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Crazy Morning

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Joe Nerve, Oct 28, 2013.

  1. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    I have a friend at my day job that I've had a longtime love/hate relationship with. We were good friends until a little over a year ago when he kind of inappropriately exploded on me one day in our work cafeteria. He was totally out of line (there were many witnesses who affirmed it), and he never apologized. Because we see each other every day I kinda let it slide... But never really trusted the guy after that.

    He and I argue about diet, constantly. He's been an Atkins guy for about 12 years, and eats nothing but meat. I'm a vegetarian. I don't really care what anybody else eats, but this guy preached constantly about carbs, and it was hard not to get into it with him....

    Anyhow, on Friday he texted me asking for money for a surprise party for a coworker who's getting married. He didn't know I was going to the woman's wedding, and I won't be able to go to the surprise party (just a small 1 hour work thing). I'm not going to donate, and woke up this morning ready for an argument with him. I knew full well he was going to give me a hard time, judge me, and yada, yada, yada....

    As he's usually one of the first people I see in the morning I entered the building prepared as I realized I never returned his text. I was greeted by another coworker as soon as I walked in the door, and was told that he died yesterday. Of a massive heart attack.

    I'm numb, and actually just venting here.... There's more to this story.

    Our diet arguments revolved around which was a healthier diet. All meat no carbs, or no meat, low carbs (talkin processed carbs here). A big part of our conversations ended by joking that this will be settled by who dies first. And then we'd joke about snickering at the wake and funeral. We joked about that a lot, too... So people knew about it. We had a contest going on....

    I won.

    He was 2 years younger than me.

    I feel really really effed up right now. Despite our misgivings and differences, he ws a friend. Vent over.

    At the risk of sounding cliche - cherish your days. They're numbered, and there's no telling when that numbers coming up. But you all already know that. It's just amplified for me right now.
  2. That sucks, you have my condolences, it's always an added shock when it's so out of the blue.

    Chin up, forget the falling outs and remember the better arguments.
  3. THand


    Jun 9, 2008
    Joe....I'm sorry for the sudden loss of your friend. I don't know what else to say.
  4. BurningSkies

    BurningSkies CRAZY BALDHEAD Supporting Member

    Feb 20, 2005
    Syracuse NY
    Endorsing artist: Dingwall Guitars
  5. Webtroll

    Webtroll Rolling for initiative

    Apr 23, 2006
    Austin, TX
    And you assume the heart attack was due to the diet and are claiming victory? I'm not sure you're all that torn up about it, actually. He could have had a genetic heart condition or something else that lead to the heart attack, but hey, go ahead and chalk it up to a victory, he's dead, yes? You won! Yay! :rollno:
  6. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Looking for a gig around East Islip, NY!

    Jan 13, 2008
    I'd think you'd know Joe enough by this point to know he wasn't being serious with that.
  7. Webtroll

    Webtroll Rolling for initiative

    Apr 23, 2006
    Austin, TX
    Ah, my bad and my apologies. It just struck me as off somehow. I say things that rub people the wrong way all the time and I may have just done so again.
  8. MetalSearGolid

    MetalSearGolid Cyperpunk Cowboy

    Aug 29, 2013
    Michigan, USA
    That sucks man. My condolences for your loss.
  9. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    I have my "spiritual juice" for the next few days now. Sorry Joe. Are you having guilty feelings? If so, I hope you get everything resolved.
  10. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Wow buddy, terrible way to end that relationship. Bummer.

  11. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    You didn't kill him, man.

    He was a jerk, but he was a friend, and now he's gone. Been there, done that. Go ahead and feel some guilt, and then get over it. You really haven't done anything wrong here.
  12. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    I have never agreed with you more than right now. This is perfectly stated. Process the bad and then move on. I bicker like crazy with some of my best friends. That doesn't make them any less friends.

    Sorry for your loss Joe.
  13. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    Thanks for that.

    Of course I wasn't serious. I've got crazy mixed emotions right now. Should have probably waited and processed my feelings a bit before posting. I appreciate the support, and no hard feelings to webtroll.

    To make things even more interesting today, I'm covering the guys classes, and had to tell his first few classes the news. His 4th period class is in the school auditorium (he was the band teacher), and a few of the kids were really busted up because they knew him for years. I was talking with them when an idiot came into the auditorium that wasnt in the class. Real nicely I told him he had to leave, and he decided to give me a hard time. I asked again and he sat down, ignoring me. Without getting upset I told him this wasnt a good time to be playing game and if he didn't leave I'd have to get security to escort him out. Another kid yelled at him saying, "Don't be a dick man, out teacher died! Get ou!" The intruder got up to lunge at him, another kid got between to keep them from fighting, and all 3 got into the sickest fistfight I ever saw in my life. They were killing each other over the bolted down seats.... Argh.... And of course security takes a while to get there. Took about 10 guards to break them up. I'm not allowed to get involved, and I'm happy about that actually. Gotta write it up now though... Which is what I should be doing, not this.

    Messed up day. And I'm the new music teacher for a while now.

    Thanks fer listenin guys.
  14. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Sorry to hear about this Joe. Thanks for being real and talking about these things here.
  15. RS


    Aug 27, 2000
    Cleveland, OH
    Not surprising. Maybe the guy had a genetic condition or some other risk factor, but Atkins is a terrible long term health diet. Despite the claim the vegs/vegans are the militant ones about diets, I have found though my broad experience that the Atkins crowd is much more stubborn. There is likely nothing you could have said that would have made a difference in terms of him changing his mind about his dietary choices. Certainly you shouldn't feel guilty about that, and it sounds like you took the high road with your communications with him.

    Anyway, that sucks and take away what positives you can.
  16. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Good morning Joe. At least it is morning here where I live.
  17. MetalSearGolid

    MetalSearGolid Cyperpunk Cowboy

    Aug 29, 2013
    Michigan, USA
    Technically it was when you posted that (by two minutes, haha). Damn man wish I lived in Cali instead of cold-as-hell Michigan.
  18. Webtroll

    Webtroll Rolling for initiative

    Apr 23, 2006
    Austin, TX
    Dang Joe that's terrible. What the hell is up with so many kids today?
  19. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    Good morning Slobake. I believe it was 10am when you posted that. Thanks fer checking in here.

    Weird days yesterday and today. Most of my school is very much in shock.

    Just wrote 2 long paragraphs but decided they belong in my journal, not here. Brain is in a bit in a fog...
  20. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    Sorry to hear about this Joe....:(
    Thanks for sharing this. Hang in there

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