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Chav/ned/townie's and such....

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Mankind, Mar 6, 2005.

  1. Mankind


    Oct 20, 2003
    What do you call a chav in a box? Innit.

    What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted

    What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe.

    What do you call an Eskimo chav? Innuinnit.

    Why are Chavs like slinkies? They have no real use but it's great to
    watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

    What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride.

    You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not
    to hit him? It might be your bike.

    What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut? One's thick and
    hairy, the other's a coconut.

    What's the first question at a Chav quiz night? What you lookin' at?"

    How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box? Paint three stripes on it.

    Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving? The police

    What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's? A liar.

    What do you say to a chav with a job? Can I have a big mac please

    What do you say to a chav in a suit? Will the defendant please stand

    What do u call a knife in chaville? Exhibit A

    Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame? A Nova seats 4

    What do you call a 30 year old chavette? Granny.

    How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb? One, they'll screw

    What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river? A start.

    Why did the chav take a shower? He didn't mean to, he just forgot to
    close the Nova's window in the car wash

    Why did the Chav cross the road? To start a fight with a random
    stranger for no reason whatsoever.

    What do you call a Chav at college? The cleaner.

    Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins? Society.

    :ninja: :D
  2. For our US readers: Chavs are the anti-social pond scum that are taking over Britain's streets - usually uneducated, unemployed, casual sportswear-wearing idiots with limited vocabularies, penchants for violence, crappy modified cars and 14-year-old pregnant girlfriends in cheap gold jewellery. To be found in high proliferation around the high streets and council estates of the UK.

    Read more: www.chavscum.co.uk

    Russ :bassist:
  3. Nikehawk

    Nikehawk Guest

    Jul 29, 2001
    Yorkville, IL, USA
    English people are weird... :scowl:

  4. burk48237

    burk48237 Supporting Member

    Nov 22, 2004
    Oak Park, MI
    In the US we just call them High school students!
  5. karrot-x

    karrot-x Banned

    Feb 21, 2004
    Omicron Persei 8
    Pfft in he US we don't impregnate 14 year olds, we wait 2 years before we nock um up :).

  6. Not if your from Arkansaw!!!
  7. chavs..............grrrrrrrrrrrr

    Kingstanding , chav capital of the world!!

    and i live there....................... :scowl:
  8. :)

    Good stuff.

    You people stop complaining about your Chavs, you should try to deal with Travellers, that'll stop you moaning...
  9. Another Irish Person! Yays!

    Don't ****** get me started on travellers, pavees etc. And I live in Limerick ffs! YOU HAVE NO IDEA! :crying: :bag:

    edit (jt) :

    when obscenity creeps into posts
    "star-outs" don't count with "almost"
    so cover it all
    or i'll come pay a call
    and your membership here will be toast :)

    thank you
  10. Just so I have all my hate labels in order, is it pronounced "tchav" or "shav"?
  11. Frank Martin

    Frank Martin Bitten by the luthiery bug...

    Oct 8, 2001
    Budapest, Hungary, EU
    Have you met gipsies yet? :p

    Ok, that was a bit racist... (but check it out for yourself...)

    But i have heard all these jokes with gipsies so far! (And even more!)

    We also have our chavs of our own, too, unfortunately. From this it sounds like they are totally the same as the ones there... :rollno:
  12. *Pisses himself laughing* HAHA! I hate townies and chavs so much, they put my window through te other week. I shall track down every townie and slay them all! ;-)
  13. HA! We have loadsa travellers round where I live. They make a right bloody mess and are grubby as hell. Bloody tinkers. Now real Romany gypsies are nice people!
  14. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    So... basically what you're saying is that they're Americans?
  15. We have the smae things over here. We call 'em Trans Rats, which is short for Transit Mall rats, because they hang out at the transit malls where the buses congregate. No reason why, I guess they just all meet there from the various parts of town they come from, then don't go anywhere.

    Our's dont' dress in GAP or A&F, they go for the early '80s British Punk look. But a lot more violent. And they smell worse. And are can be seen actually engaging in strenious, non-violent/non-distructive activity, usually bike riding or skateboarding.

    We hate them, too, but maybe not as much. Ours can be lazy in the violence department. Ours don't rob houses, break windows, or cause general mayhem. Their brand of mayhem is very directional.

    Rock on
  16. So basically they're punk/skaters?
  17. Kinda. But our skaters tend to move around a lot, going from one skate park to the next. TransRats just sit there at the malls. Occasionally riding their bikes up and down the sidewalk.

    Remeber, I'm in Portland. Apparently we have some of the best skate parks in the world, or so I am told. Though I only know of three, we supposedly have like 15?

    Rock on
  19. Gia


    Feb 28, 2001
    :rolleyes: some of my good friends are "rude boys".
    you can't lump all 'chavs' into the same generalised description.

    you wonder why they attack you....
    admittedly they attack you first for no reason, but all the faux-skater and faux-indie kids just keep the vicious circle going by threatening to slay all chavs.

    it's really pathetic suburban gang "warfare".
    they are aggressive for no reason, and instead of just laughing at them and calling the police when it gets serious, the stupid faux-skaters/punks react and launch equally stupid attacks on the chavs.