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Commitment levels and holidays over busy period

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Octaves, Nov 2, 2013.


  1. Octaves

    Octaves

    Jun 22, 2012
    Have finally found a good group of people to work with. All commited in terms of attending regular rehearsals and learning the material only problem is, their damned planned holidays during the busy period.

    Granted, we only just recruited the guitarist and drummer (september), but they've both got one month long holidays planned from middle Dec - end Jan, which means, in effect, we'd be unable to gig then. Just as well we're not quite prepared for this year, but i can't go through this again net year. I mean, both men will be away on NYE! Which means we potentially can't accept any NYE gigs!

    I'm planning on meeting up with them next week to go over the business end of things.

    How should i raise the issue of availability to gig, esp. for the peak season next year, sept - feb?

    Btw, one is married with ault children who don't live at home, the other (drummer) is 28. I don't expect the drummer to hang around, however, the guitarist is past that period in his life where he must appease wifey, and should be happy to earn the $$$.
     
  2. Oneirogenic

    Oneirogenic

    Nov 10, 2009
    You sound like a pain to be in a band with. Loosen up or up find different band members.
     
  3. seanm

    seanm I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize! Supporting Member

    Feb 19, 2004
    Ottawa, Canada
    Sorry to hear that the guitar players wife died :atoz:

    If NYE is really important to you, you might want to start looking for another guitar player. Many non-pros will not play NYE because they either don't want the hassle or they want to be out partying!
     
  4. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    That was the EXACT same thought I had. There is NO SUCH THING as the period AFTER you have to please the wife.

    If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

    Question(s):
    Are you guys weekend warriors or a professional corporate/private party band?

    How much money do you guys actually make?

    The reason I ask is that there are levels of serious. If you guys are a weekend warrior cover/bar band that makes less than a grand per show tops then you are pissing and moaning over nothing. You can't expect a stellar level of commitment.

    On the other hand, if you guys are a semi-pro act that pulls down several grand per show and does a lot of private/corporate stuff, then you need to tell them to commit or you will start looking for someone else.

    But if everybody's cut is a hundred bucks or less from most gigs, you are asking a lot to have them NOT go on holidays with the family...... or even "just" the wife.

    One more question. Are YOU "past the point" where you have to keep your wife happy or are you single? (I'm going to wager divorced.)
     
  5. Octaves

    Octaves

    Jun 22, 2012
    No, im an awesome person to be in a band with. I said "during the busy period".
     
  6. AaronVonRock

    AaronVonRock

    Feb 22, 2013
    Bangkok
    People like to go on well-deserved holidays. Nothing unprofessional about that.

    I went on a 6-week holiday during the summer and will be on a 3-week holiday starting Dec. 16. Others in the band do the same thing. Our singer has been on holiday the past two weeks. We all have wives and lives outside the band.
     
  7. Octaves

    Octaves

    Jun 22, 2012
    Good points raised. Guitarist has the aspiration to be a professional / party band, as per his comments, so i'm going to put it to him that way. He can't have it both ways.

    I don't think you read what i wrote. During PEAK PERIOD, eg, summer and Christmas. They all have expectations of earning lots of money. We are a niche band by the way, so not a dime a dozen in our genre.

    Ironically, in order to get from semi pro to pro, then you need the commitment. Many people want a free ride. I am rearing to go with getting us more gigs. I am good at what i do and determined.

    Bybthe way, marriage question. Neither. It has nothing to do with that, it is to do with integrity, making a commitment and seeing things through. Notbmy fault if most men are babies and need a wifey to make them feel good aout themseves. I bet wifey wouldn't complain if there was $1000 per week coming in from gigs. It's up to thm to be man about it and tell them to sit down and shut up, and wait for the $ to come in. But, as i said, that requires patience and some commitment. If they think the grass is greener, then they should just go there.
     
  8. Dave W

    Dave W

    Mar 1, 2007
    White Plains
    IME Christmas time is definitely not a peak period. With the exception of NYE the winter can be very hit or miss.

    If you're not ready to gig this year there is no point in raising a stink about it for next year. You may not even be together by then. I know I wouldn't want to play in a band where taking a vacation with my family was shunned upon.
     
