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Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by prophecy, Jan 8, 2004.

  1. prophecy


    Dec 26, 2003
    if this is *too* off topic, i dont mind, delete it, well here goes, I accidentaly fell in love with my drummer (a woman dont worry:p ) but she dosnt love me, sadly my world revolves round her, and now shes leaving to auzzie, im really depressed, i dont work anymore, i barely play my bass anymore i just dont have the energy. any thoughts? yea i know im just searching for some sympathy but noones listening anywhere else :crying:
  2. i'm always down for a little sympathy, if in the end it can get you out of your funk.

    if she's moving away, that will certainly help your cause. it would probably be a lot worse if she was sticking around and you had to see her all the time.

    let yourself feel sad, and soon you'll find that you'll want to entertain other thoughts. you know what they say: a feeling is a thought that you merely think over and over.

    lost love is always a bummer, but time is truly the great healer. also, it does become harder to have strong feelings for someone when they're not around.

    you have my sympathy. and my respect. it's always surprising and encouraging to see that guys admit they have feelings.

    be well!
  3. :(

    Sorry that things didn't work with drummer girl. Yes, being depressed takes your fire away but it is only temporary. Just remember, there is nothing in this life that you can't handle. miko's advice is good, simple and effective...

    Print that post and stick it to your refrigerator. May good times and better days return soon. :)
  4. j-raj

    j-raj Bassist: Educator/Soloist/Performer Supporting Member

    Jan 14, 2003
    Indianapolis, IN
    Sorry to hear about that prof, broken hearts suck.

    mikos' post is pretty right on....

    Don't let your bass playing cease, let it be a great musical outlet... Remember that when it comes to broken hearts for musicians/artists, the distance between you hands and heart lessens...

    So, go pick up your bass and write the most emotion-driven tune ever!

    *Man, last time that happened to me, I must have written a 'box-set' of blues ballads, lamenting my loss.
  5. Sorry to hear that dude, but if she didn't reciprocate, she wasn't the one!

    In a sense I've kinda been there, a long time ago!

    Trust me, it stays bad for a while whe you're feeling sorry for yourself (and you're entitled to it). The rest of the world doesn't matter...

    Just take each day as it comes, and try to live each day to the max. Leave your bass alone for a while....in a couple of weeks you'll start playing again - 'cos you want to!

    Miss Right is still out there waiting for you to discover her!

    All the best dude!:)
  6. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central
    If it helps any, much great art has been born from struggle and pain.

    And as miko said, time heals all wounds. And though lost love hurts like a shot in the gut, eventually you'll look up and find things are a lot better than they used to be. She might not have been right for you anyway. And you never know what twists life will take.

    Take care
  7. Oysterman


    Mar 30, 2000
    If you can't get over her in a year, you have a reason to worry about it. But for now, don't.
  8. Joe Turski

    Joe Turski

    Jul 29, 2003

    Gotta agree here! Take your depression and turn it into some mood music. It should help get your mind off things. Making music has got me through some rough times in the past.

    And I agree with the time will heal all wounds thing going on here.

    Good luck & carry on! :)
  9. RicPlaya


    Apr 22, 2003
    The Mitten
    Get in the Atkins diet, goto the gym, get a hircut buy some new clothes. Get a new girl, if you get tired of her get another one. Get on with your life brother. I've been in the same boat, but I found other women to spend my time with and started to have a ton of fun and realized it was for the best. Now I have a great, attractive girlfriend that gets turned on when I play my bass;) and she can cook.. and does windows..and my point is there are more out there everything happens for a reason.
  10. prophecy


    Dec 26, 2003
    thanks for your support guys, im just gonna take it one day at a time, s'all i can do really... (but washburn emailed me about a vintage replacement neck for my 92' mercury bass :D so that cheered me up) if any of u guys ever need anything, just PM me :)

  11. Lots of good advice here, especially from miko.

    It's hard, but you will survive this experience, although it most likely won't be an enjoyable experience. I know it hasn't been for me...

    ...guess I've gotta reason to worry!!!


