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do you guys find Christmas a sad time?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by pappabass, Dec 20, 2016.


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  1. do you guys find Christmas a sad time? I do, I think of Christmas past, when were young and had a big family, Seeing my & wife's family get smaller, older, more scattered. Relatives that have passed away. The ones that gave the family 'life' have passed away. We have tried to fill their shoes but not the same . I am fortunate to still have my parents, they are elderly & can't travel anymore.
    How do you guys cope with this ?
     
    slobake likes this.
  2. Gorn

    Gorn

    Dec 15, 2011
    Queens, NY
    I always found it to be a day off. I like days off.
     
  3. I have a retired special forces Marine friend. To him Christmas does not mean much. I asked him why, he said" he spent so many Christmases on a ship or at a Military base,
     
  4. elgecko

    elgecko

    Apr 30, 2007
    Anasleim, CA
     
  5. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    My wife and I are in the same situation. We are now the people that the family looks to. YIKES! Yes, there is sadness but there is also joy at the same time. It is weird but I can experience both things simultaneously. We have shed some tears over those who we miss. I am thankful about the place my wife and I are at. It has taken over 30 years. We can really be honest with each other and we can also sit and cry together and that is okay. My wife tells me she feels safe and protected with me and that is a HUGE compliment.
    We also had some family drama at Thanksgiving but we were all able to sit down and be real with each other. Or at least most of us were. That was a really good thing.
    We have a grandson and lots of other new kids in the family. We did a head count and it was 28 people. Looking forward to hanging out with the family this year in a hall where my brother-in-law lives. The family doesn't know it but we have bought 50 artificial snow balls and plan on having a snow ball fight in the hall.

    Artificial-Snowballs.
     
    Tbone76, MonetBass, pappabass and 3 others like this.
  6. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    This year, it will just be my wife and me. Our son is not going to be home, because he almost always has a Christmas and New Years gig to play. His girlfriend has a big family, and that's probably where he will be. The rest of my family will be out of town, and my wife's family is in England. I'm looking forward to it. It will be different and far less festive, but it will be peaceful and relaxed. We will go to church in the morning, cook, and build a fire. I split firewood for several hours last weekend. Most of it will likely be gone before the end of the day on Sunday. I don't know how we will react to having no surreptitious responsibilities, no stockings to think about, no children around, even if they are adults. We won't even have visitors, most likely.

    I'm actually looking forward to it. It's a sign of becoming a crank, perhaps, but I'm OK with it.
     
  7. There's entirely too much free time in the last couple of weeks of the year.
     
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  8. bolophonic

    bolophonic

    Dec 10, 2009
    Durham, NC
    We lost my father over the holidays, years ago. Having children has made it a much different experience, however, the season still carries with it a very bittersweet edge for me.
     
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  9. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Went through a year where we were too sad to celebrated Christmas. I won't go into the details because it involves other people. It was rough. I put a few lights on a house plant, that was it. My wife spent the day in our bedroom crying.
    We bought our house in December, many, many years ago. We had to scrounge everything we could to come up with a down payment. I bought a tiny living tree and put it in the living room. No presents, chicken for dinner. It was one of the happiest times we ever had.
     
    bholder, Tbone76, pappabass and 2 others like this.
  10. saltydude

    saltydude

    Aug 15, 2011
    boston CANADA
    I cope by thinking of how annoying it was to be 100's of miles away from home after hours of un interesting, sometimes uncomfortable conversation between relatives that never really saw eye to eye. Knowing my poor dog hasn't peed. Exhausted and just wanting to be home.

    Oh, and then it's time for cake and coffee. :dead:

    Edit: also a little splurging on yourself never hurt either. I might just splurge on a new amp this year.
     
    catcauphonic likes this.
  11. bolophonic

    bolophonic

    Dec 10, 2009
    Durham, NC
    One of my favorite Christmas memories was from a year when I was stuck in Chicago, fresh out of college and a thousand miles from home. I had very little to be thankful for that year. I remember volunteering to work at a job I loathed, getting drunk at a Korean restaurant afterwards and then stealing a reject tree that night from a closed-down Christmas tree yard with a friend. It wasn't until I was a real adult that I learned my lessons from that day.
     
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  12. Dave W

    Dave W

    Mar 1, 2007
    White Plains
    Right now it's both fun and maybe a little sad. We've had older family members leave us and those who are left have grown much further apart because of it, but at the same time my family is growing with a new generation of little ones.

    I wish my grandparents were around to meet my kids and to see what their own kids did to the family once they were gone.

    My kids are still really young, so it's fun and exciting to spend holidays with them. It's going to be my youngest' 1st Christmas and he's going to have a blast even though he'll have no clue what's going on nor remember any of it. It'll be my oldest' 3rd so he's starting to understand what's going on and is pretty excited to see everyone and enjoy the day.
     
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  13. The shortage of Reddi-Wip killed it for me this year...
     
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  14. I can relate a little to that even I still have my parents. Most all relatives are gone, my wife's family has lost all the parents, aunts & uncles. Just a few distant in laws and their children.
     
    bolophonic likes this.
  15. What a relief it will be once Xmas is over.
     
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  16. bassdude51

    bassdude51 "You never even called me by my name." Supporting Member

    Nov 1, 2008
    Central Ohio
    From what I've seen in people over the years is a "post Christmas" depression and it usually starts the day after New Years and lasts for a good week afterward.

    But for the most part, I see pre-Christmas happiness and excitement.
     
  17. bholder

    bholder Affable Sociopath Supporting Member

    Sep 2, 2001
    central NY state
    Received a gift from Sire* (see sig)
     
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  18. Mktrat

    Mktrat Seriously, are we not doing phrasing anymore? Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2013
    The Mitten
    This year it's a bit sad.

    My divorce is almost final, first year I wont see my kids on Christmas morning, my brothers are trying to include me in EVERY festive activity, and I just want to be left alone.

    I got my basses, a bunch of movies, and a few new recipes to keep me busy. I'll keep myself busy, but seeing family, especially my nieces and nephews, is just gonna remind me my kids are with their mother. I'm just not ready for that.
     
  19. bholder

    bholder Affable Sociopath Supporting Member

    Sep 2, 2001
    central NY state
    Received a gift from Sire* (see sig)
    And yeah, as an adult, I've always found Christmas time to be extremely depressing.
     
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  20. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    I enjoy Christmas, but yes, there's the element of sadness in it too. For me these days it mostly means all the kids being home (I have three in college right now) and just getting to enjoy their presence. I don't get particularly excited about present and getting things but it's fun when you can come up with a gift that will make someone else excited. The things that would excite me these days are instruments and those are too expensive for any of us to be putting under the tree, it's more the kind of thing I get for myself when I can save up money or have been gigging or, for some reason, a windfall hits (not often lately).

    The sad thing for me is that there was a time we had big extended family gatherings. Those have largely ended; the side of the family (my mom's) has aged, kids have grown and have families of their own with Christmas celebrations of their own, people have moved and drifted apart geographically and socially. I think that's just a fact of the passage of time.
     

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