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dads of teenage girls ('.' content)

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by EBodious, Jul 20, 2012.

  1. EBodious


    Aug 2, 2006
    hey y'all. i have not been around here too much lately. but it is good to see that low-hanging pants and butt-cracks can still generate 12 pages!

    anyways, this past weekend my 12.5 yr old daughter got her first period. me and her mom are not together anymore. fortunately (for all involved) she was with her mom when it happened. so, they took care of getting my daughter going on this next phase of her life.

    i however, would like any thoughts out there from dads who have been down this road before me. i have a solid relationship with my daughter. but she is a pretty private person, and thinks she knows it all (naturally). so, she doesn't much talk to me about her personal stuff. and her period would be particularly personal. i do my part to keep the lines of communication open in "i'm here when you need me" kind of way, but i don't push her into deep talks cause she tends to clam up.

    so, i am looking for advice of how to approach the subject (she offered me nothing this week, i heard about it from her mom). at some point, she will be with me when she gets it and we will need to have some kind of dialogue established. i am just not sure how to get into it with her or how to be tactful and effective in opening up that door.

    thanks, in advance, for any help or encouragement y'all haver to offer!
  2. Tituscrow

    Tituscrow Banned

    Feb 14, 2011
    NW England
    Whatever advice you receive and choose to take/ignore, be ready for fellas like me to ask the same thing in about 5 years! Good luck...but it sounds as if this will be a complete non-issue for you and your girl :)
  3. hdracer


    Feb 15, 2009
    Elk River, MN.
    Trust me, she does not want to talk to you about it.
    Talk to her mom and make sure she has what she needs when she is with you.
  4. hover


    Oct 4, 2008
    That is exactly correct HD.

    Father of a 17.75 year old here. Trust me. She ain't talkin to you about it. I have a solid relationship with my Daughter too, and it has come up exactly 0 times, save for *bathroom etiquette*. ONLY time it will come up...ever...is if she runs out and needs you to buy some or take her to the store so she can.
  5. emor


    May 16, 2004
    Show her this thread; let her know you care.
  6. EBodious


    Aug 2, 2006
    yeah, that si sort of what i assume will be the default solution. i wouldn't mind being the ultimate dad that can talk to his daughter about her menstruation, but maybe that is a pipe dream.
  7. EBodious


    Aug 2, 2006
    and yes, mostly i just want her to feel like she can talk to me in some sort of terms if she needs something from me.
  8. hover


    Oct 4, 2008
    Ultimate Dad, in this capacity, is simply supporting her needs as they arise, and respecting privacy...
  9. hdracer


    Feb 15, 2009
    Elk River, MN.
    Just reassure her about that with out bringing up this subject.

    BTW, my princess just turned 21 :crying:
  10. beyond "dad i added something to the grocery list" or "dad i need you to run me to the drug store" what more dialogue do u need?
  11. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    Nailed it.

    My youngest is fast approaching that time too I fear. My 26 year old girl gave me all the experience I need.

    A few things to think of and to be pro-active with.

    1) Get a small hamper and small bags that are not see through. When they first start they are not too good at knowing when it's coming on. She wont want you to know so keep those where she can put her clothes without any fan fair. More than likely they will go home with mom instead of her doing the laundry with you. That was the case with me.

    2) Related to above. She will take some showers/baths at odd times now, don't ask, she's already embarrassed :)

    3) Find out from mom if midol or it's ilk is being used. Buy some and keep it in the med cabinet.

    4) Extra pants, shorts and underwear are a good idea to keep at your place.

    It's not the end of the world dad, but I'll be damned if it didn't get to me that my lil girl was growing up faster than I wanted. Having said that it's pretty cool to watch them turn into a woman of worth.
  12. I would just like to say I appreciate the cleverness in the thread title.
  13. EBodious


    Aug 2, 2006
    thanks again, all. i knew i would get some sound advice here.
  14. DreadRaver


    Nov 19, 2008
    Associate of Cusack Music / Mojo Hand FX

    What the heck would you want to talk to your daughter about her period for, anyway?!?!?

    I am a dad of a 20 y/old...
    I don't know when she had her first period, or any period, period!

    I never had any special talks with my daughter, and she's a fine young woman now, and our relationship is great.

    Leave that stuff for her mother!
  15. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    the Cali Intergalctic Mind Space
    Song Surgeon slow downer software- full 4 hour demo
    I suggest you speak to your ex more in detail about what was told to your daughter.

    It's still your responsibility to educate her on the ways of the world from a dad's point of view.

    You could let her know that you're also available to talk to about any subject. Whatever she talks to you about, never pass judgement. Let her talk, talk about what choices are available and what the consequences could be depending on the choice.

    The first time you pass judgement, she'll never open up to you again. She's looking for answers, not criticism.

    I do suggest you educate yourself and speak to your ex about the HPV vaccine, birth control, dating, wearing makeup, etc. as it applies to your daughter and how you want to go about implementing/influencing her transition to adulthood.

    Btw, my daughter is 33 and mother of 2. Got a fine education and is great mom. I've never once yelled at her. It was my promise to myself after growing up where people yelled all the time for basically no reason.
  16. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Don't try and be the 'ultimate dad' here. It is no negative reflection on you as a father to not be involved with this part of her life.

    If anything, the ultimate dad will be the one running to the store at midnight to pick up her supplies for her.

  17. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    There's definitely no need to talk to her about this, but it does serve as a reminder that she is now technically sexually active, and capable of becoming pregnant. "The Talk" is a difficult thing to approach, but in my opinion, it's important. I have been close to many young girls/women, due to girlfriends with kids, cousins, etc, and I try to make sure they understand a few things, as far as what IS/ISN'T expected of them; how to be safe both emotionally and physically, etc.

    These are tough times for dads with daughters, and you have to rise to the challenge. You need to be mature, loving, and responsible.

    And it's not a one time deal. It's ongoing.
  18. bassinplace


    Dec 1, 2008
    Disclaimer: I don't have kids, so take it fwiw, but I think her and her mom probably have that territory covered and I would imagine she's comfortable with it that way. Anything else I would think she can probably handle on her own. If she needs you you're there, but I would think this is a part of her life she may not want you involved in.
  19. SBassman


    Jun 8, 2003
    Northeast, US
    Winning answer.

    | By the way, I'm a veteran of - 4 teenage girls.

    Most young ladies would rather stick pins in their eyes than discuss this with their Dads.
    Of course, YMMV.

    My advice - say nothing, stoke nothing, and just Listen. If she needs an assist, she'll let you know.
  20. pocketgroove


    Jun 28, 2010
    Really, besides having supplies available and being kind and understanding (as her hormone levels will be changing in a way she's not used to and doesn't yet know how to cope with), there's not much to talk about. It happens for a few days each month, then it goes away, and that's that.

    Also, FunkyGhost had some really great advice, so far as being prepared yet sensitive.

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