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Coolest moment of my life, ever.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by SpankBass, Nov 6, 2004.

  1. So I was at work tonight, casually flirting with one of the female employees, as usual. We started getting a little too playful, and to make a long story short, I got sprayed in the eye with All Purpose Cleaner/Degreaser. The bottle reads:
    If eye contact is made SEEK IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION!

    Fun stuff.

    So at the hospital, tehey first start putting all kinds of stuff in my eye, to look for abrasions and to check the pH level. I should note that it was pretty cool since some of the stuff made it like I was wearing amber sunglasses. Anyway, they said no abrasions, normal pH level, then they I could have sworn I heard them say "...get the morphine drip...". I wasn't too happy when they bring in an what looked like an IV rack and a bag of clear liquid, I thought I was getting a friggin eye replacement or something.

    But it turned out to be MUCH more fun than that!

    It was actually water, hooked up to this tube that was hooked up to a giant plastic lens that they STUCK IN MY EYE AND LET THE WATER DRIP ON IT FOR 20 FRIGGIN MINUTES! I will admit, that it was quite relaxing until my eyelid started to get tired for being open for 20 minutes.

    Its times like these that I am glad that Allah created the picture phone:
  2. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    coolest moment ever huh?

  3. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    I'd say that woman owes you serious. Make of it what you will.
  4. Bryan R. Tyler

    Bryan R. Tyler TalkBass: Usurping My Practice Time Since 2002 Staff Member Administrator Gold Supporting Member

    May 3, 2002
    I don't mean to be cold-hearted, but that picture made me laugh out loud. Sorry about the eye stuff though-my sister sprayed me in the eyes with Tough Act when I was little.
  5. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    I got hit in the eye last year with Drano. I sure as heck didn't go to any hospital... I just sorta swore a few times, and kept fixing the sink (long story). Then I went and got some Twizzlers.

    Does that mean I'm hardcore, or stupid?
  6. YES.

    I've had a scratched cornea before, it was fun. I got most of the stuff you mentioned minus the drip.
  7. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    I thought this was going completely somewhere else, given the title of the thread.
  8. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    I have a related story.

    One time I was messing around with some buddies and one of them decided to toss some lemonade into my eye.

    I saw it comming and closed my eye before it hit but pretended it got in my eye and started screaming "IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" really loud to mess with their heads. Well they got worried since I was freaking out and came over to make sure I was ok so I take my hands from my face and I open my eyes but before I get a chance to tell them I was messing with them, the lemonade actually got in my eye, and I started freaking out and yelling "IT REALLY BURNS! IT BURNS FOR REAL!"

    They of course started falling on the floor laughing while I ran around looking for a water fountain to rinse my eye out with.
  9. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Great punchline.
  10. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    Its nothing without the grunts of pain and the frantic blind running.
  11. pierce

    pierce freethinker

    May 25, 2000
    San Francisco, Ca

    saline drip
  12. JimK


    Dec 12, 1999
    Where you guys making out in the janitor's closet?
    Was she defending herself?
    ...or both?
  13. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    And that, my friends, is what you call karma.
  14. Stephen Soto

    Stephen Soto

    Oct 12, 2003
    Haha that's crazy. Hey spank, are you going to NAMM again this year?
  15. NAMM is on like Donkey Kong.

    I see that I made it sound like I was attacking her with naughty intent and she defended herself with a spray bottle, but I assure you that is only half true.

    She was spraying my pants (nice work pants) with this stuff, so I tried to wrestle it from her to spray her back then make love to her or something, but I ended up getting a stream of it in my eye, so I whacked her in the head with a stack of 32oz cups.

    The picture is pretty damn funny, as it really did feel cool to have a tube in my eye and water (saline I guess) dripping in my eye.
  16. Don't_Fret

    Don't_Fret Justin Schornstein

    Dec 10, 2003

    Smooth move, Dr. Love. :p
  17. kserg


    Feb 20, 2004
    London, UK
    My feelings exactly... i should try that move... maybe it works... you never know!
  18. Toasted


    May 26, 2003
    Leeds, UK
    Thats cool :)
  19. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    I'm waiting for the coolest TB moment ever....which will come on Monday when the boss calls you in and FIRES your ass!! :D

    brad cook
  20. I AM the boss. :)