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Did i do the right thing?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by curbowkid, Aug 3, 2012.


  1. curbowkid

    curbowkid Guest

    Jun 27, 2011
    Brooklyn, New York
    So my dad has been trying to quit smoking cigarettes forever. And with the recent passing of my great grandfather from throat cancer, me and my step mom want him too quit. He agreed on the day of wallys(great grandfather) memorial, he would quit. And I was proud when the day before he had 4 left and he just checked them out his car window. He really wants to quit.

    Fast forward too this past Wednesday, it's been 2 weeks since I've seen him, he picks me up and we start heading to his house in CT. Pulls out a cigarette. lights up. I said "I thought you were quitting"
    "yeaaa well I am but I smoke them when I'm out of the house and my wife isn't around"
    My dad has never hidden anything. And I thought too myself, what about your own son? Won't smoke in front of the wife but it's fine if it's your son, who wants the same thing.

    Another convo.
    "you know, you're not quitting, you're just hiding it.
    "you're 100 % right, I kinda feel like **** now"
    And too that I broke out into a lil 80s rock song and it cheered him up.

    That day he bought a pack of cigarettes and hid it in his car. I got rid of them. I feel what he was and is doing is really wrong. Am I right?

    Please keep the waffles and bacon too yourself. This is serious.
     
  2. BelleNoireBass

    BelleNoireBass

    Apr 18, 2012
    Bay Area
    No you are not right to steal your dads cigarettes. He's a grown man and you need to get off your high horse. All you can do is tell him that you think what he's doing is wrong and keep trying to encourage him to stop. Doing what you did is only going to foul up your relationship imo.
     
  3. Doesn't sound like he wants to quit.

    The key word in the above sentence is "want". Anytime someone says "I gotta quit smoking.", they never will. The magic phrase is "I WANT to quit smoking."

    As a former smoker, I really hope he does quit. I really hope you can help him "want" to.
     
  4. He is in no way on a "high horse."
     
  5. BelleNoireBass

    BelleNoireBass

    Apr 18, 2012
    Bay Area
    Okay maybe not, but stealing your dads cigarettes because you want him to quit and he obviously doesn't? What gives him that right?
     
  6. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    I would have told my dad I threw them away if it had been me.

    -Mike
     
  7. curbowkid

    curbowkid Guest

    Jun 27, 2011
    Brooklyn, New York
    I got rid of them because not only is he going against his word to family that died from smoking. Also because he's hiding it from someone he told hed never hide anything from. Also because he had another pack already in his other car. AND because I don't like seeing my own father fall back in weakness with something, I KNOW he really really really wants to stop doing.

    I understand you can say you want too all you want, but when someone throws out their own cigarettes I front of you like he did, you know it's what they truly want. I am in no way on a high horse, sir.
     
  8. curbowkid

    curbowkid Guest

    Jun 27, 2011
    Brooklyn, New York
    I did. He in own violent humor said "I could kick you in the head sometimes" it was one of those things family say but in all honesty is just meant to be a laugh. Me and my dad do it all the time. he knows he's wrong for what he's doing. And honestly I don't wanna see my step mom find out he's smoking still and just hiding it. He hid them in the trunk of her car.
     
  9. He's probably pissed at Dad for breaking his promise to quit, lying about smoking, and make him an accomplice to lying to his mother.

    On the heels of his Grandfather's death to boot.

    I understand his reaction, and thing Matticus' response is OK, too.
     
  10. hdracer

    hdracer

    Feb 15, 2009
    Elk River, MN.
    Did you give him his $5.00+ ?
     
  11. curbowkid

    curbowkid Guest

    Jun 27, 2011
    Brooklyn, New York
    I would if I had two nickels to squeeze together.
     
  12. LOL. You could come back with "I'm not really scared of a kick from a p***y who can't quit smoking."

    OK, maybe a little strong.
     
  13. LOL! Probably not.
     
  14. curbowkid

    curbowkid Guest

    Jun 27, 2011
    Brooklyn, New York
    LOL no that's actually us in a nut shell
     
  15. curbowkid

    curbowkid Guest

    Jun 27, 2011
    Brooklyn, New York
    Once again, I would if I could
     
  16. You have to understand just how strong the addiction is. As a recovering smoker of 33 years I can tell you that I'm not the least bit surprised by what your Dad did. I had many "false starts" before I finally quit back in 2006. All you can really do is keep encouraging him to keep trying to quit, but whatever you do don't be a pest! What he's doing is learning how to let go of the cigarettes. It can be a long process, but one day when he feels he's ready he'll quit for good.
     
  17. curbowkid

    curbowkid Guest

    Jun 27, 2011
    Brooklyn, New York
    He too had a lot of false starts. He went a year without them a while back. I do understand how hard it is. But the circumstances of it are horrible. Family died and he made a promise to my step mom (been together for almost 10 years now) that he would quit finally because of all that's happened. Plus it is as you know a very expensive habit. He sucks on an E cigarette (crack pipe as he calls it) when he doesn't have a real one. He's like, giving the impression he's quitting to everyone, when he's really not.
     
  18. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    First and most importantly, look up the use of the words to, too, and two. :) This will help you in the future.

    Second, you were wrong to throw out his cigarettes. It will only piss him off at you, and make him have to go out and buy more cigarettes. What did you hope to accomplish by throwing them out?

    Third, I quit drinking and a bunch of other things in my life. Quit smoking, and it was the toughest of them all. Feel like I actually got lucky one day, and "not smoking" stuck. I tried thousands of times before. I now look at the thousand failed attempts as practice in not smoking. As others have said, your dad has to really, REALLY want it. And there's very little you're going to be able to do to help, other than being supportive. Throwing out a pack of cigarettes isn't being supportive. Although it may seem as though it is.

    Have you ever seen someone walking around with an oxygen tank and a cigarette? I have, many times. A woman who lives on the first floor of my building is dying of some lung disease, but she's still smoking. My aunt had a stroke that the doctors said was the direct result of smoking cigarettes. It didn't stop her. Lots of people smoke themselves right into the grave. The addiction is that powerful. Don't expect the smoking related death of relative to scare anyone away. It sometimes has an effect, but don't count on it.
     
  19. late one night buy a pack of those little firecrackers that come in strings of like 200
    take them apart
    with tweezers remove tobacco from all cigarettes in dads pack
    place a single fire cracker in each cigarette
    use tweezers to replace tobacco
    put them back in the pack
    put pack back where you found it
     
  20. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    My father has had two strokes, and he still smokes. All I can do at this point in my life is hope he stops. But at his age, 63, I think he thinks he is at a point now where stopping won't matter much, so he smokes a few here and there.

    -Mike
     

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