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"bottling up" emotions

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Floating teetH, Aug 15, 2005.


  1. why is this a problem again?

    how will talking about emotions make them go away?

    aren't emotions for women anyway?
     
  2. WalterBush

    WalterBush

    Feb 27, 2005
    Yuma, Az
    I agree completely. Men should bottle their emotions into a tiny, dense ball of rage, burning in their bellies, and ready to unleash at showtime, or possibly upon unsuspecting postal service co-workers.



    I just realized, my emotions are so well bottled that I'm not sure if I'm joking or not.
     
  3. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    I thought that for a long time. It stunted my maturation into adulthood until I quit trying to act "tough".

    Sharing your feelings, insecurities, fears, and concerns is a sign of strength. The real sissies are the guys who won't talk about that kind of stuff. They'll die lonely old men wondering what it must have been like to be in a relationship with someone they truly loved and cared for.

    -Mike
     
  4. WalterBush

    WalterBush

    Feb 27, 2005
    Yuma, Az
    I tried sharing all that with my family when I thought I was close to a breakdown once. Sure, I felt better, but I'm pretty sure I scared my wife and kids. I think my job is more like an airline pilot, you know, making sure they believe everything will be OK, no matter what the situation looks like. I try not to express anything but happiness, joy, love, etc around them when possible. My fear and sorrow are not their burden to bear, and I only talk about anger once I'm done being angry. They all still love me, and barring unspeakable tragedy, I won't die wondering why I'm alone. The people who depend on me need to know that I'm unshakable in the face of adversity, and that everything will be alright.
     
  5. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    I hear ya. That is pretty much exactly how I felt for a very long time. I know you didn't ask for advice, but I'm going to suggest something.

    Start sharing your feelings/emotions before you get to the point where you are ready to breakdown. Guys have this idea that feelings/emotions are to be shared when things are going wrong. Unless your wife has some major mental problems, she isn't going to think less of you if you tell her in a quiet moment that you have some feelings, concerns or fears regarding something in your life, or your family life. I thought my wife would think I was a pussy if I told her some of the things I was insecure about. It just brought us closer when she realized that I was concerned too. Same applies to my parents. I have been able to openly talk with my parents about things I never would have when I was trying to be the tough, stable, never wavering son.

    I agree with you that as the male, it is our responsibility to bring stability to the family circle. When our loved ones know that we also have fears/emotions/feelings, it doesn't make us some unstable lunatic. It makes them have even more confidence in us that we can provide that stability despite what may bother us. They know if they break down, that dad/hubby will still be there even if he is concerned also.

    Think of it this way....would you rather go on a cruise around the world in a boat that has done it several times, or one sitting in the dock that was just built and had never been in the water?

    -Mike
     
  6. WalterBush

    WalterBush

    Feb 27, 2005
    Yuma, Az
    Hmm. I'll have to chew on that for a bit. Thank you.
     
  7. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    No problem. I owe you an apology though. I'm sorry for throwing out these long posts trying to force you to handle your emotions the way I do. I make the mistake of concluding that what works for me, is what everyone else should do. Even more so on a very personal subject like this one. Maybe if we were talking about where to get your motor oil changed, it would be different. :D

    -Mike
     
  8. Only

    Only

    Sep 8, 2002
    Warrensburg, MO
    I keep my emotions bottled up because talking about mine would be giving a green light to whoever I'm in a conversation with to talk about theirs, and the last thing I want to happen when I'm talking about something like this is to be interrupted by "Oh, well let me tell you about the problems I'm having."

    It seems easier for all involved if I just shut up.
     
  9. Dude, shut up. No-one wants to hear you bitch about people bitching when you're already bitching.















    I'm kidding, of course. Bitch all you like.
     
  10. Don't bottle them up, because eventually you will explode. Either a sad, emotional breakdown, or a violent outburst and you'll end up hurting somebody who doesn't deserve it.
     
  11. Simple:

    Years of therapy after losing everything just to come to the root of your problem = lots of money.

    Talking with my Wife about my problems helps NOW, and makes our understanding of each other better, and is good bonding...

    I'll save the macho crap and have a chat with the Wife every time.

    And as for "being strong" for your kids, letting them in (be it on the lighter issues) and letting them know you're human and have problems too. In a way it's helpful to them in that they could potentially open up to you easier and not have their own "issues" later on in life. Therapeutic really. I know it sounds like corny sitcom-family stuff, but it's not.
     
  12. MAJOR METAL

    MAJOR METAL HARVESTER OF SORROW Staff Member Supporting Member

    I wouldent be suprised if bottling up your emotions takes years off your life.
     
  13. hmmmm......

    interesting stuff here, but I generally disagree.
     
  14. tplyons

    tplyons

    Apr 6, 2003
    Madison, NJ
    I used to bottle up my emotions and break down about every 6 months, now I'm more vocal and I vent a lot more.
     
  15. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    What do you disagree with? There are a couple different opinions in this thread.

    -Mike
     
  16. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    I was a robot throughout high school(much to a certain girl's chagrin). I finally cracked and became highly emotional(much to aforementioned girl's delight) But then she broke my heart and I was left being overly emotional and vulnerable and blahblahblah. It took quite a while to pick up the pieces but now I'm a robot again.
     
  17. yeah.........

    i disagree w/ the part about being lonely. I think, based on my own experiences, that people who never allow anyone to feel sorry for them are most liked.

    for the most part, everyone was agreeing that bottling is bad/unhealthy etc.
     
  18. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Fair enough. I just think that when someone opens up and shares feelings and emotions with someone that they can enjoy relationships on a different level. Once you have those type of relationships, you can really be close to someone. Until then, you are at a lower level of closeness with someone.

    Perhaps my choice of wording was a bit harsh. Someone who keeps their emotions/feelings bottled up all the time will not really experience relationships the way they should be. So, I guess they won't know that they are missing. In the end, that was just a dumb thing I said. To make it worse, I didn't even say it right. :confused:

    -Mike
     
  19. Whenever you feel emotions all bottled up, it really helps to share them with other people.

    I've found that waving firearms around generally maximizes the number of people involved in the sharing process. YMMV.

    Randy
     
  20. no, what you said made sense, dpending on priority. For example, some people probably benefit largely from living a complete lie. others might find so much significance in 'being real' that the will admit all kinds of weird disturbing stuff that frightens everyone away from them . .