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BS from my parents about music

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by SnakeAnthony, Feb 20, 2006.


  1. How many of your parents truly support what you are doing as musicians, being bassits in particular. My parents dont and I don't understand why. Here's my little story (sorry if it seems like I'm bitching, but I've never heard such BS blasphamy)

    I'm only 14, and I've been playing for about a year, with no lessons at all (I'm still taking guitar, wasting my parents money, because my teacher teaches me nothing about theory or technuiqe, I just pick a song each week and we learn it. I've been taking for under 2 years). Now in no way to I intend on seeming egotistical, but after watching several friends attempt WITH lessons, I realize that I must have something special to be able to do what I can do in this short amount of time with no outside help. But my parents don't want me to play bass, they think I should stick with guitar, because thats the only way to really create music (my ass). They told me you want wow people by doing, and I quote here "bump bump bump.." Then it got on the subject of my brother who also plays (hes taken guitar lessons for 9 years before he was good enough to just stop, then picked up bass 3 years ago) and how good he is, and how because he plays bass, I shouldn't. Aside from slapping, which he is awsome at, I can keep up with my brother in almost every way.

    So even eairlier today, I went to my local shop, Kentucky Music to pick up my amp after it was finally repaired. The bass instructor who teaches there commented on my amp and how lcuky i was to have it, then he heard me play, and asked if I was taking lessons. I said no, and he told me I should definatly start taking, because if I'm even half-way decent now, after he tought me for a while, I could be that much better (he actually took from Reggie Wooten for a long time) Then he got to talking to my mom, and she mentioned my brother, and he realized he knew us, my brother Jason mainly, and said he was awsome last time he heard him and he understood where I got it. He told me he could make me as good as my brother after a year (hes exaggerating of course, but its good to be complimented every now and again, as I'm sure you well know). My moms only response was that he hadn't heard my brother latly :spit: :rollno:

    I'm sorry if it seems like I'm bitching, but I think this is all BS on the highest level. I know I'm not that great, but my parents seem to have serious issues with the fact that I'm not as good as my brother after a little more than a year (only around 8 months with MY bass, I used my brothers for a long time). If your parents hate it, lets hear your story, If your parents are proud, its good to hear that too. Share those stories.
     
  2. Meh. In four years, you'll be out of the house, and they won't have anything to say. Patience in a virtue, especially when dealing with annoying people.

    Rock on
    Eric
     
  3. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central
    My parents have been very supportive of me. My mom doesn't really understand much about music, so she just smiles and is happy for me. My dad is very heavily involved with the Providence Mandolin Orchestra playing mandola, so he's always eager to hear about whatever music I'm doing (and always wants me to play my mandolin with him, which I don't have much time to practice). Its nice, even though I know my dad wouldn't dig the music I make.
     
  4. Thanks. You've got a great point, but patience often runs thin. I don't know. I'll let it pass, and ignore anything else they have to say about the subject. Kentucky is boring anyway, I'll have much more fun somehwere else in four years :p
     
  5. Yeah, my mom really hates slap style, she really doesn't get it at all... But then again, she has encouraged me the whole way so far, I guess I got lucky and was stuck with a mom who wanted to play as a teen, but didn't want to ditch her groovy nails to grace the bottom end. (She actually had lessons, and the instructor told her to cut the nails or quit... Stupid decision Ma!!!) So it runs in my blood almost... to say in some sort of way.

    She really digs playing, and every now and then, you can find her with my Peavey imitating Angus Young... Even though I told her he plays guitar, she still does it, lol.

    Sorry to hear about what your parents think and say man. I really hate it when parents discourage a kids wants/dreams because they think against it. It's like disowning your kid for being gay. Let your kids live their lives, take a step back and let them fly on their own, I know it's gotta be hard but damn, you can't stop us from living our own lives. You can keep a watchful eye on us, in fact please do, we will screw up, it's okay though, we'll learn from it.

    But please, stop discouraging us!!!!!!!