  12. gard, you've mentioned this before, and it always makes me sad for you. i hope you're able to feel like yourself again.

    ya know, sometimes i think whitney was right -- "the greatest love of all" is self-love. maybe you can channel some of that sadness to self-love. people always say it's selfish, but i think people who truly love themselves are able to give more love than those who are looking for love from others.

    man, i really gotta get off my dr. phil box. but i do believe in self love! [no, no -- not THAT kind!]

  13. I was in love only two times in my whole life... well... im only 19:D .
    The first one was when i was 17. I was in love with a girl named Milagros. Really really in love. But she hated my singer, who was my best friend. So she left me. 3 months later, i kicked the singer... I spend all the 2002 trying to re-make my life. I wasn`t able to find a band like the one tthat I used to play, and unable to find a girl like her. I was really really sad...:bawl:
    At the beginnig of the `03 me & my friends started to hang out with Milagros and her friends.
    Suddenly i was in love again. Truly obsesses. I never felt that way in my life. I
    At that moment I was hongin with to guys:
    -Guy "A": My best friend. He was my friend since i was 4 years old.
    -Guy "B": He was almost my bro. I was hangin with him 24 hs per day. Also, he was the singer of my band.
    Making things shorter: Guy "b" left with the girl, and guy "A" left me alone.My band broke up, since i cant be playing with the boyfriend of the girl I was in love... Besides, they both start laughting of my situation. I was crying everyday.
    I was all alone. No friends, no band no girl. But then, I make new friends. Focus all my energies on being the best bass player i can be. Making THE band. And i do it. After a few bad relationship, I found a girl that trully loves me. She was ALWAYS there. She is my friend since a long time, but nothing happens until now... Im corrently recording an EP. With a group a really realy good friends. And im really really happy.
    Here in argentinta, people used to say that "If it doesn`t kill you, it makes you stronger". Thats absolutly true.

    Hope it`s useful

    Peace Love and broken hearts:eek:

    P.S: Milagros called me a couple of weeks ago.Crying. She told me that she was in love with me, that she want to leave "Guy A" and be mi girl. My answer? "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA".

    P.P.S: Absolutly true. On that period of times. I wrote more than 20 songs. I also started singing.
  14. miko -

    That kind of "self love" is fine too, just keep it to yourself, ok! ;)

    I'm doing better, thanks for your concern though, it matters, and it is appreciated. I have finally learned to truly love myself, you are right that is the most important person to love. Sad thing is that after a year, I've got to admit I still love her as well, although it is hopeless at this point. Very frustrating at times, but I don't sit home alone at night crying in my milk! ;)

    In the end it will be fine, and I will find a new her to share my life and my love with.

    Thanks again, it's comforting to have friends like y'all.

  15. carry on my friend...there's plenty of drummers out there;)
  16. prophecy


    Dec 26, 2003
    Guess who just picked their bass back up? out of character I decided to play Korn, some screaming and (confesses) E/A bashing later i felt a LOT better...my advice, play...

    "play it again [insert your name here]."

    :bawl: + :bassist: = :D
  17. Funny thing about guys like you - There's enough space inside hearts like yours to love a lot of folks. But like all the other things in life, we have to prioritize our emotions as well. Sort of like the 7 levels of Hell. Well that's probably not such a good analogy but it might apply here in the talk of Love and Romance :). As you go on, the lost loves become relegated to lower and lower levels of our commitment. Finally years down the road, we can still say we "love" them but by then it's because of how they impacted and changed our lives and not because of how they loved us.
  18. Hammy...I'm all verklempt...

    ...talk amongst y'selves f'ah moment, lemme give ya a topic...

    ...fIelDy is neither a drummer nor a bassist...



    ...seriously, thanks.
  19. Hah!!! I've often thought that heavy music was very therapeutic when you're feeling down!!!

    Korn, Limp Bizkit, Sevedust, Linkin Park, and Disturbed.... and loud!!!

    Kwofee Twolk (coffee talk) with Linda Richman.

    Like buddah!!!
  20. OK, OK, what's this verklempt thing anyway??

    I tried the German to English dictionary and then the Yiddish to English dictionary but nothing.

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