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Best train wreck you've ever seen onstage

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Scottie, Jan 26, 2006.

  1. Scottie

    Scottie Banned

    Oct 14, 2005
    Getting back into the music scene, me and my bandmates have been rehashing old stories for the millionth time, and came up with one we had long since forgot about...

    Which leads me to ask...

    What is the best trainwreck you've ever seen onstage... the MOST ENTERTAINING, FUNNIEST, MOST DISASTEROUS onstage scene... ever...

    Well mine goes back to late Sept. 2001....

    So these 3 drunk punks take to the stage. These guys, when sober, were kind of like a harder sounding version of the Replacements. Very kick ass band. Not this night...

    The drummer counts off with his sticks.. 1..2..3.. and about that time, the guitar players guitar strap snaps and his guitar hits the floor.... it was all I could do not to piss my pants. The guy then pulls some duct tape out and makes this awful duct tape knot on his strap, and they make it thru the first song... not too, too bad..

    Then they go onto play Wonderwall by Oasis of all things... the bassist, about this time yells "hey a**hole... I dont know this one"... but the singer kept playing anyway. The bassist plays off key the whole time. Was terrible.

    The next song begins, and the bassists bass amp blows a fuse or something. You hear a pop, and smoke comes out. He then starts messing with it, and somehow got it to work again... but he didnt get another minute into the song before the bass amp literally exploded... hehe

    So then the bassist takes the bass and gets on the singer's mic...he hold his bass up like sacrificial lamb and says... matter of factly ... "this bass represents all that is wrong in this world... this bass has a name and it is Osama Bin Laden... GOD BLESS THE TALIBAN"... the whole crowd died and became deathly silent. This is about 2 weeks after 911. He then slams his bass down onto the floor and jumps off the stage and starts stomping his bass saying "I HATE YOU.... I HATE YOU...". His girlfriend then picks the bass up and puts it in her lap and they sit in the crowd as the drummer and guitarist press on... the girlfriend then gets on stage with the bass and pretends to play it...

    now i am in hysterics at this time.. i dont know if you guys think this is funny, but it was a riot...

    after a while... the bassist gets back onstage and they start making out onstage. the drummer then tells them to knock it off. The bassist tells the drummer to bring it, and the drummer stands up, only to fall backward on his ass.

    The bassist goes toward the drummer, and the guitarist steps in the middle and his guitar falls off onto the ground, and falls off the stage... the owner turned on the lights and it was broken up....

    That story was just great. i Miss those guys.
  2. seventhson

    seventhson Supporting Member

    Aug 12, 2005
    Seattle, WA
    well live on TV...

    I remember watching Evanescence do an award show (maybe MTV). The singer was plunking away on the piano, singing really nicely on their #1 hit (a slow serious song), then the rest of the band comes in (either on the chorus or 2nd verse...i don't really remember), and they were not down tuned as they were supposed to be. The guitarist was hitting power chords that were in the wrong key...lol! It was so awful that the singer started laughing and the sound guy had to turn the guitarist ans bassist off.

    Then I also remember seeing Ashlee Simpson's performance on Saturday Night Live when it was happening. I couldn't f!@#ing believe it!

    Never really seen a train wreck truly live before.
  3. Cerb


    Sep 27, 2004
    I opened up this thread to post about seeing Ashlee Simpson on SNL, but it seems that I've been beaten to it. As for a trainwreck that I have seen live, it has yet to happen.
  4. speaking of tv, the worst i can remember was around 1998 mtv video music awards and white zombie was the final performance. they were playing more human than human. and something happened with the timing that the synth stuff was off time with the drums, and j the guitarist was playing out of time, rob zombie was just pissed off and looked like he wanted to just walk off the stage. i heard him say "ahh f*ck it" at the endof a verse.
  5. Akami

    Akami Four on the floor

    Mar 6, 2005
    I was thinking of so many things I've had happen onstage, but this is the best!

