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Do the dying make you uncomfortable?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by MAJOR METAL, Apr 1, 2013.


    MAJOR METAL The Beagle Father Supporting Member

    Are you uncomfortable being in in the presence of someone who is dying? I've seen enough terminal illness to become familiar with it, though I have to say, when the dying process becomes prolonged the daily speculation as to how much time is left gets to be nerve racking.
  2. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    I will say this. If you are close to me, and you are dying, I will be glad to spend whatever time you have left together, regardless of comfort or pain on either of our parts. I have lost people, and I have little doubt there is still more to come. I am sad to see you go, and yet I am happy to be with you. It is hard. It is always hard.
  3. GK Growl

    GK Growl Banned

    Dec 31, 2011
    Before I started practicing mindfulness and Buddhist concepts, I used to be real uncomfortable with it...even with the thought of my own death. I guess age and my shifting perspective on things has helped me be comfortable with what is generally uncomfortable for most.
  4. Hi.


    At a very young age (13 IIRC) I had my first of the many to follow brushes with the Reaper (a helicopter crashing in front of me), and that made me realize how little control we actually have about our departing date.

    We all die, regardless of the species and that's the nature of things, as it should IMO be.
    No use pondering about it.

    I've lost close relatives as well as distant relatives, friends, pets, my pops is slowly recovering from the brain hemorage he had about a month ago etc., but none of that has ever made me to fear death or to made me feel it as uncomfortable.

    I'm not a religious person at the slightest, mind You, so the promises of afterlife or alike does not affect my view.

    SUFFERING and TORTURE however, those are two things I feel very uncomfortable with.
    Watching, witnessing, or hearing/reading about.
    Again, regardless of the species.

    If I see our cats playing with their pray, I usually end it very quickly.
    No love for rodents either, I kill 'em every chance I get.
    But the kill has to be clean.
    The way a feline kills is anything but.

    As vegetarians who have cheated the evolution with technology and became carnivores with the pros and cons that came with it, us humans do not have the "gene" for torture.

    We just enjoy it, (mostly ;)) as long it's us doing the torturing.
    Whatever the justification for it.
    And if there isn't any, we'll invent one for the purpose.
    We are very imaginative that way.

  5. It is not the dying that makes me uncomfortable, it is seeing someone weak and unable to do anything by themselves, the getting old or sick part.

    I am not afraid of dying, i am afraid of getting old, crippled by age and unable to control my body.

    When my uncle died of cancer he spent his last few months in bed, what made it hard to see him was the fact that i couldn't help but think that if i were in his position i would not want people to see me in this state, i would want them to remember me for what i was before, not what i had become.

    I really wish i could keep my 30 years old body until i reach whatever age i am supposed to reach and then just die a sudden death!
  6. It used to, not so much these days.

    Though the one thing that still gets me is when someone is alive and you've already lost them mentally. In her latter days my Grandmother had pretty severe dementia and didn't recognise anyone. At which point you begin to wonder if your presence is more upsetting.
  7. bongomania

    bongomania Gold Supporting Member Commercial User

    Oct 17, 2005
    PDX, OR
    owner, OVNIFX and OVNILabs
    What makes me uncomfortable is later on, when they are staggering around in mobs and groaning and trying to eat my brains.
  8. hover


    Oct 4, 2008
    One of my biggest regrets was not seeing my Wife's Grandmother before she passed...she had had a sudden, violent stroke, and I was in such shock from that, I couldn't bear to see her that way, having been so vibrant...I did take comfort that in some way, I believe she waited until my Son, who had been wanting to see her, finally did, and not a minute or two after he left her room she passed.

    I lost a bit of respect for myself that day. I've never been good around the subject, but admittedly, someone so integral to my kid's lives deserved a little more from me.
  9. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    Dying from a terminal illness? No I'm not uncomfortable.

    Dying from severe trauma? Yes I'm very uncomfortable.

    My Aunt had terminal cancer when she was in her 80's. The crazy old woman went on vacation for a year! She went para-sailing in Mexico, and she parachuted out of a hot air balloon someplace too! She faced her imminent demise with gusto! That woman had balls! I hope I'm that brave when the time comes.
  10. Both my mothers parents faded away in regressive dementia. Yes. It's painful.

    My grand aunt smoked like a chimney in her house, one year we spent cleaning out her house because it was more of a hazmat site than a home. Little did we know the excess of germs in her house were a shell of immunity for her. She died of terminal uterine cancer months later. I visited once just before she passed and her disease was eating her alive, and she was completely disoriented.

    Discomfort is a minor word for how I felt.

    Don't smoke, kids.
  11. Unprofessional


    Mar 5, 2012
    Nobody is "comfortable" around death. But, I have this thing about nobody should have to die alone. I think you owe it to your loved ones to be there if you possibly can. Steel yourself and get in there.
  12. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Looking for a gig around East Islip, NY!

    Jan 13, 2008
    If you think about it, we're all dying each and every day. Some people are just more obvious than others. You can never really tell when your time or someone else's will come, so you should attempt to make the most out of each day with those around you.
  13. Do the dying make me uncomfortable? Not as much as the living do. I mean, have you seen us in action?
  14. As far as death goes I've learned that it's a natural part of life, and we don't get to make the call as far as method of death goes. You can be in a theater or classroom when death comes, or you can live through two wars and live to a ripe old age. Nobody knows when the Grim Reaper comes looking for you.

    Life is a crapshoot. Live life like this was your last day on Earth.
  15. They say that and then a few months later you hear them going, "say, what's this bill I have here?"

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