Ditched by bandmates, back on the lineup, but might get ditched again

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Just_Ethan, Apr 30, 2019.


  1. Our line-up is 2 bassists, 2 guitarists, a drummer and a singer/keyboard, all 17-18 yrsld.
    (I play both bass+guitar, guitar though only for about 5 months)
    We're not really a band, we've 'jammed' a few times, if you can call it that.

    But anyway, at our school they're doing this talent show and I was going to sign up and the 'band' agreed to play Vegemite by King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard with me for our Aussie pride (really just for the funnys). So sign ups open and they drop me like a hot box of rocks. I was pretty annoyed but no use crying over spilled milk.

    Now the crux on my contention. About a week later they reveal that now they're going to play Hysteria by Muse for the other bassist in the band without telling me, despite the fact they agreed to mine a month prior. Now I was pissed. I didn't verbally tell them but I think they got the message from my attitude towards them after the fact.

    Fast-forward to yesterday, and they're complaining on the group chat that the guitarist isn't practicing the song, I jump in and offer to play the guitar part and we discussed it a little.

    I'm happy that I'm on a project since I need experience in band dynamic. But I still fester on getting dropped the first time and that throws me off a little. I'm also worried about the others commitment to the project as no-one really seems to be practicing and I didn't come to waste time.

    [I think a lot of my annoyance comes from the other bassist being vastly inferior to myself. 14 months of noodling compared to 5.5 years of consistent practice and lessons.]

    Am I wrong to feel like this?

    TLDR My band ditched me but I'm back on but I might get ditched again

    This was mainly just ranted about poor bandmates but I thank anyone who has bothered to read.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2019
    Mr_Moo likes this.
  2. FunkHead

    FunkHead Supporting Member

    Mar 10, 2007
    I am currently woodshedding my tail off because I got bumped from a stupid project. My problem was probably overplaying and being too loud.
    All I can do is try to not let it happen again by getting better.
    Being forced to take a good look at yourself once in a while is a good thing.
    Even if you are the better bass player there are things you can work on.
     
    Mr_Moo, design, Jimmy4string and 3 others like this.
  3. Some real genuine advice, thank you!
    Now is probably a better time than ever for a bit of self-reflection/improvement.
     
    design, 3Liter and FunkHead like this.
  4. FunkHead

    FunkHead Supporting Member

    Mar 10, 2007
    That’s good to hear. Best of luck.
     
    Just_Ethan likes this.
  5. kjp360

    kjp360

    Feb 11, 2014
    Sorry to say this kind of thing happens. If I read the story right it sounds like some people were not honest and upfront with you. That is a hard limit for me in a band situation. I am usually done at this point unless there is some history and/or extenuating circumstances. I simply have better places to be or will soon find some. I definitely had many moments feeling similar through various band dramas, especially in my teens and early twenties. You could honestly evaluate what part you played in this situation because that you can actually change moving forward. Was it reasonable for you to expect the others to have the same commitment to this project as you or even to you for that matter? Was the decision to pick the 1st song that was picked a true group decision or one that was solicited by you and grudgingly agreed to by the others? And so on... I have no idea what those answers are for you and do not expect them to be answered but this (and similar) is the type of stuff you could ask yourself. You want to play with people who have the same goals as you or can teach you something...better yet both.
     
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  6. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Connecticut
    Musical talent is not the only reason people are in bands - it's how well you get on with others. But I also think in your case, because you don't have a specific defined role, your position is not as secure. Perhaps after the show, you need one.
     
    Just_Ethan likes this.
  7. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    try actual honest/open communication. you can be a little clever, or you can use humor. but they need to have 'respect for' vs. 'fear of' you as a leader! good luck on the guitar. even better luck on the bass! :thumbsup:
     
    Just_Ethan likes this.
  8. Maybe these are not the droids you are meant to play with. Just saying.

    droids.jpg
     
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  9. Slater

    Slater Leave that thing alone.

    Apr 17, 2000
    The Great Lakes State
    It seems that you’re all young, and at least some “band” members are still trying to figure out how to deal with responsibility and commitment. Just do your best to fulfill your commitment and take advantage of this opportunity to get some experience. If you get “ditched” again, let it be because of the “band” members lack of organization and loyalty, and not due to your actions. In the future, I would look for a situation where you’re less likely to be “ditched”.
     
    Mr_Moo and Just_Ethan like this.
  10. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

     
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