1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  

Don't "clench your buttocks" around cops...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Balog, Nov 5, 2013.


  1. Balog

    Balog

    Mar 19, 2009
    Mukilteo, WA
    Or they'll kidnap and gang rape you "looking for drugs."

    http://www.kob.com/article/stories/S3209305.shtml?cat=500#.UnkcWhBnAy7

    Dude rolls a stop sign.
    Cops think he looks like he's "clenching his butt" which of course means he's a drug mule with a keister full of coke.
    They get a search warrant (!?!?!?!) valid for one county, for a few hours.
    They can't get the hospital in that county to probe the dude, so they take him to a different county (voiding the warrant) after the time specified (further voiding the warrant).
    He gets, among other things: multiple fingers jammed up his anus, multiple enemas, and finally complete sedation and a colonoscopy. No drugs were found.

    Setting aside how horrific it is that all it takes to get a judge to ok your anal violation is a cop saying "Gosh, he seems to be standing kinda funny" these cops and doctors were acting on a non-valid warrant. Wrong time, wrong place. They (should) have no legal protection for their actions as they were clearly violating the law. Now, if a non-cop were to kidnap someone at gun point and repeatedly shove things up their ass, you might think that they would be charged with some crimes. I eagerly await the no doubt appropriate charges that will be brought against these "bad apples" who "in no way represent most cops" etc etc.

    In another isolated incident, the TX trooper who digitally raped two women in a similar yet even less sanitary search has been reinstated. She was just following orders like a good little cop. How many "isolated incidents" does it take to make a trend?

    http://www.chron.com/news/houston-t...onducted-cavity-search-reinstated-4721814.php
     
  2. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    Pesky 4th Amendment.
     
  3. phantomfiddler

    phantomfiddler

    Oct 7, 2013
    Everytime im being patted down be it law enforcment, tsa, courthouse rent-a-cops etc i ALWAYS fart as loudly as i can. Nothing they can really do about it. :cool:
     
  4. you can fart on demand like that?
     
  5. phantomfiddler

    phantomfiddler

    Oct 7, 2013
    Sometimes yes. I mysteriously became lactose intolerant in my mid-twenties. Im still learning to harness it's power.
     
  6. michael_atw

    michael_atw

    Feb 28, 2009
    Jamestown, NY
    I had a friend who could 'suck-fart' at will.

    The title though should be more like "Don't clench your buttocks around cops who might be located really close to a border rife with illegal contraband."
     
  7. Balog

    Balog

    Mar 19, 2009
    Mukilteo, WA
    Because that totally justifies their actions, including violation of the BS warrant right?
     
  8. Uncle K

    Uncle K The bass player doesn't get a sandwich Supporting Member

    Aug 22, 2011
    Erie, PA
    Didn't some guy get charged with assault for farting at a cop?
     
  9. phantomfiddler

    phantomfiddler

    Oct 7, 2013
    I wonder if the law is even clear about what qualifies as "clenching"? Most every traffic stop i've been involved in, the cop usually insists that i clench my steering wheel. Hell, if i clench my teeth while being tazed will they obtain a warrant to remove my dental fillings and search my molars?:confused:
     
  10. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    I believe that the constitution has a line about civil liberties only being for citizens who were well inside international borders.:|
     
  11. lowfreq33

    lowfreq33

    Jan 27, 2010
    Nashville
    Endorsing Artist: Genz Benz Amplification
    The police can do whatever they want, whenever they want, to very nearly whoever they want. Asserting your rights usually gets logged as "resisting". If you're lucky someone will be around to catch it on video.
     
  12. Uncle K

    Uncle K The bass player doesn't get a sandwich Supporting Member

    Aug 22, 2011
    Erie, PA
  13. That guy needs a team of good attorneys to sue everybody involved in that whole escapade; the cops, judge, doctors, and hospital. All of them.

    On the side topic, I had a friend who could throw up on command. It got him out of a lot of big tests in grade school. Test were handed out, the room would be quiet, then BLUURRCH and the sound of vomit hitting linoleum. Nothing like taking a test with the stench of cafeteria food permeating the air and the janitor spreading that red sawdust crap around.

    The same guy could give himself a bloody nose and force blood tears out his eyes. It scared the nuns.
     

  14. Yes. I forget the details but he farted such a stench that he was charged.

    Want to test it? Get a few bottles of acetylcystine and drink them. In a few hours you will be able to release a fart that can clear an entire club or restaurant.
     
  15. 3 enemas. that stuck out to me. that is potentially deadly as it would severely dehydrate you. should hit them with attempted murder charges for that.
     
  16. Hilarious ! [​IMG]
     
  17. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    This is a horrendous incident, based on what I've read here in this thread. But there are 700,000 cops in the USA according to a quick Google search. I think you're fairly safe in thinking that the sort of actions discussed here are unrepresentative of the majority, statistically speaking. Anybody who draws conclusions about cops in general based on the actions of a tiny proportion of them is not really thinking critically.
     
  18. but that won't stop them!
     
  19. hqdefault.

    I spread muh butt cheeks.
     
  20. michael_atw

    michael_atw

    Feb 28, 2009
    Jamestown, NY
    Only took one post for the strawman. Dang, new record.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.