BL/Singer sucks at communication

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by njones89, Mar 28, 2017.

  1. njones89


    Mar 27, 2015
    Sioux Falls
    I'm not really sure what the hierarchy of the new band is yet, but I mainly talk to the singer. The band was started by the guitarist, who I've known for longer. Anyway, last week I had an issue because I was trying to figure out when practice was. He didn't return my texts until the very last minute. I talked to the guitarist about it. Yesterday I got ahold of the singer about sending me some recordings so I can write out my part. He said he would send it last night, and it never came... I sent him a text asking him if he had a chance to send it because it's not in my inbox, and then I also asked about practice tomorrow because we carpool together. No reply, but I see he's on Facebook. I don't know what gives. I don't want to blow up his phone, but uh, they must not be very desperate for a bass player if they are getting lazy with sending me what I need to do the job! What are some ways I can handle this? Should I just say F*** it and do something else?
    Garret Graves likes this.
  2. Stumbo

    Stumbo Guest

    Feb 11, 2008
    I suggest you talk to the guitarist to get the scoop on what's really going on. I've found that whenever I am working harder than the people around me, there is agenda in place that doesn't include me.
  3. njones89


    Mar 27, 2015
    Sioux Falls
    I don't think I work harder than the other guys, but I'm trying to get my part down for the songs and the singer is not being very reliable about getting me what I need.
  4. Stumbo

    Stumbo Guest

    Feb 11, 2008
    You're working harder than the BL right now.
    RSBBass, andruca, 40Hz and 4 others like this.
  5. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    This is something that needs to be addressed with the whole band IN PERSON.

    "Hey guys. I don't wanna be a harda$$ or anything. But until I get into the groove of how things work around here I need a few things from you. Like, for instance, I need more notice than an hour when we're going to rehearse. Also, I need the recordings ASAP so I can get my crap together and learn the parts. I just want to do my part. Until I get up to speed around here I will need a little help getting there."

    Does this unjustly put some of it back on you? Yep. It's called diplomacy. Rather than wagging a finger in their collective faces, it's more like "I need your help to become a good team player". Having to speak to people this way makes me vomit in my mouth a little. But it works every single time. You'll walk out of the room and they'll say "Wow. He's a needy one, isn't he?" And you'll know they're saying it. But you'll get what you need from them and then blow their faces off with your bass awesomeness and all will be forgotten. Jump through this one hoop and them move on. Honestly, it's you playing them while they think they're playing you.

    Manipulation. It's not just for breakfast any more.
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2017
  6. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Yup - next rehearsal, just have a discussion, so everyone is on the same page "because you want to be sure you are prepared". :thumbsup:
  7. Korladis

    Korladis Inactive

    Ditch 'em.
    nbsipics likes this.
  8. Perhaps if you treat your music career on whatever level it is at just like you would a "real job" you would answer your own questions?
    If your boss was changing work hours etc haphazardly & not keeping you updated I'm sure you wouldn't tolerate that?

    Chances are if you decide only to work with responsible folks in any of your endeavors you will succeed, otherwise you will need to get used to chronic frustration..
    Stumbo likes this.
  9. filmtex


    May 29, 2011
    I have had issues in the past couple years with my (one of the) drummer(s) not answering my texts about gigs and last week he bailed on a date that I had given him months ago. He continually asks me for ALL the dates on the calendar. Over and over and over again. So I told him and the guitar player that I wouldn't conduct any forther band business by text. At all. Ever again. And that ALL future conversations would be by voice call only. They laughed a bit till they actually realized I was 100% serious. I deal with many, many musicians and am quite busy-only this guy doesn't answer texts-so that's it. No text, no gig, I'll find a sub or use one of the other bands I play with. Life's simply too short to deal with flakes. It's just business.
  10. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    There's always one poor communicator in every band that makes life challenging for the rest of us. No excuse for that.
    Stumbo likes this.
  11. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    "hey guys: communication isn't timely... and that's unhelpful...what gives?" :thumbsup:
    Stumbo likes this.
  12. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    Like I said in my post above - there's one in every crowd! It's always a fine balance between being the organizer and the enabler, eh? Sometimes the latter is the shortest path to releif but doesn't really resolve anything. BTDT on more that one occaison.

    Good for you for putting your foot down. How did this drummer receive this? Has his behaviour changed or has the situation improved? Just curious....
    Stumbo likes this.
  13. filmtex


    May 29, 2011
    Well. The guitar player certainly got it. He needed to know if I had cashed the check from Saturday night and so Monday at noon he called me. He usually would have just texted we'll see. HE probably texted the drummer to let him know that I had dropped off his money too!
    Stumbo likes this.
  14. Crusher47

    Crusher47 Tattoo'ed Freak

    Apr 12, 2014
    Fort Worth, TX
    I wonder how it used to be back in the day before cellphones, emails and texts...if it's that bad now, can you imagine having to actually be at home to answer the phone. Just thinking aloud since although I don't consider myself the BL, I do most of the texting and ALL of the emailing of set lists, etc. Oh, I also book most of the gigs too.
  15. Kevorargh

    Kevorargh Supporting Member

    Nov 2, 2013
    West Bethel, Maine
    I remember how it used to be back in day - leaving messages, not getting calls back, trying to track down people by actually seeing them face to face. It ain't better or worse today, just different.
  16. Thumb n Fingers

    Thumb n Fingers

    Dec 15, 2016
    This is the sort of thing that drives me nuts. @DirtDog said it and it's absolutely true:

    Every band I have ever been in has had "that" guy. Its the worst when its the BL. The good news is, everyone eventually gets tired of "that" guy. Then he becomes "that fired" guy.
    DirtDog likes this.
  17. My first band formed in 1999. Mobile phones were about to be, but weren't yet, mainstream and most communication was still face to face or on the phone.

    In a way it was better - no "sorry can't come today after all" texts. If the plan was the bassist was picking you up to drive to rehearsal at 5pm on a Friday, you had to be ready and waiting.
    Crusher47 likes this.
  18. Duder


    Dec 6, 2014
    For me it's our guitarist. His schedule can change daily and we never find out until it's the day of rehearsal. It's getting old real fast.
  19. 40Hz

    40Hz Supporting Member

    May 24, 2006
    Just be sure to ask the questions in front of the whole band. That leaves nothing up for debate about what you actually said - or the tone you used when you said it. Many are the times when somebody who dropped the ball develops an uncanny ability to 'remember' a conversation very differently than the other party when there's blame to be assigned.

    And if there is an agenda on the part of somebody, you just outed it without directly pointing a finger at anyone.
    pcake and Sunset Shalom like this.
  20. Steadfast


    Sep 28, 2015
    Search Me
    I am from the stone age. Back in the 1970's and 80's we set certain dates from the last rehearsal. Everyone I worked with was serious. They always showed up. Sonny Emory of EWF was my drummer as a 14 year old. Everyone showed up to play--it was passion.

    Now a days so many "players" are doing it because they want to fit into a certain scene. They freaking whine about practicing and when they do show up--they have to relearn what you taught them last week. Too busy playing Angry Birds or some form of BS to take music seriously. So many players suck because they are too damned lazy to practice, return messages, return texts, and return phone calls. Why in the hell do you even bother if you don't at least practice 30 minutes a day. Just go away.
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