drummer joke

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by yellowisfriedeg, Mar 2, 2005.

  1. here's a new one to me :

    A drummer decides to learn how to play a real instrument and goes into a
    music shop...
    "Right" he says, "Ill take that red trumpet and that accordion too"

    "OK", says the shopkeeper, "You can have the fire extinguisher, but the
    radiator has to stay"

  2. Q: How can you tell if the stage is level?
    A: The drool comes out both sides of the drummer's mouth.

    Q: What did the drummer get on their IQ test?
    A: Drool.
  3. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    Q.What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

    A. Homeless
  4. Tash


    Feb 13, 2005
    Bel Air Maryland
    Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None, they invented a machine for that too.

    Yes, all my jokes involve lightbulbs
  5. What do you call a person that follows a band around all night?

    a drummer
  6. The bass player(lead guitarists, rythm guitarist, whatever) locked his keys in the car.

    He had to break a window to get the drummer out.
  7. DubDubs


    Aug 23, 2004
    Los Angeles
    Drummers have discovered the worlds most powerful contraceptive...

    Their personalities.


    and a different version of the first one:

    A drummer decides to try and learn a different instrument. He walks into a music store and says "I'm looking for a new instrument to play, how about that acordian over there?" and the music store owner says "You're a drummer aren't you" and the drummer says "yes, how did you know that?" and the shop owener says "that's not an acordian it's a radiator"


    Q: Why do bassists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?

    A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.


    Q: How do you make a drummers car go faster?

    A: Take the Pizza delivery sign off the top.


    Q: What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

    A: "Hey, guys - why don't we try one of my songs? ..."


    A guy walks into a store that sells human brains. The signs read "'bassist brains $5/lb', 'keyboardist brains $10/lb.', 'guitarist brains $20lb.', 'drummer brains $10,000lb.'" the guy asks the man behind the counter "Holy crap, why are drummer brains so expensive" and the man behind the counter replys "Do you have any idea how many drummers we need to get one pound of brains?"


    I've got so many muscician jokes. My favorite are the bass ones. I know it's not part of the thread but I'll share one.

    How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    none, the pianist can do that with his left hand.
  8. andruca


    Mar 31, 2004
    Madrid (Spain)
    Drummers! Musicians' best friends! :)

  9. I think the joke is, "What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians all night?"

    Here's another one:

    Q: Why is a drum machine better than a real drummer?

    A: Because you only have to punch the beat into a drum machine once.

    - Dave
  10. tplyons


    Apr 6, 2003
    Madison, NJ
    Q: How can you tell if there's a drummer on your doorstep?
    A: The knocking keeps speeding up!

    Q: How do you get him off your doorstep?
    A: Pay for the pizza.
  11. C-Money


    Mar 21, 2005
    I know this isn't a drummer joke, but it's still funny.

    If a bassist gets a chick, what does a guitarist get?

    His pick! :bassist:
  12. pentexlovesme


    Mar 28, 2004
    Here's one that's kind of like that....

    Q: Why's a drum machine better than a real drummer?

    A: The Machine can keep a steady beat and wont sleep with your girlfriend.
  13. j-raj

    j-raj Bassist: Educator/Soloist/Performer Staff Member Supporting Member

    Jan 14, 2003
    Atlanta, GA!
    What is the difference between a drummer and a MPC 2000?

    -you only have to punch the information into the MPC once!
  14. Bassic83


    Jul 26, 2004
    Texas, USSA
    What's the difference between a pig and a drummer?

    A pig won't stay up all nite trying to boink a drummer.... :D :D :D
  15. j-raj

    j-raj Bassist: Educator/Soloist/Performer Staff Member Supporting Member

    Jan 14, 2003
    Atlanta, GA!
    oink a rummer?
  16. Q: who do you call a person who hangs around musicians?
    A: a drummer
  17. WalterBush


    Feb 27, 2005
    Yuma, Az
    Q: How do you get two drummers to play in time together?

    A: Shoot one of 'em
  18. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    What do you get when you cross drummer and a roadie?
    A dumb roadie
  19. Techmonkey


    Sep 4, 2004
    Wales, UK
    Whilst showing a friend my compressor....

    "Holy crap, that thing has more knobs than the average drummer convention!"
  20. I got one! I think it is an original becuase some kid in the snare line for the marching band made it up. (I do percussion during school)

    Q. How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb
    A. 2, 1 to hold the lightbulb in place and 1 to drink enough shots to get the room to spin.

    Oh lol, good times... great times...