Drummer gag (sorry drummers)

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Dr Dave, Nov 4, 2003.

  1. Dr Dave

    Dr Dave

    Nov 2, 2003
    Wakefield UK
    Here's an old joke from lil' old England,bet you've heard it.

    Drummer gets fed up with being thought of as being thick as a canteen cup so he decides to become a bass player.Borrows a bass from a mate and sits in his room for a year while he saves his pennies.
    At the end of the year he's getting good and he's flush with coin so he runs into a shop and says 'I'll have a pre-CBS Precision,a Musicman 5-string and a GK combo with a Hartke ext. cab.'
    Sales guy looks at him and says 'You're a drummer aren't you?'
    Drummer says'Well,yeh.How did you know?'
    Sales guy says 'This is a shoe shop!'

    Hope great mirth ensues!
  2. Edwcdc

    Edwcdc I call shotgun!

    Jul 21, 2003
    Columbia MD USA
    I had no idea where that was going. Very funny. I shall send that to my drummer. I think he can read.:D
  3. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    Guy goes on safari in Africa. At night he hears drums. He asks the guide, "what's that", and the guide says, "dem talking drums, say everything good".

    The next night, he hears the drums again. He asks the guide, "what are they saying now", and the guide says "they say hot weather coming".'

    The next night, the drums start up, then suddenly stop. Guy looks quizically at the guide, says "how come they stopped"?

    The guide listens for a while, then says:

    "Bass solo".
  4. I heard something like that before. But it said that the drums should never stop, because then there is a bass solo.

    And I heard this one.

    A man asked a guitarist(bassist, whatever) if he wasn't a musician, what would he be. And the musician replied,"A drummer."
  5. ............ and then there was the time that the bass player locked his keys in his car... it took them two hours to get the drummer out ;)
  6. Flanders


    Oct 30, 2002
    Reno, NV
    Two guys walk up to a curb in the city and hail a cab. The first guy has a guitar slung over his back, and the second guy has a pair of drumsticks hanging out of his back pocket. A cab flashes up to the curb, they get in and roar away. Which one is the musician?

    The cab driver!
  7. This is an old one but....

    What do you call someone that always hangs out with the band??

    The Drummer
  8. Edwcdc

    Edwcdc I call shotgun!

    Jul 21, 2003
    Columbia MD USA
    I told my Mom that when I grow up I want to be a drummer. She said I would have to do one or the other.:D
  9. o0obruceleeo0o


    Nov 21, 2003
    Oxford, NC
    Ok, a drummer walks by a bar....

    Hey! It could happen!

    Q:What's one thing you will never hear a drummer say?

    A:"Hey guys, lets play one of my songs"

    My 1st post :bassist:
  10. vegaas


    Nov 6, 2001
    What do you do when you have a wounded drummer running around your yard?

    Shoot him again.
  11. Why do you guys shun Drummers? Drumms are 1/2 of the rhythym section! :)
  12. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Because, frankly, it's funny.
  13. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan

    nto if u ply spal liek f1eldy.
  14. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    How do you know when a drummer is at your front door?

    The knocking speeds up, then slows down, and he doesn't know when to come in.
  15. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    What do you do when you see a wounded drummer on the floor of the recording studio?

    Laugh and shoot again.
  16. Joey3313


    Nov 28, 2003
    What do you call a drummer who was just dumped by his girlfriend?

  17. OnederTone

    OnederTone Aguilar Everywhere Gold Supporting Member

    Aug 15, 2002
    Thornton, CO
    how do you know if a stage is level

    the drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth
  18. Edwcdc

    Edwcdc I call shotgun!

    Jul 21, 2003
    Columbia MD USA
    BASS PLAYER: Hey drummer, how many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    DRUMMER: Green?
  19. Dream Works

    Dream Works

    Dec 5, 2003
    my brother (who is a drummer) can screw in a ladder without a ladder o_O!


    Why was the drummer arrested?
    He was a drug dealer
  20. What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

    You only have to put info into the machine and hit it once.