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Cheezwhiz and other constables..."Yes Mr. Claypool!"

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Rumzini, Aug 4, 2005.

  1. Rumzini


    Feb 14, 2004
    Jackson, MI
    So here's one for the fuzz.

    So as some of you know I recently became a cop..again. So the other day I had to rush to the prosecutors office and judges chamber to swear to one of our officer's warrants. I get the request and info from the prosector and then off to the judge. Felony counts of home invasion and misd. assault.

    Judge, "Do you swear, yadda yadda yadda?"

    Me, "Yes, I do."

    Judge, "Tell me what happened, (on the record of course.)

    Me, "Yes, your Honor. On such and such day and time Officer so and so went here for whatever and made contact with whoever and ultimatly found a the suspect, a one Mr. Claypool....

    Judge, "Mr. Claypool?."

    Me, Yes "Mr. Claypool the suspect and arrestee was found to be yadda yadda....."

    Judge, "Errrrr....(points at charge sheet)...That would be Mr. Clayborn?"

    Me, "uhhhhh....yeah..yeah...Yes, Mr. Clayborn."

    It was all I could do to keep myself from laughing right there in circuit court being recorded on the record!

    I've got to stop listening to Primus and CCBBB!!!!!
  2. fraublugher


    Nov 19, 2004
    ottawa, ontario, canada
    music school retailer
    had you said clay aiken for instance.

    much more embarassing
  3. oh well, it's not like most of the people in there probably even knew who Les Claypool is, much less Primus.
  4. Rumzini


    Feb 14, 2004
    Jackson, MI
    Right....it's just that I was telling the rest of the story with a snicker and they kept looking at me funny.
  5. Teehee!!!

    (for some of the misdemeaners I prefer it if the cops sleep in. ;) )
  6. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz Supporting Member

    Mar 27, 2002
    Bwahhaaaa!!!!! LOL

    That's pretty good. Man, I've misspoken in Court so many times, I can't even remember most of them. Probably my favorite Court story though, is:

    I was training a rookie about 15 years ago. I had been on about 5 years at the time. One night on midnight shift, said rookie had his feet up on the desk, and fell asleep. One of my buddies got a bottle of white out, and painted a very detailed penis on the sole of the rooks boots. Well, the next day, we had Court on a passing a stopped school bus ticket.

    The way the Court was set up at the time, the witness stand consisted of nothing but a chair, facing the bench. Rook was testifying, and he crossed his legs. The bottom of his boot , penis and all, was then facing the defense table. The defendant, a lady who was actually pretty cool, and her attorney, both busted up laughing. Rook had no idea what was going on until he was done testifying and I told him to look at the bottom of his boot!
  7. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    ^ Rad.
  8. Rumzini


    Feb 14, 2004
    Jackson, MI
    Oh my lord! That is to funny!