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Darwin Awards

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by P. Aaron, Mar 8, 2003.


  1. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    This may be old, but here goes:

    Once again, it's time to name the Darwin Award nominees and the winner of 2002. The Darwins are awarded every year to the persons who died (or almost died) in the stupidest way. These are named "Darwin Awards" because it is hoped that "Survival of the Fittest" means something. Hopefully these people haven't passed along their stupidity.
    This year's nominees are:

    Nominee 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

    Nominee 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, Michigan, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

    Nominee 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, North Carolina. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

    Nominee 4: [UPI, Toronto]: Police said a lawyer, demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper, crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

    Nominee 5: [Bloomberg News Service]: A terrible diet and a room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body and an autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near-airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

    Nominee 6: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

    Nominee 7: [The Indianapolis Star]: A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gun powder ignited.
     
  2. Gia

    Gia

    Feb 28, 2001
    roseability
    All men I see :D ;)
     
  3. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Nominee 5: [Bloomberg News Service]: A terrible diet and a room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body and an autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near-airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

    Nominee 6: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

    One of these two. I have serious doubts that either contain a shred of truth, but they are really funny.
     
  4. =^..^=

    =^..^=

    Jan 25, 2001
    Stuck on a rock !
    I had actually heard about that one before - and not from the internet. Doesn't make it true of course.
     
  5. Nominee 5 is gonna be the winner. Real or not, that is hilarious.
     
  6. That's actually pretty horrific.


    Still amusing though.:eek: :rolleyes: :cool:
     
  7. I like the one about the guy who decided to kill a cockroach using a .22 calibre rifle. The bullet ricoched of a stone and hit his best friend in the head.

    Next time just STAMP ON IT!!! :D

    There was also the one where the guy decided to take a leak in a thunderstorm against a metal fence. Needless to say lightning struck the fence and the electricity took the path of least resistance up the man's urine stream and made his penis explode.

    Ouch.

    (these are both on the site somewhere, I remember reading them)