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BL absolutely will NOT answer phone. Had to quit via text......

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Ritchie_Darling, Jan 25, 2017.


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  1. Ritchie_Darling

    Ritchie_Darling Bass @ AZ Supporting Member

    May 22, 2006
    Arizona
    Impulse buyer...
    I didn't want to. But there was no other solution.

    Apparently, I am the only person in the band that talks on the phone.

    Tried to call the band leader no less than a dozen times over the last several days.

    But, he will not answer. I started to think about it. And, I do not believe we have ever spoken on the phone.

    He will text. And write a novel doing it. So, after nearly a week without an answer, I quit.

    Via text.... I've decided not to feel bad about it. And he said he understood.

    So, there ya have it. :thumbsup:
     
  2. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    I am fascinated by this new breed that are incapable of answering the phone.
     
  3. A lot of times I prefer texting or email instead of a phone call for quick questions and what not.
    Although I do answer my phone if called by a number or contact I recognize.
    Contrary to the TalkBass 'ethics committee' standards, I have quit a band or two via text and also been
    fired via text or email. Good news is, I lived to tell about it. Sometimes the next best thing is fine.
     
  4. pacojas

    pacojas "FYYA BUN"

    Oct 11, 2009
    MEXICANADAMERICA
    i'd do everything via text, if possible.
     
    ptuckerbass, line6man, grinx and 4 others like this.
  5. Abso-friggin'-lutely. Amen, brother.

    And why is it that when these people finally decide to return a call a week later, it's always from a mile-long concrete highway tunnel forty feet underground so they get two words in and then the phone breaks up and goes dead? :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2017
  6. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Connecticut
    There are times text is good. But for important things, either phone, or better, in person.
     
  7. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    the Cali Intergalctic Mind Space
    Song Surgeon slow downer software- full 4 hour demo
    Texting leaves a trail like email.
     
  8. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Connecticut
    I hear that excuse all the time. Speaking to someone requires actual effort and not hiding behind your phone. If it is important enough to leave a paper trail, follow up the conversation with a confirming emailing, like any professional in the business world would. Most people I have seen who prefer texts are not comfortable face to face. People who interact face to face have no issue with using texts and emails.
     
    Pilgrim, packhowitzer, hintz and 12 others like this.
  9. Bodeanly

    Bodeanly Supporting Member

    Mar 20, 2015
    Chicago
    Generally, if I cannot communicate my idea to someone within five 'back and forths,' it's time for an actual conversation (except at work, during sexy time, at funerals, and/ or at an all you can eat buffet).

    The easiest way to quit a band is to just stop showing up to practice/ gigs.
     
    Cheez, Leo Smith, Engle and 7 others like this.
  10. saltydude

    saltydude

    Aug 15, 2011
    boston CANADA
    Get used to it. My only friends that still call more than text are my older friends 50+YO's. We're living in the age of convenience. Caller ID has drastically changed the was we communicate. Before you'd have to answer the phone. It could be important. Our basic human interactive skills are fading away.
     
    Charlzm, smogg, 1954bassman and 4 others like this.
  11. sevenyearsdown

    sevenyearsdown Supporting Member

    Jan 29, 2008
    Sanborn, NY
    I guess at 38 years old I'm on the edge of the group that is both dependent on their mobile device for everyday things, but yet can still put it down for long enough stretches to interact with other human beings on a verbal level.

    I had a six piece band going for a few years that I was the leader of, and one thing I came to realize is that if you communicate with others on whichever form they are most comfortable with - you will get things accomplished much easier. One guy prefered email, others were fine with group texting, and one person rung me quite often. In that context I had no problem doing what worked to try to get 6 people with busy lives all on the same page. My own personality is quite introverted, so when others prefer informal communication - I completely understand.

    But outside of scenarios like the one above, there are times that I'll just tell someone to call me or I'll ring them when I get a text that I think is a little too important of a subject to hammer out back and forth with my thumbs. I'll also request to meet in person if I feel there are things that need to said face to face.
     
  12. PauFerro

    PauFerro

    Jun 8, 2008
    United States
    I am fortunate that all my musicians are in my 40+ age category. They call me and email me back, but also know when to text.

    I did fire a guitarist over email once. But this was because he was simply incapable of civil discourse over the phone or in person. And in the email, I indicated that I normally would not let a person go via email, but our past conversations seemed to warrant it given how uncivil and adversarial he would become.

