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Best man speech for wedding tomorrow

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Spikeh, Sep 23, 2005.

  1. Spikeh

    Spikeh Sex Strings

    Just finished it... quite nervous! What do you guys think? I'm terrible at jokes or speaking publically... gah. I used a few jokes from the 'net... but I tried to fit them around what I know of the bride and groom :)
  2. Philbiker

    Philbiker Pat's the best!

    Dec 28, 2000
    Northern Virginia, USA
    too long.
  3. I like it but trim it down about 35%
  4. SuperDuck


    Sep 26, 2000
    Just remember, if you have "wait for applause" in your notes and nobody claps, you have to keep going anyway. In public speaking, I've found that planning on having applause breaks will eventually go awry and cause an awkward pause when things don't go your way. (It's happened to me and sooner or later will happen to everybody.) I've found it's better to keep going as if there won't be any applause, and then give it space when it comes.

    Whenever I see someone planning time for applause, I think of Seymour Skinner's acceptance speech for his parking space. :D
  5. Spikeh

    Spikeh Sex Strings


    Thanks guys - I've never done a public speech before, so I apprecaite the comments.
  6. Tash


    Feb 13, 2005
    Bel Air Maryland
    You could do what the best man at my wedding did: get so sloshed you screw the entire thing up and leave the guests wondering what the hell you were talking about for the last 10 minutes while the happy couple has snuck off to consumate the marriage in the church basement...
  7. Good, a bit too long though. Trim it down...and theres an age inconsistency. You stated he was 25 years older than you, but then when you were ten you had a 25 year old man throwing you around the room.
  8. Don't_Fret

    Don't_Fret Justin Schornstein

    Dec 10, 2003
    Um... :eyebrow:
  9. Spikeh

    Spikeh Sex Strings

    Hehe... yeah, that's on purpose... he's about 10 years older than me, but I was taking the mick out of his age with the 25 years thing ;P It'll get a reaction from him like "cheeky little bugger" or something ;)
    I'm hoping to be quite drunk by then anyway ;) I'll need some dutch courage, cos I'm gonna bugger it up anyway!
  10. lol... Skinner...
  11. wulf


    Apr 11, 2002
    Oxford, UK
    I don't think it's that long. You might want to cut it a bit if it's going down like a lead balloon but otherwise I think it's fine. Save most of your drinking until afterwards - when Dutch courage becomes nissed as a pewt, you'll have real problems getting the words out and there's not an easy way to go back.

    BTW, I remember the best man's speech at my wedding, specifically the part near the end where he commented: "There's just one thing left to say and that is FORNICATION! <shocked silence> ... FORNICATION! ... For'n'ication like this, I'd like to propose a toast to the bride and groom!". The shock value may vary on the setting but, in the largely Christian group of guests at my wedding it really did catch most people by suprise!

  12. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    You have to add something about that crazy night in vegas with those two strippers. make sure you let it be known its a joke.
  13. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    Technically a toast is supposed to be a toast without elements of a roast. That's from my days as a speech comm major...but whatever..be yourself. I bawled when I did this at my brother's wedding long agol

    brad cook
  14. Murf


    Mar 28, 2001
    FORNICATION!!!...trust me, start with this...ie "ladies & gentlemen I'd like to speak about a very serious topic which has to be brought out into the open..I'm talking about FORNICATION....so,.....fornication (for an occasion...geddit ;) such as this I'd like you to raise your glasses..etc..etc

    good icebreaker

    (although it may only work with an irish accent :D
  15. bit long,could scrap at least two comedy paragraphs

    and I don't know how far your experience runs with speaking in class or something, you probably had to present something in front of class one time or another at school/college, but what works better for me, is just noting the topics, prewritten speeches often have a very fabricated feel to them, if there's a hiccup or some disturbance it's really hard to act on it when it's prewritten, but if you're just talking away a bit it's really easy. Also, with pre-written you will have a tendency to look at the paper, not the people, not good.

    few last things, be sure you're balanced on both legs, a lot of people are nervous and put one leg behind the other or balance and 'wobble' on one leg, you gotta be at peace, try to put your hands either on something before you(table/glass) or besides you, not behind you or crossed over your chest.

    oh and don't fiddle with a pen or touch your nose or whatever all the time :)

    you'll do fine anyway, but if you have these things in your mind, it'll look more confident which gets better reactions, hope I weren't critical or anything just see what fits you on the moment, and if you're completely drunk, well most of the guests will be too won't they?

    good luck, and wish the couple good luck from all of talkbass
  16. I find the most appropriate speech comes from "Forest Gump".

    RUN Forest! RUUUUUUNNN!!

    Its not too late unless they've already consummated the wedding on the way to the reception in the limo.

  17. It's good, but I have to admit I skipped the paragraph "One of the prominent memories..." because, well, I don't care. But then again, that's probably because I don't know you guys.

    Oh, and speak loud enough:)
  18. trog


    Nov 8, 2003
    I've been to two weddings in my entire life.

    At the first, the best man read out a longish speech which he'd written earlier.

    At the second, the best man was drunk. He stood up for about 30 seconds, said something about how he wouldn't mind a honeymoon with the bride, and directed everyone to the bar.

    The second speech was great. The first was boring.
  19. I'll say. Sounds like my kind of speech! :D
  20. You'll never get through that on your own. Hire Leslie Nielson to do it for you. He'll do a good job.