an we're not always tight even on these 2 songs, the rhythm guiar player almost always misses the endings.

    I expressed my feeling that we should be better prepared before we play out, but I was not heard. Push comes to shove, I refuse to play the open mic thing. That plus me missing the next practice, for my sons 16th BDay, has the band leader pissed at me. I did give notice tha I would miss practice, and have never missed a practice without giving ample notice.

    I happen to be up on Crailist this weekend, and see a new add for a bass player for this band. The add stresses the need for commitment.

    Has this ever happenned to any of you guys. Am I too anal, should I have played the open mic thing? Do I wait and see if they find a new bass player, of do I just quit now???
  2. georgestrings

    georgestrings Banned

    Nov 5, 2005
    Sounds to me like bagging it would be no great loss to you - and if they're running an ad behind your back, I'd be done with them just for that...

    - georgestrings
  3. buzzbass

    buzzbass Shoo Shoo Retarded Flu !

    Apr 23, 2003
    Yep, this happened to me last month. The guitar player somehow tunrned around and projected all of his short coming on me, when I got my list of "reasons". F*ck 'em, you don't need them anyway. 6 months and only 2 songs, sounds like they were no great prize anyway. have fun with it and bust balss back. Confront them on the ad, and see them sweat. They obviously must think you're stupid, putting that ad up and all. Time to throw some sh*t back in their direction.
  4. It may be too late for this band - but adopting a 'go with the flow' attitude might be helpful.

    I do understand not wanting to put an unfinished product out there - but I have also seen the positive results of simply "going for it". More times then not, after 'going for it' you have a much clearer picture of what you need to do next time - AND you usually have a good time doing it. So I would say to learn you parts, keep your chops up, open your mind to on the fly improv and play as much as you can! The more to you do it, the better you get at it.

  5. ebe9


    Feb 26, 2006
    South Africa
    Ditch them..........they really do not sound as if they are worth the effort that you are putting in.

    And the ad and going behind your back is really in poor taste. I can't believe they would not confront you about it.
  6. Frankly it sounds like this band is going nowhere. Like someone else said, only having two songs close to ready (and not even perfect by your description) is pretty weak. Add in all the personel changes and it's a recipe for "never getting out of the basement."

    As far as doing the open mic, if you feel like even staying in the band by that point, I would go ahead and do it. Look at it this way...if the show really bombs, it will force the other people in the band to take a good hard look at things and try to improve. Best case scenario, the show goes well and you have fun. What's to lose?
  7. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    6 months and two're not leaving much.

    Don't give them a chance to push you out. Quit first.
  8. SuperDuck


    Sep 26, 2000
    Yeah, if you're in a band that has that much trouble with two songs, you need a new band.
  9. smperry

    smperry Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 3, 2003
    Bay Area, CA
    Endorsing Artist: Martin Keith Guitars
    If you're interested in getting better and playing out and having a good time..leave (IMO).

  10. cheezewiz


    Mar 27, 2002
    Run. Far away. Two songs in sixth months? Your leader/rhythm guitarist may qualify for disability benefits.
    No offense meant at all, but most bands are capable of knocking out at least 2 or 3 songs per rehearsal (at a minimum). Find someone a little more skilled, and even if it pushes you harder in your playing, it'll be a good thing in the long run.
  11. Hollow Man

    Hollow Man Supporting Member

    Apr 28, 2003
    Springfield, VA
    Doesn't sound like you'd be missing a thing if you left and never looked back. You're in NY... there are billions of players around with similar musical tastes who would be happy to play with someone who's knowledgeable enough to be unsatisfied with sloppy play.
  12. Aside from the 2 songs in 6 months issue, you clearly made the right choice about your son's birthday and if your bandmates can't appreciate the priority, that is their problem, not yours.
  13. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    what they said.
  14. Kelly Lee

    Kelly Lee Yeah, I'm a guy! Supporting Member

    Feb 17, 2004
    Marana, AZ, USA
    I wouldn't even let them know that you found the add on Craiglist.