    -ryan-
     
  6. My mom is very supportive of me playing music. I began on trumpet at age 10, and now also play guitar, bass, and piano. She doesn't really dig the whole rock thing though. Since I'm a classically trained and performing trumpet player , she thinks I should stick with classical. I dig it for the most part, but I'm really more into Avant-Garde styles of music. I dunno where that'll take me ,but even if she won't listen to it, my mom will back me.
     
  7. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    My mom died nine years before I started playing bass, so I've got that working for me.

    Anyway, if you have an objective of becoming famous for your bass playing, forget it. If you've expressed such an ambition to your parents, then they're right. You will not, repeat, WILL NOT become famous playing the bass guitar. Sure, we all hang out in here and yak about Claypool, Dirnt, East, Patitucci, Flea, Fieldy, Berlin ... blah, blah, blah ... but go out on the street and ask any non-bass player to name two bass players. If you're lucky, they'll give you Sting and Sir Paul, otherwise you'll weep. So do it for the music, because there's no glory.

    Amen.
     
  8. Sippy

    Sippy

    Aug 1, 2005
    Stuart,Florida
    Yea my parents are very supportive. I don't know why though. lol
     
  9. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    my mom hates the style of music i play.

    but she comes to every show.

    i started bass when i was 14. i am now 19.

    i think part of what your parents may be thinking is this.

    you've played guitar for 2 years with lessons. so you started when you were 12? when you were 13, you picked up the bass. now you're 14. i wonder if your parents might be curious as to where your music direction will take you... drums next?

    before you diversify in instuments, focus on one. and get really good at it before you expand your horizons (like your brother). personally i'd rather listen to someone who is very good on one instrument rather than ok on a few instruments.

    you're 14. it's not the end of the world if your parents won't get you bass lessons. get a job and pay for them yourself. show your parents how dedicated you are.

    as for your guitar lessons not doing anything for you. there is much more to a song than just learning how to play it. are you sure there isn't more to a lesson just on how to play the song?

    if so, then find a new teacher, don't complain about it.
     
  10. Dont worry about it. I'm sure if they knew they were upsetting you to this degree they would re-think their stance. Funny thing about parents, they arn't perfect. Even if they despise your playing, don't let them get you down. If you love playing, and want to continue, you will. Just don't seek their approval.

    If not liking your playing is the worst of it, think on the bright side, at least they don't beat you. I hope.
     
  11. steve21

    steve21 Banned

    My parents dislike me liking music as much as I do, and don't really support me spending the money I do on musical instruments and stuff.

    meh.
     
  12. Jazz Ad

    Jazz Ad Mi la ré sol Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

    My parents never gave a **** about my playing. They never came to a show or wondered if I was good or not.
    I guess they were happy as long as I was.
     
  13. tplyons

    tplyons

    Apr 6, 2003
    Madison, NJ
    My parents despise the fact that all my time and effort goes into music rather than school. I'm getting by on grades and learning plenty, but own a bunch of keyboards, basses, amps, guitars, etc. Then they came to realize I spent the past four years of my life working so I could pay for everything I own, and finally started to support my choice. Only after five years have they come to pay for lessons and occasioanlly gear.
     
  14. Some of you guys don't know how good you have it. Teenagers, who paid for the computer you are typing on, how did you get the bass, who pays for your lessons?



    I am not refering to you tplyons "I spent the past four years of my life working so I could pay for everything I own". I can respect that.




    Not to be harsh, but let's put it into perspective.

    I think we have coddled our youth. They feel they are entitled to being respected. They deserve (blank). Earn respect, even form your parents. They have earned yours, even if you don't give it to them.

    I know this is a long shot, but someday you will understand.

    P.S. Look at me, I sound like my dad!
     
  15. tplyons

    tplyons

    Apr 6, 2003
    Madison, NJ
    Very true. Wisdom comes young when you work your arse off for what you get. You really respect what you have and what you don't, and what it takes to get it. Sacrafices must be made no matter what, and I'm sure your parents do plenty for you. Keep at it, but help them out, do some extra chores around the house, but remember, they work hard to make your life easier.

