BL/Singer sucks at communication

I suggest you talk to the guitarist to get the scoop on what's really going on. I've found that whenever I am working harder than the people around me, there is agenda in place that doesn't include me.

 

You're working harder than the BL right now.

 

This is something that needs to be addressed with the whole band IN PERSON.

"Hey guys. I don't wanna be a harda$$ or anything. But until I get into the groove of how things work around here I need a few things from you. Like, for instance, I need more notice than an hour when we're going to rehearse. Also, I need the recordings ASAP so I can get my crap together and learn the parts. I just want to do my part. Until I get up to speed around here I will need a little help getting there."

Does this unjustly put some of it back on you? Yep. It's called diplomacy. Rather than wagging a finger in their collective faces, it's more like "I need your help to become a good team player". Having to speak to people this way makes me vomit in my mouth a little. But it works every single time. You'll walk out of the room and they'll say "Wow. He's a needy one, isn't he?" And you'll know they're saying it. But you'll get what you need from them and then blow their faces off with your bass awesomeness and all will be forgotten. Jump through this one hoop and them move on. Honestly, it's you playing them while they think they're playing you.

Manipulation. It's not just for breakfast any more.

 

Yup - next rehearsal, just have a discussion, so everyone is on the same page "because you want to be sure you are prepared".

 

Ditch 'em.

 

Perhaps if you treat your music career on whatever level it is at just like you would a "real job" you would answer your own questions?
If your boss was changing work hours etc haphazardly & not keeping you updated I'm sure you wouldn't tolerate that?

Chances are if you decide only to work with responsible folks in any of your endeavors you will succeed, otherwise you will need to get used to chronic frustration..

 

I have had issues in the past couple years with my (one of the) drummer(s) not answering my texts about gigs and last week he bailed on a date that I had given him months ago. He continually asks me for ALL the dates on the calendar. Over and over and over again. So I told him and the guitar player that I wouldn't conduct any forther band business by text. At all. Ever again. And that ALL future conversations would be by voice call only. They laughed a bit till they actually realized I was 100% serious. I deal with many, many musicians and am quite busy-only this guy doesn't answer texts-so that's it. No text, no gig, I'll find a sub or use one of the other bands I play with. Life's simply too short to deal with flakes. It's just business.

 

There's always one poor communicator in every band that makes life challenging for the rest of us. No excuse for that.

 

"hey guys: communication isn't timely... and that's unhelpful...what gives?"

 

Like I said in my post above - there's one in every crowd! It's always a fine balance between being the organizer and the enabler, eh? Sometimes the latter is the shortest path to releif but doesn't really resolve anything. BTDT on more that one occaison.

Good for you for putting your foot down. How did this drummer receive this? Has his behaviour changed or has the situation improved? Just curious....

 

Well. The guitar player certainly got it. He needed to know if I had cashed the check from Saturday night and so Monday at noon he called me. He usually would have just texted me...so we'll see. HE probably texted the drummer to let him know that I had dropped off his money too!

 

I wonder how it used to be back in the day before cellphones, emails and texts...if it's that bad now, can you imagine having to actually be at home to answer the phone. Just thinking aloud since although I don't consider myself the BL, I do most of the texting and ALL of the emailing of set lists, etc. Oh, I also book most of the gigs too.

 

I remember how it used to be back in day - leaving messages, not getting calls back, trying to track down people by actually seeing them face to face. It ain't better or worse today, just different.

 

This is the sort of thing that drives me nuts. @DirtDog said it and it's absolutely true:

Every band I have ever been in has had "that" guy. Its the worst when its the BL. The good news is, everyone eventually gets tired of "that" guy. Then he becomes "that fired" guy.

 

My first band formed in 1999. Mobile phones were about to be, but weren't yet, mainstream and most communication was still face to face or on the phone.

In a way it was better - no "sorry can't come today after all" texts. If the plan was the bassist was picking you up to drive to rehearsal at 5pm on a Friday, you had to be ready and waiting.

 

For me it's our guitarist. His schedule can change daily and we never find out until it's the day of rehearsal. It's getting old real fast.

 

Just be sure to ask the questions in front of the whole band. That leaves nothing up for debate about what you actually said - or the tone you used when you said it. Many are the times when somebody who dropped the ball develops an uncanny ability to 'remember' a conversation very differently than the other party when there's blame to be assigned.

And if there is an agenda on the part of somebody, you just outed it without directly pointing a finger at anyone.

 

I am from the stone age. Back in the 1970's and 80's we set certain dates from the last rehearsal. Everyone I worked with was serious. They always showed up. Sonny Emory of EWF was my drummer as a 14 year old. Everyone showed up to play--it was passion.

Now a days so many "players" are doing it because they want to fit into a certain scene. They freaking whine about practicing and when they do show up--they have to relearn what you taught them last week. Too busy playing Angry Birds or some form of BS to take music seriously. So many players suck because they are too damned lazy to practice, return messages, return texts, and return phone calls. Why in the hell do you even bother if you don't at least practice 30 minutes a day. Just go away.