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Chicken poop catapult

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by syciprider, Mar 7, 2008.

  1. syciprider

    syciprider Banned

    May 27, 2005
    Inland Empire




    A businessman in the UK has come up with a novel way to deal with potential thieves: firing chicken**** at them from a 30-foot catapult. Joe Watson-Webb, a retired showman, had the iron trebuchet left over from his days as a showman, and gets his avian ammo from the farm next door. Local cops have said that they will prosecute Watson-Webb if he uses the catapult to defend his property against arsonists and robbers—but what would they think about the other weapon he has up his sleeve? Watson-Webb is also the proud owner of a 20-foot-long cannon, out of which he used to fire his wife!

    He's modded it to shoot rubber-tipped railway sleepers at criminals. And in spite of the police's stance, the 70-year-old is standing firm. "I'm not out to kill anyone or even hurt them," he says. "I just want to keep yobs off my land." Signs up at the entrance to Watson-Webb's flooring business warn of the fate that will befall anyone who attempts to get onto the Nottinghamshire property. SmartPoo, it seems, is no laughing matter. "This is a serious issue. People all over Britain are sick and tired of feeling like prisoners in their own homes and seeing yobs get away with it."

    It will suck to be hit by a bucket full of ****
  3. Illbay


    Jan 15, 2008
    Houston, Texas

    This is what happens when you forbid your serfs...er, "citizens"...to own weapons for self-protection.
  4. GregC

    GregC Johnny and Joe Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 19, 2007
    Yes, let's turn this into yet another gun debate, that's a super swell idea.
  5. Illbay


    Jan 15, 2008
    Houston, Texas
    "Casey got hit
    with a bucket of ****
    and the band played on!

    "He lurched 'round the floor
    and got hit with some more
    while the band played on.

    "He said not a word
    in his mouth was a ****
    His poor girl did shake with alarm!

    "He married the *****
    with the vaginal itch
    while the band played on."

    [one of my fond recollections of my father's many Tin-Pan Alley song parodies]
  6. Illbay


    Jan 15, 2008
    Houston, Texas

    I? I said nothing about "guns!" I said "weapons of self defense!"
  7. Lalabadie

    Lalabadie Guest

    Jan 11, 2007

    This will deal with both of your views in one simple method.

    But seriously, that's one original way of discouraging people. I guess it actually offers protection. You can dodge bullets, but chickenpoopie? Better steal somewhere else.
  8. peterbright


    Jan 23, 2007
    On The Bayou
    I think he ought to bury them in the stuff.
  9. I like the fact that he has a cannon that fires 'rubber tipped' railway sleepers . . . why even bother making them rubber tipped, that be a big lump of wood!
  10. syciprider

    syciprider Banned

    May 27, 2005
    Inland Empire
    Rubber tipped so it doesn't impale you but merely collapses your chest :D

    You're still dead but you're not bleeding as much :)
  11. I dare say, easier for him to clean up :p
  12. Fantastic idea and way more fun than a gun.


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