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Chuck Norris is THE Man...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by charlie monroe, Aug 27, 2012.


  1. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    I don't know if you guys think the Chuck Norris meme is played out already, but I heard a good one today.

    Why aren't there any streets or roads named for Chuck Norris?

    Because nobody crosses CN and lives to tell about it.

    Also,

    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

    Anyone?
     
  2. love them

    chuck norris can slam a revolving door
    chuck norris can gargle peanut butter
    if chuck norris falls off a boat he doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norris
     
  3. idk why, but I just read this one and lost it "chuck norris can whistle in German"
     
  4. RedMoses

    RedMoses

    Jul 4, 2012
    NYC
    Q: Whats behind Chuck Norris' Beard?
    A: Another Fist!
     
  5. colcifer

    colcifer Esteemed Nitpicker Supporting Member

    Feb 10, 2010
    A Galaxy Far, Far Away
    Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
     
  6. BioDriver

    BioDriver A Cinderella story

    Aug 29, 2008
    Austin, TX
    Bruce Lee killed Chuck Norris in Way of the Dragon.
     
  7. fenderhutz

    fenderhutz Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2007
    Harpers Ferry WV
    [​IMG]
     
  8. colcifer

    colcifer Esteemed Nitpicker Supporting Member

    Feb 10, 2010
    A Galaxy Far, Far Away
  9. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups when he works out. CN pushes the Earth down.
     
  10. VitalSigns

    VitalSigns

    May 8, 2011
    Central NY
    Eh, those stopped being funny in 2007.
     
  11. incorrect. the exit is right over there --->
     
  12. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather

    Chuck Norris once lost both legs in a car accident and still managed to walk it off!

    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won!
     
  13. OldDog52

    OldDog52 Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 1, 2011
    Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity but Chuck got it back.

    Steven Seagal is Chuck Norris' beard.
     
  14. Chuck Norris can eat a quarter and crap 2 dimes... there's a 5 cent charge.

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, it's too bad he never cries
     
  15. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    [​IMG]
     
  16. fourstringdrums

    fourstringdrums Decidedly Indecisive Supporting Member

    Oct 20, 2002
    Massachusetts
    Chuck Norris doesn't make mashed potatoes. The potatoes mash themselves out of fear.
     
  17. Rush-2112

    Rush-2112

    Dec 14, 2008
    New York City
    They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore. But the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
     
  18. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Minneapolis
    In Russia, you don't make Chuck Norris joke. Chuck Norris joke make YOU!
     
  19. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Chuck Norris is A man, but not THE man.
     
  20. FilterFunk

    FilterFunk Everything is on the ONE! Supporting Member

    Mar 31, 2010
    I've heard that the sun wears Chuck Norris glasses.
     

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