Question of the day is it proper ettiqutte to call out other band members on their bad behavior and general laziness. For example let's say that hypothetically I'm in a band that is a full time road band. This band is our job and your job is playing music, not a weekend band or an original band. Let's just say. Now let's say I'm not the actual BL in this hypothetical band (even though I do most of the BL's job IE. the dirty work no one else wants to do). Lately some people that may or not be in this hypothetical band don't seem to want to carry their own weight or cause unnessecary problems. I'm talking about not learing songs, not practicing, being drunk and belligerent at gigs, stuff like that. When this behavior causes problems and isn't being dealt with would you speak up even though you're not in any official capacity? Or would you just blow it off and you just worry about yourself. Remember you're not "in charge"at all just another band member.
Quick question to your hypothetical scenario... does the BL hold his position because the other members trust him to lead the band properly, or because he is doing the legwork required to have such a position? It sounds from your post that youre doing the BL's job, which some might say makes you the BL by default. The person currently in the BL position certainly does not seem to be doing their job, since some people arent carrying their weight and are causing problems. A true BL would put an end to that nonsense asap. You might be more in charge than you really know.
+1 If you dont feel you have the authority to call the other band members on their shenanigans, then you should talk to your BL to see what his thoughts on the matter are.
First off, love the name. Second, enough with the hypothetical questions. We're all (mostly) anonymous here. Third. Since you posted this in the BM subforum, there's really only one answer: fire them all or quit. Seriously though, couple points. Are you a hired gun, or are you an actual member of the band? If you're a hired gun, then you really don't have much say on what the other members are doing, provide you are getting your payment. Now, if you're an actual band member and on the same level as everyone but the BL, then hell yeah you have a right to speak up. If this stuff is going on during the BL's watch, then he's not doing his job. I would talk to him first. If you can't get him to come around, there's probably not a chance that the others will come around either, especially since they very well may gang up on you over you being too "square" or something. So really, even though my advice above (quit) was mostly tongue and cheek due to the frequency it is advised on here, it may very well be an option you need to consider. Either way, it's a bummer that the fellas can't keep themselves under control for at least the gigs. Seriously though, the hypothetical crap is for the birds. Just tell it like it is.
I despise passive/aggressive behavior. So I'm a saint, right? No. I call out everyone, every time. People love that about me. That's probably why I'm so popular. Can you call me out? Of course. Call me out, I will respect you. Talk to me about issues you should have mentioned a long time ago, and I won't. I dig honesty, long walks on the beach, and world peace. My turnoffs are mean people, and passive/aggressive behavior.
Don't care, doesn't matter...I make my observations known. It's called diplomacy which is a nice way to tell people to go to hell and have them smiling & whistling as they're walking the distance. If your actions have earned the respect of the peer group, you're one step ahead. Here's a great way to start when addressing a group: "Listen...we're having a few problems which may make us less attractive to the area venues & managers and, to be truthful, we've put too much work into this project to leave our good name in the gutter." This will catch their attention and interest, trust me. Riis
Let's transfer this scenario to real life. Hypothetically. You work for Joes Widget Sales, Inc. Joe owns and runs the company and you and 3 other people work there. You show up to work ready to go. You spent the first couple of months learning all about widgets, and a few hours a week on market conditions, new products, ways to open new accounts, competitor's offerings etc. You're doing pretty good and making the operation some money. Employee B does the same, prepped and ready. May come in a little rough on Mondays, but he's pulling his weight. Employee C comes in, doesn't do the work to keep in tune with the market. At lunch he goes out to the local dive bar and has 3 or 4 pops. That afternoon he insults a couple of customers on the phone, including one of yours. And he really doesn't care because his cousin is Joe's ex-wife and she got him the job and he thinks they are all jerks. Anyway, he knows he could do better at Al's Widgets down the street or if he owned Joe's. 'Cause he is a business rock star. Employee D comes in, but is clueless. He is stoned all the time, and giggles a lot. He makes no money for the company, but he doesn't care, he is making the same as you until it stops. IRL, do C and D keep their jobs? Or does Joe figure out they are useless and either crack the whip or fire them? Should you quit a good gig because they are screw-ups? Is Joe so stupid that he thinks this is going to work and he is going to carry these guys? What do you think when it's put in that context? Like a job?
It depends on the relationship among the band members. But if I was working hard making a living and the lazy dude adversely affects the product,?... no, there's GONNA be a conversation. That's how I put food on the table. If I can't make headway, the BL must step in, especially if there is a consensus among other members. That's HIS job.
Thanks for playin On topic, I'd weigh my efforts and everyone else's, factor in pay/side benefits, consider consequences of various actions, start a thread on TB and go from there. Keep us posted, eh?
I've been in those exact circumstances before in a regular job and when I asked things like "I can do twice as much in half the time for less salary as A and I'm on time every day too. Why is this allowed?" I would just get told that it wasn't for me to worry about, stop complaining so much, we need to talk about your attitude etc. I'm a Leo and Italian and I have a tendency to be really blunt and direct which has been taken somewhat unfavorably before lol I don't want to rock the boat too much because I'd be seen as the one making too much of a fuss which has happened in the past. I guess what gets me the most is the attitude that "oh well someone else will take care of it" like say we need a new tire for the van on a Sunday or a finding a room to crash for the night because only 2 of us drive. Such things are viewed as an interruption to nap time rather than important tasks that need to get done.
If talking it out hasn't worked, and has risked putting you on the outer in the past, perhaps consider just sitting back and letting the chips fall where they lay. Sure, you might not have a room for the night, or be late for a gig because of a flat, but since you're getting heat for making it an issue and interrupting nap time, you surely can't expect to cop heat for not making it one, and maybe the naysayers will learn to be more onto things that need doing after some consequences. Good luck.
+1 Except for the "long walks on the beach" part. I hate long walks. That's why man invented the wheel and internal combustion engine.
I'd first let the BL know my feelings. If he/she didn't take care of the problem, then I'd make it known that I was unhappy with the perps' behavior and that it detracts from the potential success of the band. If things didn't improve dramatically, I'd split. If a band member was getting drunk at gigs, especially if it affected his/her performance, I'd let the BL know that I'd be leaving if the drunk wasn't.