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Dating older women

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by klejst, Jan 8, 2013.

  1. klejst


    Oct 5, 2010
    So long story short I hung out with my friend tonight and over a couple beers and just talking about whatever we start talking about women. He then starts to tell me how he met and is talking to these two women. They seem interested in him early on and he seems interested in them to at least see what could happen but also is taking it slow and not rushing anything.

    Anyways one is 34, great job, takes care of herself and things going for her in life, no kids and is looking to date now and see if it could become something more. He showed me a picture and she is cute. The other woman is 39, takes care of herself and has great things in life too, has a 15 year old son and although looks are not everything she is just gorgeous and does not look 39 at all, in fact looks barely 29.

    He asked me what I thought about a 26 year old possibly dating and/or being in a relationship with either the 34 or 39 year old? Honestly I could not tell him a decent answer because I personally have never been in a situation like that and have always dated women who were either my age or a few years younger or older, not 8 or 13 years respectively. You often hear now-a-days 40's is the new 30's and 30's is the new 20's.

    My buddy is pretty mature and established in life for his age, however I know he still appreciates having guys nights out and also being a guy in his 20's, but also has been single for a while and on more then one occasion has expressed how he wants to find someone to be with. He has gone out with women are his age but nothing ever becomes of it. I would not call these women desperate or broken, however they are also looking for someone too.

    I figured since I get a lot of advice from the members here on bass gear and such and there is a diverse member base I would ask what people thought of my buddies situation? I know it happens and especially in Hollywood where you have people in relationships and marrying people who are 10+ or more years older (wink Hugh Hefner wink wink). Does it seem weird or wrong for my friend to be in a relationship with someone who is 34 or 39 when he is only 26? Out of the two he told me he has enjoyed talking with and getting to know the 39 year old better. The fact she has a kid does not really scare my friend, however she did ask what his thoughts were on possibly more kids and he told her someday he would like to have a family of his own.

    Any thoughts, advice or whatnot?
  2. 254 stringer

    254 stringer

    Apr 15, 2010
    Waco Texas
    I think yall think about it too much I couldn't even make it through your whole thread. I say he should go for it. He is 26 they are in their 30's its not like he's gonna date a 60 year old.
  3. klejst


    Oct 5, 2010
    I was just simply trying to relay what he told me and was asking to try to find some of the best advice since I mentioned I could not really give him any good advice because I have never been in a situation like that. True that it is only 8 and 13 years difference and not him 26 and dating a 60 year old like you said.
  4. CapnSev

    CapnSev Supporting Member

    Aug 19, 2006
    Coeur d'Alene
    I married a woman 5 years older than me. One of the best things I ever did.
  5. aahhhh.....remember when a 34 yr old was an older woman.....those were the days.
  6. Mike M.

    Mike M.

    Feb 14, 2010
    I remember.......and that was a loooooong time ago for me!
  7. BawanaRik


    Mar 6, 2012
    New Jersey
    Most people spend too much time worrying about the trivia and not enough enjoying the now. In all probability 20 years from now their ages will the last thing he remembers about them.

    I surely hope.
  8. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    I have dated women much older, much younger, and my own age. I can't say that age makes a bit of difference overall. There will always be "things," because of age, but there will always be "things" that aren't because of age, too.
    I really believe age shouldn't matter much. Please understand, I'm almost fifty, so I'm at that weird age where women 30-60 look very appealing to me. I have to say younger than 30 just doesn't feel right, and over 60 would be a rare woman who just has "it," but we're talking about a 30 year range here, and even though I'm happily married, I'm surprised how many women look good to me.
    I say date anyone you can have good times with, because life is short.
  9. klejst


    Oct 5, 2010
    Good responses so far. I can agree that older women may not be perfect either, however they do seem to have their heads on a little more straight then women in their 20's because they have not figured a lot of it out yet.
  10. SonicBlueJoe


    Dec 27, 2007
    Visalia, CA
    Wow. That's right where I am at too, and pretty much how I see it as well.
  11. LiquidMidnight