    Great story and great job telling it!
  6. chaosMK


    May 26, 2005
    Albuquerque, NM
    Hi-fi into an old tube amp
    Ive had a ton of train wrecks happening due to my guitarists budget/economy equipment. You name it, it's happened. When there is a wreck, I just throw out some devil horns and say "blaaaaaaaah!" to the audience.
  7. Oh I've got one. My guitarist's crybaby wah decided that it wasn't going to work when switched off about halfway through a solo. So as he stomps the pedal at the end of said burnin' solo, it acts as a mute and just cuts him off. The look of sheer terror on his face as he realized he had to play the rest of the set with his wah on (it was somewhere near the dead center of his pedal board) was priceless.
  8. Anyone at Ozzfest last august '05 in San Bernardino? This may not have been a wreck due to lack of skill by any means, but the show was seriously interrupted. I'm sure you've heard the conflict between Iron Maiden and Sharon Osbourne, but if not, long story short: Maiden pissed off Sharon, so she cut the power to EVERYTHING, jumbotrons, amps, lights.... at key points in the chorus of a song, when the crowd sings along. They came back on in about 20 seconds, but this happened maybe six times, and you could feel it interrupt the momentum the band had going. Huge fires erupted all over the lawn seating, riots broke out (Nat'l Guard called in), and Ozzy was taken to his helicopter just in case a riot broke out, he could escape. I was in the lawn during this, amidst the fires and violence and my friend was backstage, hence the Ozzy info. Great time.
    Iron Maiden got pissed as hell, and this anger caused them to play the best I've ever heard them, it was amazing. Things more or less settled down, and Sabbath took the stage, it was heaven from there...
  9. britrit


    Jan 22, 2006
    I really haven't seen any, but I've been in one... not as bad as most of the ones said here, but still pretty bad. We were playing Sunshine of your Love by Cream, with about 8 guitarists, a drummer and bassist (me.) We only really had one practice where we all knew the parts, right before the song. The drummer had absolutely no timing skills, so he would have to stop in the middle of a song, listen to everyone else, and come in again. He did this repeatedly. Then at the end, about half of the group finished playing, and half went on. I don't even know which group was right, just that we sucked.
  10. johnvice


    Sep 7, 2004
    I was subbing in a punk band (called "The Flys"). I figure music is music, right ? And punk chicks are hot! Also, it did not take much effort to learn their show.

    We practice once and I was teaching the drummer about funk and we worked through a few James Brown grooves after the practice.

    So it's the big show and in the last song of the first (and only) set, the guitarist prepares for his big solo by jumping off the stage to the floor, landing on his knees and hitting the first sustained note high up the neck. It was very impressive to see... He must have jumped 15 feet!

    The problem was his guitar cord was only 10 feet long.

    When no sound came out of his guitar he looked back with this face of emabarassed horror like his mother caught him masterbating. He started fiddling with his amp not realising the problem.

    Thinking quickly I yelled to the drummer "James Brown" and we went into the "Sex Machine" groove. The singer (who had previously scoffed at my tape of 'Soul Brother #1') started to sing it and the crowd loved it.
  11. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta (Grant Park!)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    2 comes to mind:

    One was where Bill Fahey was performing with just him and a guitar. To know Bill, you'd know that his mind became frazzled from all of the drugs. Anyway, he went to change guitars for the next song, and plugged one guitar into the other. Started to play and got nothing out of the amp. Then he just sat there for about 6 minutes or so before the tech came out and put the cord into the amp.

    There was this one band called Mesh, and the lead guitarist/ singer fancied himself to be a guitar god. :rollno: Keep in mind, he once wanted to play "It's Your Thing" by the Isleys with a slide. :scowl: Anyway, he decided that he'd like to hit the stage tripping on acid! He played the same 2 notes during the first song. It literally sounded like "dee doo dee doo". So, the bassist stops the song and says, "F*%k it, let's move on." Next song, you guessed it, the SAME 2 NOTES! :D Again, the bassist steps in, but he's really pissed now, so he tells the band, "Look, we're killing the room. Let's go to an easier song and catch our bearings." Next song, Frank proceeds to play the afore mentioned same 2 notes! Mike, the bassist, stops the music, apologizes to the crowd, and actually hyped up the crowd for the following band. They break down their gear, and as they're leaving the stage, Frank goes, "Hey man, I didn't get to do my solo." :rollno: :D Tad, the drummer, immediately lunges towards Frank, and it took about 5 minutes to get him to release Frank from the headlock. :bassist:
  12. bassmonkeee

    bassmonkeee Supporting Member

    Sep 13, 2000
    Decatur, GA

    That kinda sounds like when The Rev Horton Heat played Athens about 10 years ago. The drummer decided to drop acid before the show and freaked out in the middle of the set and ran backstage. The rest of the band went back to get him, and the drummer remained for the rest of the set--with a visibly bloody nose. :D

    And, of course, then there was the time that Paul Gilbert of Mr Big got his poodle hair stuck in his pick-drill when they opened for Rush at the Omni. Billy Sheehan had to play an extra long bass solo while they untangled Paul. That's rock and roll. :bassist:
  13. The Owl

    The Owl

    Aug 14, 2005
    Atlanta GA
    It was hellacious at the time but in retrospect, fairly hilarious. I was at a jam night at some club in Cambridge MA circa 1996 or so I think, well anyway, this dude gets up on stage trying to be Elvis and doing a pretty horrible job of it (forgetting words right and left, while me and the drummer were trying so hard to hold it together). Well anyway, I crawled out of that wreckage with some steam scalding and a real dislike for Elvis impersonators of all stripes!

