Discouraging parents

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Derp, Jul 13, 2013.

  1. Derp


    May 29, 2013
    Me: *playing bass*
    Dad: play something for me
    Me: *playing sweet child o mine*
    Dad: nah this wont do
    Me: *playing muse hysteria*
    Dad: come on, play a proper tune
    Me: like what? you dont like anything i play
    Dad: alright then, take a six string guitar
    Me: but i dont play it anymore
    Dad: *sarcastic* oh, cause you are such a high level bassist that six string is not for you

    ***>It has been only 2 months since I bought my bass.<***

    Me: *drawing*
    Dad: may I take a look?
    Me: sure! im glad you are so interested
    Dad: *looking at what i have done*
    Me: how is it?
    Dad: this is it? im not impressed at all. and this is the result of years of "drawing"?

    I hate it so much... :mad:

  2. JimmyM

    JimmyM Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Yamaha, Ampeg, Line 6, EMG
    A lot of parents need an enema.
  3. verycoolname


    Jan 28, 2013
    Ehh, parents do that. Especially fathers. Same thing dads do when their sons aren't good at throwing a baseball/football/lacrosse ball/whatever. Probably his way of "encouraging you." A lot of people do better being criticized than praised (I know I do during the basketball season). Your dad's probably not a jerk (unless he is...), it's just his way of trying to get you to practice harder/get better ("come on, play a proper tune" was probably meant as a friendly challenge, not an insult).

    Or maybe I'm completely wrong.

    If it really upsets you tell him, and he'll stop doing it (or at least explain why he is).

    This is also a viable opinion.
  4. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    Nicely done, dad. :meh:
  5. esa372


    Aug 7, 2010
    In the first example, were you playing the bass line to those songs, or the melody?

    He may have been asking to hear a melody that he could recognize.

    Other than that... :meh:
  6. Derp


    May 29, 2013
    He doesn't mean to insult me. He's just that kind of person. If he doesn't like something, he can't tell it nicely. Even though I know it, it's very irritating.
  7. hypapanuse

    hypapanuse Inactive

    Apr 2, 2013
    Along time ago, the kids got an extra credit paper to do for the next day. They of coarse waited until bedtime before saying anything about it. I went off, telling them that if they do it now they are not going to do well because they do not have enough time to do it correctly. But, I let them do it.
    The next day when I sat down to dinner, on my plate were two papers with A's on them along with very nice comments.
    'NUFF SAID!!!!!!!
  8. dcarwin


    Feb 11, 2013
    Derp, sorry your dad is a kook. I'm sure he has some redeeming qualities. Nonetheless, you should move out when you can.
  9. Derp


    May 29, 2013
  10. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Supporting Member

    Jan 13, 2008
    When they (or at least your dad) aren't being respectful of you? Okay...
  11. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    It can be debated how respectful it is of you to post this story on the Internet, so that box is so to speak already opened. ;)
  12. Bassist4Eris

    Bassist4Eris Frat-Pack Sympathizer

    Growing up, my mother was the supportive one, and my father the critical one. While I appreciate my mother's support, I now also realize that my father's criticism was also valuable to my development. And when I finally did impress him, I knew it meant something other than him just trying to be nice.
  13. verycoolname


    Jan 28, 2013
    I understand, because my father's the same way. Though I don't understand why you're posting about it if you understand why he does it...:confused:

    This. My mother praises my musical/academic/athletic achievements all the time, never really shows much disapproval (unless I really mess up/suck). My father's not as quick to praise, so when he does it really, really means something.

    I stand by my opinion that it's just a "dad thing."
  14. Kmonk


    Oct 18, 2012
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan, Nordstrand Pickups, Korg , Conquest Sound
    That is AWEFUL! Parents should be encouraging their children.

    My parents divorced when I was 8 years old and my father was always putting me down. I learned how to be a good husband and father because he was such a bad one. I graduated cum laude from UMASS, was inducted into the into the international honor society and the National Society for Leadership and Success. I own a house, have been married for 25 years and am putting my son through college. I have toured and worked with some very well known recording artists. He is still an alcoholic, barley making a living and still renting a small apartment. The best revenge is that I became successful and he didn't. Don't let negativity drag you down. Just work harder.
  15. Parents, in my experience are pretty lame at supporting the interests and hobbies of their kids. I'm sure that there are plenty of exceptions on TB but they're just that, exceptions. What's worse is that based on my parents and the parents of folks I know they won't even have valid critique they'll just say some discouraging stuff offhand. Don't get me wrong my parents aren't AWFUL about it but I've just come to disregard their opinions on my music, lol.

    The only thing I can say is find strength in yourself and those who do like what you do because it's not worth trying to win over people who aren't invested.
  16. Jonithen


    Dec 3, 2012
    Seacoast NH
    Your dad is awesome. Once you can handle him you won't stress from anyone else. False praise is toxic.
  17. topo morto

    topo morto

    Mar 22, 2010
    Your drawings and playing don't impress him.

    You need to do better.

    He's encouraging you.

  18. No. Wrong. So wrong. Nonsensical discouragement and useless criticism is actually toxic. False praise will at least keep you from feeling bad about yourself and keep you playing. Yea, sometimes things get tough and you have to deal with that but that doesn't mean the people making it tough are in the right cuz, in this case, they're no where near it and it's not beneficial.
  19. BassyBill

    BassyBill Still here Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    I laughed hard at this. :D
  20. elgecko


    Apr 30, 2007
    Anasleim, CA
    At least he wants to hear you play music. Some parents don't even want that.