    Just walk in and say "Sorry guys, this isn't going nowhere, I'm out!" :p
  15. Mike N

    Mike N Missing the old TB

    Jan 28, 2001
    New York
    Answer the ad and ask for an audition.

    F**k with their heads a little.
  16. Wesley R

    Wesley R Supporting Member

    Most of my bands had had gigs within the first month, some within the week. I don't think we ever hit the stage (first gig)with less than 20 some songs and most would have been more.
    Slam it together in a low pressure gig and see who can perform and who can't. could be fun.

    Best of Luck,
    Wesley R.
  17. rllefebv


    Oct 17, 2000
    Newberg, Oregon
    Absolutely!! Also, while I agree with most of the sentiment here, and understand your hesitancy, I will throw this out there...

    The only way to [prepare for/get good at/get better at] playing out is to... well... play out!

    Okay... 'prepare for' would also include rehearsal and practice, but you see where I'm going? I am in a roots/rock band with a guitar player who used to lament the fact that he always flopped on gigs, (he was very wooden and would get a bit lost), but now he's a giggin' fool! Just took a bit of getting used to...

  18. Keeaumoku


    Dec 29, 2004
    Two sloppy songs in 6 months? It's not my intention to pour salt on an open wound here, but with my 'work-in-progress' band, which has been practicing most Sunday afternoons and Monday evenings, and we've been together for a little over 7 months now... we have 82 songs on our list, and they're as tight as a spandex thong on Oprah Winfrey... :eek: With this band, we've played in front of a crowd only five times (private fund-raiser parties, a wedding reception at some rich guy's beachfront home, etc...), and this past Saturday night, the guys sat-in on the second set with me and my 'regular' band. We used this opportunity as an audition at a rock 'n roll bar that a lot of bands play. Apparently we passed the audition, 'cuz we got booked for a couple of dates in April...

    ...I think you've answered your own question: quit now. Don't get discouraged, and most importantly... don't give up! Keep working on your instrument, 'cuz if you do, one day you just might find yourself in a position of leverage: good bass players are a desirable commodity, and I think it's safe to say that there's a truckload of TBers who just might agree with me... :D

    I'm at a point now where I have other bands calling me to play with them. Good bass players are hard to find even out here in Paradise. If my schedule permits it, I will... but I won't accept less than a C-note, and that's for no more than two 45-minute sets. Any time over that costs more. It goes back to that 'leverage' thing... ;)
  19. oldrocker


    Feb 13, 2005
    Long Island, NY
    Thanks guys for all the input. I've decided not to play with this band anymore. Just the action of the band leader going behind my back and adverstising for a new bass player without confronting me first is enough for me. I will miss playing with the drummer, but I think I can find another group of guys to play with.

    Yes, I could have just went with the flow, and It would be fun to play out, my concerns, which were not addressed were that the whole open mic thing, and the songs we were to play, was not decided as a group, but conceived by the lead guitar guy and passed down to the rest of the band by the rhythm guitar band leader, and that the songs we have not worked enough on the songs were going to play.

    We actually do play more than 2 songs, but we only have 2 that we agree on the song structure. We usually play some songs from our "set" list and then the guitar player gets bored and jams to whatever he comes up with, as rest of us try to play along with him. These jam songs change from week to week and never seem to make it to our set list.

    And, just to give you an idea, the 2 songs are Tush by ZZ Top, so far we have never hit the ending together, and Mustang Sally, where we have no set end but we wait until the guitar player gets tired of playing solo verses. My point is we could make these songs tight if we actually worked on them.
  20. dirtgroove


    Jan 10, 2003
    Taipei, Taiwan
    2 covers in 6 months:eek:
    All that lost time:eek: . Good god man- get yourself a backbone... ...if you're even semi serious about improving you do not need these people.