Confused about what to do with a domestic abuse situation I'm aware of.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by cassanova, Mar 20, 2011.

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  1. Tracebassplayer

    Tracebassplayer Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light.

    Dec 15, 2000
    Portland, OR
    WWDLD -- What Would Dr. Laura Do ????
  2. Tracebassplayer

    Tracebassplayer Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light.

    Dec 15, 2000
    Portland, OR
    Seriously, I support your plan...
  3. Batmensch


    Jul 4, 2010
    Media, PA.
    Didn't know you were a certified counselor.What you propose seems a logical course.
  4. None of us are certified counselors.
  5. Cassanova is.
  6. cheezewiz


    Mar 27, 2002
    Certified by who? With a post grad degree?
  7. Selta


    Feb 6, 2002
    Pacific Northwet
    Total fanboi of: Fractal Audio, AudiKinesis Cabs, Dingwall basses

    Geeze, Cheeze, he said so in his own post:
    Also, I don't think you need post-grad education to become certified as a counselor.
  8. Tracebassplayer

    Tracebassplayer Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light.

    Dec 15, 2000
    Portland, OR
  9. cassanova


    Sep 4, 2000
    You don't need post grad education to become certified. However, I do hold a degree in what I do and am certified. I am giving serious consideration to towards obtaining the Certified Addictions Professional status, though I do need quite a bit more hours in order to obtain it. I bolded the one I am so it's easier to find in the post. Though I'm certified, what I am not is licensed. There is a difference. The jobs I've held since graduating have allowed their employees to work under their license. Which is perfectly legal. One day when I finish the masters degree I hope to obtain my own license and actually open my own agency.

    Substance Abuse Counselor Certification Requirements in the State of Florida |

    Certified Addiction Specialist

    The Certified Addiction Specialist requires substance abuse counselors to have a minimum 2,000 hours of experience working in the addiction field. No specific degree is necessary for the credential, but applicants have at least 150 hours of training. At least 70 hours of this training is allocated to eight professional practice dimensions: evaluation, treatment planning, referrals, service coordination, counseling, client and family education, documentation and ethics. A minimum of 74 hours must deal with understanding addiction and professional readiness. Six hours of training in HIV and domestic violence are also mandatory. Applicants must also undergo 100 hours of supervised practice and submit three letters of recommendation. Eligible candidates must take and pass a test called the Florida Specific Examination.

    Certified Addiction Counselor

    The Certified Addiction Counselor designation requires a minimum of a high school diploma or GED and 6,000 hours of experience and 300 hours of documented supervision in the addiction field. Applicants who have an associate degree or higher need only 4,000 hours of experience and 150 hours of documented supervision. CACs need 250 hours of training related to substance abuse counseling. At least 130 hours must relate to the eight professional practice dimensions necessary for CAS certification, and an additional 114 hours must deal with understanding addiction and professional readiness. Six hours of domestic violence and HIV training are also required. Like those for CAS certification, Certified Addiction Counselor applicants must pass the Florida Specific Exam and provide three letters of recommendation.

    Certified Addiction Professional

    A minimum of a bachelor's degree is necessary to earn the Certified Addiction Professional designation in Florida. Baccalaureate degree recipients need 6,000 hours of work experience, 300 hours of which must include direct supervision. Applicants who possess master's degrees require only 4,000 hours of work experience with 200 hours of supervision. All CAP applicants must demonstrate 350 hours of professional training in substance abuse counseling. This training must consist of 190 hours on the eight professional practice dimensions, 154 hours on understanding addiction and professional readiness and six hours on HIV and domestic violence. Three letters of recommendation are necessary. The CAP level of certification requires candidates to pass the IC&RC Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse Counselor written examination in addition to the Florida Specific Exam.
  10. cheezewiz


    Mar 27, 2002
    Thanks for clarifying that. It just seemed odd to me that someone in the profession would be asking advice for a situation he is trained to handle.
  11. Tracebassplayer

    Tracebassplayer Sometimes Darkness Can Show You The Light.

