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Best way to quit my band

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by eotpr, Sep 22, 2008.

  1. eotpr


    Jun 25, 2007
    I am thinking about quitting my band. I have two. Does anyone have any great suggestions on how to do it?
  2. K-Frog


    Feb 6, 2002
    Camden, AR, USA
    what is the situation?
  3. bassman314

    bassman314 I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process...

    Mar 13, 2005
    Bay Area, CA
    1) Do it in person. No emails, phone calls, or MySpace messages... just do it at rehearsal
    2) Do it soon. The sooner you do it, the sooner they can move on without you
    3) Do it professionally. Don't burn any bridges. You never know when you might join up in the future.
  4. Spinal Tapper

    Spinal Tapper

    Nov 15, 2007
    Don't burn any bridges. You never know who you may need as a backup musician one day or who might need you for a paying gig.

    Then again, if they're just a bunch of a$$holes, I would tell em to take a long walk off a short pier...with their instruments in hand!
  5. EclecticElectrk


    Aug 26, 2008
    why do you want to leave?
  6. salcott

    salcott Supporting Member

    Aug 22, 2007
    NYC, Inwood.
    Be willing to give notice and play gigs for a reasonable amount of time; 2-4 weeks depending on how busy the band is and how grownup they are about the whole thing.
  7. eotpr


    Jun 25, 2007
    Here is part of it.

    Also I don't think that the lead player respects my time or me. I also don't think that we are really progressing. Right now we are auditioning a new guitar player that is really good but lives at least an hour away. I hate for him to take the gig and then have me quit. He is really good, there are few guitar players that really impress me but he is one of them, and I don't want to see him get screwed.

    One of the things besides the thread that I have posted the link to above is that he just got back from playing with his family for several days and could not rehearse but now I got a chance to be with mine he doesn't like it. I don't get to see my family when school is in session except on the weekends but I take time out of what I could spend with them to accomodate his schedule because his job takes him out of town two or three days a week. That is all he works and gets the rest of the time with his family. We made plans for this Saturday and he expects me to cancel so that I can support his rehearsal. These rehearsals go on for several hours. ( 5 or 8)

    Right now there are no gigs planned.
  8. ThunderV

    ThunderV Is getting yelled at by his cat!! Supporting Member

    Mar 26, 2007
    Brunswick, OH
    1-Tell them the truth, without acting rude
    2-give them a time frame, so that you don't leave them high and dry.
    3-suggest possible replacements, help them look.
    4-if they are a$$holes they will tell you to forget the time frame, don't be surprised if they are angry. A$$holes always get snippy when it comes to ego. They will get over it.
  9. Jamasaurus


    Sep 10, 2007
    Naples, FL
    Alright, lucky for you dude, I just quit my band and I can tell you the best way to go about it. First, wait for your band's next gig, proceed to get super wasted and break into ridiculous bass solos whenever it is most inappropriate. I'm talking slapping, tapping, harmonics, whatever you think would make your lame band's songs sound super awesome-ified. Then when the set is almost over(if they haven't already stopped the show), scream, "I'm so over this *!&%ing stupid band!" and storm off the stage. This method worked for me and I'll guarantee it will work for you too. Good luck!:bassist::bassist::bassist:
  10. Joel S.

    Joel S. Reserved for future witty use...

    Jul 9, 2008
    yea, sounds like a crappy situation, especially since he's gonna shift the blame like that. I've had situations like that, where we muffed the start, stopped and recomposed ourselves with a brief apology ("sorry, apparently we just started playing a week ago and I'm still trying to figure out chords"), and others where we just kept wrecking till we got back in line and rocked out the rest of the song.

    I will say, don't change what you're playing if you KNOW it's right and he's just an idiot. I don't take kindly to being rudely yelled at like that, so I probably would've told him off on stage.

    As far as how to quit, just be honest and respectful. Don't blow smoke, and don't burn bridges. If you feel not being able to see your family is key, tell them that. I'm sorry, but family comes before douchebag lead guitarists, if he doesn't like that he can get bent.
  11. eotpr


    Jun 25, 2007
    I would like to do it with a bit of class and panache.
  12. bassman314

    bassman314 I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process...

    Mar 13, 2005
    Bay Area, CA
    After reading the post, I reiterate my prior post.

    You have very valid concerns regarding the family issue. Double standards are about as unprofessional as you can get.

    Either way, tell them soon, and do it in a way that lets them know you are done, but limits the hard feelings. If you stay cool and professional, and he goes down the path of "His Royal PITA", you've done what you can.
  13. eotpr


    Jun 25, 2007
    I love playing with the band I intend to stay in. I dread going to practice with the one I intend to quit.
  14. GM60466


    May 20, 2006
    Land of Lakland
    Release a album, and call it McCartney. It worked for Paul

  15. ThunderV

    ThunderV Is getting yelled at by his cat!! Supporting Member

    Mar 26, 2007
    Brunswick, OH

    Like I said if they are A$$holes, there is no wrong way to do it.:bassist:
  16. cnltb


    May 28, 2005
  17. Joel S.

    Joel S. Reserved for future witty use...

    Jul 9, 2008
    You should quit ASAP then. I'd bring it up at the next practice before you start, be sure to tell them you'll stick around until they find a replacement (if you want to that is), and that you can help bring a new guy up to speed.

    Or if the guitarist get's snippy, you can tell him to jam a hot tube where the sun don't shine and just walk out.
  18. Nope to any other suggestions. ^^^^^ This is the way to go. Probably take care of any future band commitments at the same time. ;)
  19. OtterOnBass


    Oct 5, 2007
    I found my schedule too tight and had to leave one of my bands. I was in it partly for gig money and partly as a favor to my mom's friend (cool guy.) So, when I decided I couldn't make the time, I told one guy on the way to practice (the bandleader who I carpooled with) and then the rest of the guys at the end of practice (at least, the guys who made it that night.) I didn't make any squabbles about stuff that drove me nuts in the band, I just let them know my schedule was too tight and I needed to quit. I said I'd play the upcoming shows, if they couldn't get anybody, but they contacted the previous bassist and he could do it. Not too bad, no hard feelings, I hope.
  20. whitedk57


    May 5, 2005
    Franklin, NC
    Call them up when you're drunk, and let loose a profanity-laced tirade! Yeah!

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