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Buying drinks/being bought drinks

HEIST

HEIST

Sep 17, 2007
635
3
Vancouver, BC, CANADA
#1
Now, let me just say it's been forever since anyone offered to buy me a drink at a bar/club since I don't go out anymore (and if I do, it's with my man) but I was just thinking about this the other day and was hoping you guys could help me answer some questions.

I don't know the etiquette when it comes to someone buying me a drink because I don't know their intention.

My usual response is, "No, thanks." because:
1. I bring enough money to cover myself and a few for friends when I go out.
2. I am taken and do not want the other party to waste their money and time on me only to be lead on.
3. I don't want to feel like I have to stick around and talk to them (if that is what a drink 'buys').

But I am also aware that some people would buy another person a drink 'just because' or if they wanted a chat, with no end-result in mind (such as getting my number/monopolizing my night). I don't want to offend by rejecting, either.

So, men of TB. When you go up to a stranger (to make it easier, a gender of your attraction) and offers to buy them a drink, what is your usual intention? Is it rude to not accept? What's the deal and what is the etiquette?!
 
#3
I think men usually buy drinks for women because theyre trying to get laid. Its not an "I bought you a drink so you owe me something" or an "Im trying to get you drunk" thing, but rather a polite way to initiate conversation with someone you dont know.

For one, Id say as a woman NEVER accept a drink from a stranger unless you witnessed it being poured by the bartender and handed directly to you!

I dont think Ive ever bought a drink for someone I didnt know, though. Usually I'd be at the bar with someone I already knew.

My wife is hot, as you all know, and she's had a few guys buy her drinks while we were out together at my shows. I dont mind, since its certainly not going to get them anywhere, and thats more money in my pocket!
 
#4
i_got_a_mohawk said:
Best bet is probably just saying "sorry, I'm in a relationship" or likewise.
Click to expand...

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"Sorry, I'm in a relationship."

Wouldn't that make some men angry? Hahah. I'm playing it out in my head and what if it hurts the guy's feelings because I've assumed that's the reason he offered to buy me a drink and it isn't? (And I've just lumped him into a generalization). I'd feel like such a dick.

MatticusMania said:
For one, Id say as a woman NEVER accept a drink from a stranger unless you witnessed it being poured by the bartender and handed directly to you!
Click to expand...

+1

I can however think of a couple occasions where I did not do that. :( I am super lucky nothing bad has ever happened because of my tipsy carelessness.
 
#5
Only time I ever bought someone a drink was while we were already in a conversation.

Kinda like:
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
"What are you drinking?"
"Single Malt Scotch"
"Bartender, I'll take one of those $1 Coronas for the lady"
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
 
#6
I don't think I have ever walked up to a woman and said "Can I buy you a drink?" (very lame pick up line IMO)
I have offered to buy them one IF we already had a conversation going on and they were ready to order.

I have sent a round of drinks to a table with a couple woman at it and just smiled, waved & tipped my drink to them.
 
#11
HEIST said:
"Can I buy you a drink?"

"Sorry, I'm in a relationship."

Wouldn't that make some men angry? Hahah. I'm playing it out in my head and what if it hurts the guy's feelings because I've assumed that's the reason he offered to buy me a drink and it isn't? (And I've just lumped him into a generalization). I'd feel like such a dick.
Click to expand...

Well, I should gloss that with "Other than for a few months, I've been in a relationship for the past 6 years, so I'm a tad rusty"

Just say "Thanks but no thanks . . . ", that better? I'd still say most guys who buy a girl a drink are at least flirting to some degree.
 
#12
Only people I ever buy drinks for are friends.

Sometimes I get a drink bought for me at gigs, but I'll only drink it if brought to me by a bartender/server. There was this one time I got roofied at a show, not a fun experience. I didn't go down (I'm not a small guy, and can handle my stuff), but that last set was no fun at all.
 
#16
I've never actually done it with a complete stranger - whether male or female, mind you I'm generally in bars where the only women present are taken anyway, and I'm in a relationship. I have done it for the girlfriend on a couple of occasions. We have a general policy of alternating who "pays" for dinner/beverages for the night.
 
#17
HEIST said:
Badass.

Really though, considering how many times my friends and I have been approached by a complete stranger offering to buy us drinks, I'm surprised most of you do not do it (or only do it once in a conversation, and that makes sense to me).
Click to expand...

When I lived in Canada (many years ago) it was super-common. Not so much around here though...
 

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