    Dec 15, 2000
    Portland, OR
    That's why you get a second opinion besides your doctor's - who's trained for the situation he's in. Most Doctor's consult with each other on cases anyway...
    "I have a patient that presents ..... what do you think?"
  12. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Right on.

  13. cassanova


    Sep 4, 2000
    No problem. I can see how it would appear odd.

    The biggest difference between him and an actual client is, all clients are granted confidentiality. If he were any other client, I would not be allowed to call the authorities or a hot line on the situation. The only way I could breach confidentiality would be, if it was learned that the client was abusing people. This situation is different because he's not a client, hence I'm not bound by any confidentiality.

    It's the lack of confidentiality that had me pondering if it was worth reporting it. Reporting it was actually the only aspect of the situation that I was perplexed about. The actual advice I gave him was no different than anyone else I would counsel.
  14. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    If this were going on behind his back, there might be something for you to do. But since it's going on in front of his back, I'd say leave it alone. Maybe some support as a friend would help, but I'd stay out of it otherwise.
  15. MEKer

    MEKer Supporting member

    May 30, 2006
    He is a weak person, she is a whacko. "Talk" will not change it.

    There will be no"Eureka" moment when either says---"Oh, I get it. Now, I will be loving and compassionate and make this marriage work."

    None of this will end well based on the personalities of the two you have described. And, OP, you will not make it end well.

    It will end when it ends-----and if you are concerned, just keep an eye on the kids and THAT'S what needs to be reported if you get a hint of danger to them.

    Too bad.
  16. yep...therapy only works when they genuinely want it,and even then it's hit and miss.....i don't see any good coming out of interfering,except as above to intervene if the kids are at risk.....
  17. Skitch it!

    Skitch it!

    Sep 6, 2010
    I think cassanova, considering the field that he works in, has probably made an informed risk assessment in this instance. Regardless if his friend uptakes his advice here, a situation like this I feel is worthy of intervention, before something irreversible happens. What concerns me is how his friend is going to deal with it, if/when his 'loved one' finally commits to this 'other' guy. There is definite risk here imo, this friend isn't an unknown quantity, I don't think cassanova would have posted this original OP if he didn't consider it as such. You can but try.
  18. coming from here,the land of therapy i've seen enough to question that....a few sessions with a therapist are unlikely to change any life long behaviors.....

  19. Skitch it!

    Skitch it!

    Sep 6, 2010
    They did mine ; )
  20. cassanova


    Sep 4, 2000
    So, I went there today and had a talk with them. I stuck to my plan and it didn't go well. He was cool, she was the one that had a problem with it.

    She was highly offended, telling me I didn't know what I was talking about, that things are better than what others think between them, and that me and his family need to butt out. She also doesn't want him associating with me anymore. She also said "you are no longer welcome in MY house."

    He was a lot mellower about it. He thanked me for the concern, reiterated to me why he keeps trying to work it out. Which was the same ole, same ole, "I love her," "I'm doing it for the kids," and classic "I'm afraid I won't get to see my daughter/she'll resent me for walking out like my other kids do" line of crap. He actually asked her why she said she doesn't want him associating with me anymore. Her reason, "He is like the others, trying to destroy our marriage!"

    As I was leaving, per her demand, I pointed out (and made sure she could hear it) that we're not trying to destroy his marriage, she's been busted in her ways, and has now been called out on it and she feels threatened by that because we're trying to help you see it more clearly. I also pointed out that the house is both of theirs, not just hers as she made it sound.

    He also said he's going to talk to her about not being able to remain friends with me. I believe him, though knowing her, I have a feeling she'll bury him. I'm actually okay with not being welcome there by her, because truth be told, none of us have ever really liked her, and I don't go over there that often anymore because of her.
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    Primary TB Assistant

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    Sep 27, 2021

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