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CL wackiness; OC for your consideration(Warning---you may not be able to unsee this)

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Michedelic, Dec 24, 2016.

  1. Michedelic

    Michedelic MId-Century Modern

    #1 Should we get him in touch with the Spectre Sound guy?

    Posted 29 days ago

    Where the Hell are all the good guitar players? (Garden Grove) hide this posting

    What are you afraid of? I KNOW you're out there, sitting in your mom's house - in your underwear - thinking that the crappy "music" you're hearing don't even need a guitar. You'll find a producer who'll throw down some beats and BAM! You'll be the next Vanilla Ice. I hate to break it to you homie, ain't gonna happen. The masses aren't looking to make a 40 something year old with a bit of a beer belly and the beginnings of a comb-over the next big hip-hop star. No, you're gonna have to start thinking rock n roll again. You remember the days, your Marshall stack, Les Paul, long flowing locks of hair and paying to play in Hollywood. Yep, you could have any chick in the club - either one of them (well, if their stupid boyfriends weren't there). You remember the songs, a couple Van Halen tunes, some Quiet Riot, that Slayer song you ALMOST learned all the way through - poopie, if the rest of your band wasn't so lousy, you all coulda been big stars now.

    Well dust off your axe, shave your head and, for God's sake man, put some clothes on! If you're down for playing with a working cover band that covers The Pretenders, Supertramp, The Beatles, Billy Squire, Pink Floyd and Pearl Jam, just to name a few, shoot me an e-mail and let's make a little money!

    #2 I want to party with that dude...not...
    Black Metal Singer!!! hide this posting
    image 1 of 3


    © craigslist - Map data © OpenStreetMap
    (google map)

    I'm in search of a band to sing with, my style of singing is Black Metal, Death Metal, Metal, Rock, Alternative. I enjoy screaming with deep, evil vocals from the bowels, that sounds like every word I sing is coming from the underworld. As if I'm speaking for the devil himself. I am influenced by Abigail Williams, Profanatica, Helrunar, Impending Doom, Falkenbach, Dragonlord, Goatwhore, Deafheaven, Dimmu Borgir, Cradle of Filth, Bethlehem, Agathodaimon, Faith No More, Endstille, Korn, Empyrium, Impending Doom, Krieg, Nirvana, Drastique, Stone Temple Pilots, Ceremonial Castings, Slipknot, Destruction, Blood Tsunami, Tool, Pest Noire, Metallica Azrael, Nightfall, A Perfect Circle, Marilyn Manson, and Black Funeral just to name a few. I need materials such as a microphone and lyrics and a place to sing, I can't sing out loud here.
  2. dbase

    dbase Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2008
    South Jersey, USA..
    I just vomited a little in my mouth .. ;)
  3. JJR58

    JJR58 Dirty Bird Supporting Member

    Dec 2, 2010
    Brooklyn, NY.
    Yeah, I just keeled over with sever cramps and a migraine.
    dbase likes this.
  4. Davey28

    Davey28 Supporting Member

    Feb 19, 2015
    Gaylord, Mi.
    Wonder what these dudes are doing for Christmas?
  5. Grumry


    Jul 6, 2016
    That black metal singer guy probably holds a candle shaped like a skull while he sings in his closet.

    I'd like to hear it.
    rllefebv, S-Bigbottom and dbase like this.
  6. lostreality


    Sep 2, 2016
    "Vocals from the bowels"

    Don't think I want to use the microphone when this guy gets done with it...
  7. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    diversity: sometimes it's not for the faint of heart. :D
    Les Ismoor, Ubersheist, Dug2 and 8 others like this.
  8. Davey28

    Davey28 Supporting Member

    Feb 19, 2015
    Gaylord, Mi.
    Now, that's funny right there!
    Imaginary Pony, dbase and JRA like this.
  9. Lowendtech

    Lowendtech Happily trending in my own peculiar direction. Supporting Member

    Please let me unsee this......pretty please......
    dbase likes this.
  10. Trabeen

    Trabeen Supporting Member

    Aug 5, 2009
    The pornstache and skullet tells me that the black metal dude means business.
  11. dbase

    dbase Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2008
    South Jersey, USA..
    No need to show, chicks and food for this post .. ;)
    BassFishingInAmerica likes this.
  12. Ellery


    Mar 25, 2015
    "Vocals from the bowels"...I hope he means the mouth side.
  13. Oddly

    Oddly Unofficial TalkBass Cartographer! Supporting Member

    Jan 17, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland.
    You know, sometimes I'm just happy CraigsList never took off in Ireland...
    seang15 likes this.
  14. Michedelic

    Michedelic MId-Century Modern

    Why, this of course...
    PortlandBass77, Wavy and rtav like this.
  15. Davey28

    Davey28 Supporting Member

    Feb 19, 2015
    Gaylord, Mi.
  16. BassFishingInAmerica


    Jul 24, 2014
    Isn't it obvious? They are baking cookies, collecting donations and spreading cheer and goodwill to all people.
    japhy4529 likes this.
  17. Bodeanly

    Bodeanly Supporting Member

    Mar 20, 2015
    The Santa in me really wants to give these two dudes to each other for Christmas.
  18. Fat Freddy

    Fat Freddy Supporting Member

    Feb 23, 2016
    Albany NY

    Who's the skinny guy?......:)
    Rabidhamster likes this.
  19. whiteox


    Sep 19, 2014
    Great now I have to go cry/ touch myself in the shower. It's all your fault op
    Ubersheist, dbase and Michedelic like this.
  20. jaybones

    jaybones Banned

    Mar 4, 2015
    Kelleys Island, Ohio
    A bit? Sure hate to see when he finally gets that full beer belly.

    No, the metal singer is baking the cookies and the first guy is eating them. All of them!

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