    Dec 25, 2000
    I dated a number of women older than me when I was in my 20s. The best longterm relationship I had was with a woman five years older than me. It's never good to generalize, but what the hell? I'm going to do it right now. :p

    I've always been "mature for my age," regardless of what age I've been, so dating older women always seemed natural. IME, older women generally have the Knight on a White Horse myth out of their system that sometimes younger women have where they expect life to be a fairytale. Many of them also realize that "bad boys" are often douchebags that are fun when you're young, but you're not going to settle down with them. With that said, you can meet people of any age who have serious baggage that you may not want to deal with, and that goes for older women too. I know women who are in their 40s, who still have a tendency to pick douchebags, and then wonder why they can't settle down in a relationship that lasts longer than two months.

    The biggest hurdle, IME, is that you may be in two different points in your respective lives. The woman I described above who is five years older than me was much more established in her career at the time and was ready to settle down and buy a house. I'm still in grad school and I've already had the realization that I very well may have to leave the region if not the state (if not even the country) to find a job.

    With all that said, IME, the a lot of things become more black and white in the dating world when you get a little bit older, such as what you want in a mate, but a lot of things becomes more ambiguous, such as age differences between you and respective partners.
  12. Willicious

    Willicious Supporting Member

    Feb 24, 2008
    Bend, Oregon
    Bottom line, your friend will never know unless he dives in (figuratively speaking, of course).

    One thing I've learned: less thinking, more dating. He can always bail down the road.
  13. skychief


    Apr 27, 2011
    South Bay
    a cougar in the hand is worth two in the bush.
  14. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Supporting Member

    Jan 13, 2008
    Tampa, FL.
    I actually had a 27 year old hit on me at the bar I was at last night (I'm 22). It was kinda cool... :D

    I guess that doesn't seem like a huge age gap for a lot of you older guys, but it was pretty new to me!
  15. I just started a thing with a girl 7 years older than me and so far its been a lot of fun. Neither of us are looking for our soul mates at this time so its fun just to go out and do things. The best thing about it is she leaves me alone and is not always blowing up my phone trying to talk about feelings and crap like that.
  16. SirMjac28

    SirMjac28 Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion

    Aug 25, 2010
    The Great Midwest
    +1 Now I would be robbing the cradle LOL
  17. SirMjac28

    SirMjac28 Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion

    Aug 25, 2010
    The Great Midwest
    I don't like women my age I prefer a woman just a little younger than me but the woman the absolute love of my life was five years older than me. I would caution your friend those older women are not going to be as forgiving as a younger woman they are at the point in their lives where there will be no nonsense.
  18. UncleFluffy


    Mar 8, 2009
    Head Tinkerer, The Flufflab
    Benjamin Franklin has some excellent commentary on this topic if you care to do a web search.
  19. GeneralElectric


    Dec 26, 2007
    NY, NY
    I have to admit that this thread title piqued my interest. I'm dating a woman who is 6 years my senior. I'm 23 and fresh out of college with a crappy, albeit semi-well paying, job. I don't really see problem with it although she brings up the age difference more than I'd like. However, she's always dated guys who were older than she is and I pointed out her double standard. She seems to have calmed down a bit.

    I've always been mature for my age. People have jokingly refer to me as dad or grandpa for as long as I can remember. I just have my s*** together. ;) Kidding aside, I've dated women that were younger or the same age as me. It just doesn't seem that worth it right now to date them. They don't know what they want or are still naive, crazy, etc. They haven't had time to straighten their lives out or figure out what they're doing. Older women generally have a job, are more settled, and you don't have to foot the bill whenever you want to go out and do something with them. Plus, being with a younger man often makes them feel sexier and younger which is often a boon to their new bed mate.
  20. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    Personalities vary so much that it all comes down to the individual(s) and not the age.
    I've dated older women, younger, Black, White, Asian, in the end it's their personality and how it interacts with yours that matters. Age difference ain't squat unless it's to the extreme.
    But yeah, 34 being an "older woman" I can barely remember back that far! :)