    Another time, circa 1985, I was doing a gig with an original band (as ageetarist) and I swear, the bassist (who wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer to start with) had 2 or 3 brews before the show, and literally forgot nearly EVERY song in the set (stuff we'd been playing for MONTHS!!!!), I had to call out chord changes and notes to him. That was the longest 40 minutes of my life! Me and the singer left that band not long after and started something of our own.

    Also, although amusing at times but in the end rather sad, a Jaco Pastorious solo gig I saw in LA circa 1983, you could tell he was high on something or other, he'd stop songs suddenly, meander around the stage and do these bizarre things like yelling into his bass pickups with delay and fuzz on, while his bandmates were going ***??????
  14. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta (Grant Park!)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    I would kill to have seen that!
  15. The Owl

    The Owl

    Aug 14, 2005
    Atlanta GA
    I wonder if he lost his artist endorsement with Milwaukee Power Tools over that? :D :ninja:
  16. I saw Mars Volta open for RHCP once. During a guitar solo, the guitarist was going all out, and his strap broke, his guitar flying into the crowd. But the solo was still coming through the PA, as was the rest of the song. They weren't playing live! It was recorded! I thought that that was so lame.

    Plus it was funny to watch them panic, knowing that the audience knew that they were faking. I didn't Mars Volta at the time, anyway.

    I also went to this concert for this local band once, the guitarist played almost the entire song 1 beat ahead of the rest of the band, and didn't even realize it! :rollno:
  17. vegaas


    Nov 6, 2001
    This was my first gig way back when I was sixteen.

    Our singer kept forgetting the words to the songs we were playing. The whole band was getting very frustrated with him. Any way towards the end of our set we are in the middle of playing Children Of The Grave and notice I no longer hear guitar. I then see our guitar player walking off stage. I thought that he was so disgusted by our singer that he gave up right then and there. What did I do? I wish I could say I kept right on playing, but I didnt. I threw my bass down very hard on the stage and was going to confront my guitar player. Well after I have thrown the bass, to huge thud by the way, I see the guitar player coming back on stage. I am like ***? We end up behind the drummer and are cussing and swearing at one other for everyone to hear. It turns out he broke a string and was going to get his other guitar that for some reason he didnt have on stage.

    Beat that first gig story! :bassist:
  18. daofktr

    daofktr irritating, yet surly

    Feb 15, 2005
    aurora, IN

    first, hearing RHCP on letterman or some such other late night show.
    kiedis was soooooo off pitch, i couldn't bear to listen...but i did anyway.
    it was physically painful.

    second, boys II men were being interviewed at a parade, or super bowl, or some other stupidity, and they were asked to sing a certain song.
    they sucked ass through a straw.
    they were visibly embarrassed, and made some lame excuse about not practicing it recently.

    third, i played a benefit for katrina, when we whipped out 'little wing', which i had never played with this band, and almost never played, anyway...i butchered it throughout the entire song...in front of a bunch of local musicians i wanted to impress.
    i was soooo bad, i wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
    now it's our best song...i guess i learnt it.
  19. gravaged


    Dec 9, 2005
    Funny stuff in this thread :D

    I once saw Erik Rutan(one of these big death metal guys, guitar and vocals with the band Hate Eternal, whom I don't care for at all but that's irrelevant) screw up royally. He finished a verse of singing and backed away from the mic a little bit for some windmill-style headbanging (he has very long hair)... he should have backed up farther.

    Everyone who was paying attention probably saw his hair keep going after he stopped; it wrapped around the microphone stand like one of those tether-balls from the grade school playground. He didn't look up to see it. In preparation for his big guitar lead, he jerked his head back to toss his hair out of his face. Imagine how that turned out :)

    No slick saving maneuvers to continue the song; microphone stand crashes into him. Guitar playing ceases, pick is lost, he basically fell down, etc etc. I can only imagine being in his shoes... you toss your hair back to start shredding on your axe and you just see your microphone charging at your face!
  20. seanm

    seanm I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize! Supporting Member

    Feb 19, 2004
    Ottawa, Canada
    I love this thread! Makes all the train wreaks I have been involved in seem trivial by comparison.