  9. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Well, you are making blanket statements about marriage and finances. My wife makes a lot of money. So, $1,000 per week would not impress her much. Also, I actually ENJOY hanging out with her. So, if we go on a trip together, then it is NOT because I had to "keep her happy". We like hanging out together. The guys down at Stinky's Bar and Grill will just have to listen to another "niche" band when I can't be there.

    Sounds like you need to find other guys who are a committed as you. You will drive these guys away anyway with your complaining about commitment all the time. It is only a matter of time before they'll be gone anyway. Might as well start looking now. ;)

    Soooooooooooo my marriage statement offered several options. There was "single", "divorced", and "past the point of having to keep a wife happy". How can you be neither? That pretty much covers the spectrum unless I missed something.
     
  10. Octaves

    Octaves

    Jun 22, 2012
    Really? So, it's alright to be called "a pain in the arse"? Yet, somehow i don't deserve 'defending'? it's okay, perfectly able to defend myself.

    i think this thread addresses many hang ups that married people have about possibly giving up their dreams to follow their real hobby and wondering what life on the other side would have looked like. Not my fault you made your deciions, just sick of brow beaten men using their wives as excuses for their inability to really stand up and do what they want.

    Why is this something i should have gone over from the start? Maybe they should have been realistic and HOEST with themselves at the outset. I did say "availability to gig regularly" in the ad. Since when does that mean "take 6 weeks odd during the eak band season and epect me to be okay with it"?

    Sheesh.
     
  11. Octaves

    Octaves

    Jun 22, 2012
    Gee, defensive much? Your post is really not helping. I didn't ask for a run down of your relationship.
     
  12. If you need a higher level of commitment, you need different guys, simple as that. Probably younger, unmarried guys.
    Everybody has a different idea of what 'having a life' means, you know.
     
  13. Hmm. NYE can be one of the biggest paydays of year, maybe you’re not making enough money - out of curiosity, how much are you paying each member?
     
  14. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Nope. But your know-it-all attitude about marriage in general (and pretty much everything so far) begged to be straightened out. Good luck there, Buddy. You're going to need it.
     
  15. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    He doesn't seem to want to sprinkle any facts in with his ramblings. His relationship problems (of which there are/were obviously many) and the amount of money his band does/does not make are top secret I suppose.

    Fear not. This guy is on his way straight to the top!
     
  16. Dave W

    Dave W

    Mar 1, 2007
    White Plains
    Between this thread and the other thread about band members jamming with other musicians, well I'm not sure what to say.
     
  17. That guy was a jerk, then you were jerk back, putting you both on the same level, so no, no defending. Keep it civil.

    Any yes, it absolutely should have been discussed before forming a band together. If they mis-represented their availability and commitment, that really, really sucks. I think we've all been there, I know I have, and it's disappointing as hell. There's not really anything advice can do for your situation; you can influence how these people structure their priorities. I think I agree with you a little insofar as I think people do like to use the words 'wife' or 'family' as shorthand for 'infallible excuse'; it's not for us to tell people what to consider important in their lives, but they also don't need to act like those things empirically untouchable.

    Hopefully, you can talk to these guys and get more honest, or at least less optimistic, answers, but if this is how it's starting, i don't see it ending in a way you'll like. Sorry to hear.
     
  18. Dave W

    Dave W

    Mar 1, 2007
    White Plains
    How many dates per year do you plan on playing anyways?
     
  19. Octaves

    Octaves

    Jun 22, 2012
    If you read my first post carefully, you will see that i asked for suggestions on how to go about approaching this with others, not your personal judgement and life story. I don't recall saying i've 'complained'. That is your perception. Make what you like of that statement and feel free to make your usual inflamatory misinformed statements. You've thus far managed that, although little useful input.

    Btw, this guy likes playing with us, but if he proves to be 'flakey', which you have implied by your childish "he will move on anyway" and smiley face comment, then so be it.

    I'm really not sure what you mean about Stinky's bar, but if you're happy playing there, then go your hardest!
     
  20. Octaves

    Octaves

    Jun 22, 2012
    We would like to play at least twice per week.
     

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