    Spend some time in run down rural areas, or homeless shelters. I don't think you'll EVER complain about anything again. Honestly, ever since volunteering in a soup kitchen and a run down town in WV, I've earned everything I have, my car, my computers, basses, and my college tuition.

    Youre lucky you have what you do.
     
  16. westland

    westland

    Oct 8, 2004
    Hong Kong
    Well, I'll chime in as a parent of three children myself, and I frankly think that your parents should be very proud that you've got this much motivation. Stick with what you want to do, because that's where you're going to have the personal drive needed for excellence.

    Oh, and tell them to get you a teacher (just my $0.02):cool:
     
  17. I'm with you, when I was in high school, I worked all the time. My band mates would whine all the time about being broke, how their praents wouldn't do this and get them that, and how much their parents didn't understand them. Turns out, they had it backwords. They didn't understand what their parents did or how hard they worked to put real coco puffs on the table because "mom, the cheap stuff dosn't taste the same!"

    One of my bandmates said to me one time (because I worked, earned money, and most of the time paid his way) "Some people are have's, some are have not's, you are a have, I am a have not, deal with it." I quit that band.

    P.S. I keep waiting to hear a song on the radio with a son singing to his father "Dad, why wont you pay my cell phone bill" One of the pop punk bands.
     
  18. clanner

    clanner Token Black Guy.

    Apr 27, 2005
    ummmmm, marietta GA
    "Dad, why wont you pay my cell phone bill"

    i'll put that in a song for you. hopefully you'll hear it on the radio sometime as a joke (I’ll title it something about whining or the *itch song or something

    I'm 17, parents are very supportive, and i do work for it, donating time to church and playing for free for various other things. we actually sold my car (ford explorer, 98) and they helped me get a cargo van (my dad drives it more than i do) and helped me get my amp and a few of my basses (I’m saving up money for a new 5 string G&L L-2500)

    anyway. how did you get the bass? did they buy it for you or did you save up their money that they gave to you? do you cook your own meals? pack your own lunch? pay for your gas? just wandering if this complaint is valid. only time I get gas money is after a show or when my dad uses up the last 10 or 20 gallons. cook for myself most of the time, pack lunch, and get free room and board from them (I don't buy groceries)

    peace out.
     
  19. James Hart

    James Hart

    Feb 1, 2002
    toms_river.nj.us
    Endorsing Artist: see profile
    my grandfather's pop ordered him a Montgomery Ward acoustic guitar when he was 9. He played music almost every day of his life till he moved on.

    my mom played woodwinds through school and after college briefly. Now she is just a fan... listens to radio, CD, cassettes almost as much as the TV is on.

    my old man was a beatnick and wannabe folk guitarist. He's an audiophile now (mostly HK components). He plays the stereo real good.

    when I hit the minimum age to join school band it wasn't a matter of if I was gonna join, it was a matter of what I was gonna play.

    after 4 years of sax (my school didn't do strings), my grandfather hooked me up with a bass and amp (age 12) & and the folks chipped in with the lessons.

    The folks have been to a few shows and helped with early gear.

    They did get weird and pulled my college money when I passed the Berkley audition and blew off Engineering school... but in hind sight, I wasn't worth the cash back then :meh: I would have partied it away anyway.

    Later on, I became friends with a couple of people that were connected with my father's work life. They all knew ALL about my talent as a musician AND most had heard my playing over the years from my old man bringing in tapes and such :smug:
     
  20. To all the young teenagers, even younger, if you want to play bass, play bass. Don't argue with your parents, just patiently explain to them that it's the instrument that you want to play and enjoy.

    I say this because I wanted a bass at 10 years old. The music store salesman convinced my parents that I should learn 6 string. They took his advice and bought me an acoustic guitar. Plus, the basses were quite expensive compared to other guitars in 1974/75. So, for many years I played 6 string. Then my wife asked what I wanted special for my 40th birthday and I did not hesitate to say I wanted a bass. Here it is with a year and a half of playing later and I think why did I wait so long?

    Paul Mac