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CL post, this one really took the cake!

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by H2ODog, Mar 23, 2010.

  1. H2ODog


    Sep 30, 2003
    Roseville, CA
    I read this and thought, this guy can't be for real, but who knows. I'm tempted to reply and ask if he is serious.


    I'm a lead singer/songwriter (because all great singers can write songs, right?) and I'm seeking an entire band to form the most explosive speed-pop-reggae-hip-trip-hop thrashcore-grindcore-deathcore-metalcore-corecore punk-ska-jazz creation ever.

    I need the following:

    - Two Guitarists, one that does lead and one that does rhythm who will be able to play anything and everything in unison. All leads by the lead guitarist shall be at a minimum. It's not all about you, bitch.
    - An accomplished drummer that will not argue with me, and knows his role as the guy in the back farthest from the front of the stage that keeps the beat going. I do not want to have to fight you. You beat on things for fun. Being mute is a plus.
    - Your standard bass player that will on occasion, throw out a vowel or two during the creative process, but no one really gives a **** as to what a bass player has to say anyway. Chances are your bass work will not be heard in the final mixes of our demos. If this hurts your feelings, see drummer for emotional tampon.
    - Previous unsuccessful material that I can critique.

    Please Note: All musicians that are interested must have expensive, QUALITY gear, their own transportation (public is ok), must be punctual (that means on time, drummers), and most of all, be great. You must also have rehearsal space already lined up, as well as PA equipment. Being the singer, I will show up prepared....to sing.

    SERIOUS INQURIES ONLY PLEASE! Don't waste my time like I just wasted yours.
  2. Thor

    Thor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam


  3. "corecore"

    This is hilarious.
  4. H2ODog


    Sep 30, 2003
    Roseville, CA
    I sent a reply "Are you serious", it will be interesting to see what he says, if anything.
  5. :p
    Man this is hilarious, I'm in tears!
  6. Obviously, if this guy is citing genres such as reggae and ska, he lacks a proper understanding of just how important his bass player's contributions will be. I like what he said about the lead gui**** and drummer, but he blew himself out of the water when discussing the bass.

    Flame this POS, if you can.

    Ummm....my post refers to the OP, not the one that just came in above this one.
  7. Exploiter8

    Exploiter8 Demons run when a good man goes to war

    Jan 18, 2010
    Commercial FREE!
    Go for it! Once all of the other members get lined up, FIRE THE SINGER!!

  8. H2ODog


    Sep 30, 2003
    Roseville, CA
    Ok, got a reply from the guy.

    I asked 'are you serious"

    His reply

    "Thanks! Far from it...just venting some CL frustrations, that's all.

    I'm a drummer too by the way...heheh."

    Turns out he's a funny guy.
  9. MonetBass

    MonetBass ♪ Just listen ♫ Supporting Member

    Sep 15, 2006
    Tulsa, OK
    Both of those ads scream "F**K OFF" and in a few weeks, they'll be scratching their heads wondering why they can't seem to get a band together.

  10. FenderAmpeg


    Feb 21, 2009
    So Cal
    Send the "singer" the "bad ass" bassplayers info.

    Band name: Tool Boxing

    All shows are performed in a ring or cage. Two tools boxing it out (or sissy slapping)
  11. H2ODog


    Sep 30, 2003
    Roseville, CA

    You should send a reply and see if this guy is venting also. I just could not believe the one i posted could be serious, turns out he was just venting if it was it would have required a bitch slap!
  12. H2ODog


    Sep 30, 2003
    Roseville, CA
    We are looking fro a singer, our lead guitar did get something similar 2 days ago to his reply . A guy that wanted to be a singer but only wanted to do his set list and would not sing anything else. good luck to him...clown.
  13. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006
    I'm pretty sure he's kidding.
  14. ive seen bad adverts on joinmyband

    ive seen alot that says

    "looking for band to change the face of music with mind melting rock"

    influences include nickleback, fallout boy

    usually stuff like that
  15. Stranger Danger

    Stranger Danger Feel Like A Stranger Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2010
    I just freaking luff CL. My buddy who is a percussionist in ATL loves it so much, they named their band "Casual Encounters".
  16. oh it was quite funny a metal band approched me (after i said like 60 times on my advert I DONT WANT TO BE IN ANOTHER METAL BAND) and there singer said do you have a car

    do you have a drivers licence


    then tell us who will drive us to practeces and gigs

    "why dont you do it ya lazy (insert un christian words here________________________________)

    well it sounds like you dont want to be in this band

  17. H2ODog


    Sep 30, 2003
    Roseville, CA

    LOL! What part of NO don't you understand!
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