    One thing that helps is the musicians' orientation I do when I bring on someone who will have a higher up position in my depth chart/call list. It indicates they must respond to text, phone and email with 24 hours, even if this is not their preferred method of communication. They have to agree to all that stuff before I'll let them be second or first call in the bands. I will put everyone through that, regardless of age. Sometimes I need an answer back for a gig immediately, and they need to take my calls seriously.

    I had one problem a while back -- I used www.doodle.com to determine availability of about 15 musicians for a string of 10 gigs I'd booked. It was too much to assemble it all via email or even phone; doodle makes it easy. I would've forgotten what times people were available and it would have been a mess to document it all. Well, most people took it seriously, and without question, used the doodle user interface to make it easy for me to see who was available, when.

    However, three of them didn't check their schedules when they indicated their availability. So, after I spent about 2 hours divvying out the gigs equitably with the right combination of musicians and pay levels (some don't like to play together so I don't put them together on gigs), three came back with schedule conflicts. I had to politely rake them over the coals for that because it upset my whole 10 gig schedule.
     
    Charlzm likes this.
  13. BassFishingInAmerica

    BassFishingInAmerica

    Jul 24, 2014
    Texting is the communication of a new generation. For me, it is backwards technology -- or at least when it takes place of more effective means.
     
    Leo Smith, howlin and dbbltime like this.
  14. PauFerro

    PauFerro

    Jun 8, 2008
    United States
    Yikes! That's the fastest way to ruin your reputation...remember, when you quit a band, you never know whether the group as a whole will be successful, or some of the individual members will go on to join, or form other successful bands. And when THEY lose musicians, they tend to go into their memory banks and call other musicians who they already know. If you were the guy who just stopped showing up, then there is a good chance they won't call you because you came off as unreliable...

    I never quit a band unless the people have behaved so badly I never want anything to do with them again. That happened in one band in my entire lifetime. The others -- I simply move off the permanent bass chair, and leave my options open to join them again if they need a sub. That keeps my schedule busy...

    Case in point -- my first really successful jazz band had a drummer during the startup phase who joined a different band. He quit. Five years later we connected and he saw our gig history. His eyes bugged out. Meanwhile the band he had joined instead of staying with ours originally, had all but died, doing 1 or 2 gigs a year. Now, he quit a bunch of other projects to dedicate himself significantly to my own group(s) now. But he is now in a second call position in the band he really really likes. Imagine what would have happened if he'd rage quit or just stopped showing up all those years ago -- i would never let him on my depth chart given the oversupply of drummers in this town...
     
    Remyd and BboogieXVII like this.
  15. Ekulati

    Ekulati Supporting Member

    Jan 2, 2016
    Richmond, VA
    I play with a guy who I WISH would use text...he insists on only using FB messenger....ggrrrr....
     
  16. saltydude

    saltydude

    Aug 15, 2011
    boston CANADA
    This is actually kind of the reason both my bands use the Whatsapp. It's a secure group texting thing that's a sure fire way to communicate with every member.
    Trying to group text with different devices I.E. iPhone or Android etc. doesn't work well. The Whatsapp solved this.
    So when your texting your BL and he's not responding at least all the members see what's going on and know the score.
     
    Meghans Dad likes this.
  17. PauFerro

    PauFerro

    Jun 8, 2008
    United States
    How old are these people in your group? And does this band have a busy, paid performance schedule?
     
  18. Bodeanly

    Bodeanly Supporting Member

    Mar 20, 2015
    Chicago
    It was also sarcasm. Sorry. I shoulda used a winky face or something.
     
    Imaginary Pony and PauFerro like this.
  19. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    My ACR phone app records every single conversation I have on the phone and asks me at the end if I want to save it. (Consult your state laws. It is legal in my state.) Seems like a good trail to me.


    Yeah this new crazy mess of phone phobia absolutely baffles me. Digital communication for important issues (in many cases) is a punk's way out. Sure, if it is a business email that is what it is.

    My reply to most texts is "call when you get a sec".

    I know two couples (not yet married but serious) that literally broke up over texting. They misunderstood what the other was saying and by the time the situation was "fixed" it was too late.

    Yes, there are simple little messages that can be handled via text.

    "Pick up some bread on the way home please."

    "Show time Friday night has been backed up to 9:30 instead of 10:30. Call if there is a conflict."

    Stuff like that is cool and makes sense. But I'm not texting for a half hour when the same verbal conversation could be had in literally a few minutes at most.
     
    Remyd, Matthew_84, Thisguy and 4 others like this.
  20. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    I'm trying to figure out what cover band correspondence actually requires a "trail".....
     
    design, mdogs, mexicanyella and 6 others like this.

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