1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

Bill Gates & GM rippin' on each other!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by P. Aaron, Jan 23, 2003.

  1. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Got this in an E-Mail. It might be old to some of you.

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
    computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "if GM had kept up with
    the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
    $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating: "if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
    driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
    new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
    have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the car windows,
    shut it off, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
    For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuver such as a left turn would cause your
    car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
    reinstall the engine.

    5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT",
    but then you would have to buy more seats.

    6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
    five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would only run on five
    percent of the roads.

    7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
    replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

    8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.

    9. The airbag system would ask "are you SURE?" before deploying.

    10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
    refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
    the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
    McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor
    want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the
    car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a
    target for investigation by the Justice Dept.

    12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
    drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
    manner as the old car.

    13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
  2. moley


    Sep 5, 2002
    Hampshire, UK
    Yeah, that is quite old. But funny, nonetheless.
  3. bassmonkeee


    Sep 13, 2000
    Decatur, GA
  4. Mike N

    Mike N Missing the old TB Staff Member Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2001
    Spencerport, New York
    Alot of mid 80's Ford cars/trucks had a red light labeled "Engine" that was for the oil pressure and temperature sender. The alternator had its own seperate light.
  5. ARA punk

    ARA punk

    Jul 11, 2001
    USA, Shelby, NC
    Hilarious. I think its actually been posted on here before. Not that i mind. Great joke.
  6. Brendan

    Brendan Supporting Member

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Are me and you the only guys who regularly visit Snopes?!
  7. bassmonkeee


    Sep 13, 2000
    Decatur, GA
  8. Brendan

    Brendan Supporting Member

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    In the words of PE: Don't Believe the Hype.
  9. DougD

    DougD Bassman7654

    Sep 19, 2002
    North Las Vegas NV
    And Mac's are not twice as fast as the pc!
  10. bassmonkeee


    Sep 13, 2000
    Decatur, GA
    Not anymore, anyway.

Share This Page